After cleaning her room, she went down and asked her mother if there was anything she could help with but was told that she had it under control and that she was actually going to relax with a book for awhile.
Disappointed that there was no busy work to curb her rampant arousal and apparent need to try and drive her boyfriend away, she went back up to her room and went through her own closet. Spending about two hours sorting through her old clothes that she didn’t want to wear anymore, she put them all on her bed in a neat stack. On the other side of the bed, she laid out her new clothes that she’d purchased with Toni, then transferred coat hangers and got them all nice and straight. Heading down to the storage room for a box, she brought it back up, intending to give all her old clothes to the local Christian donation center.
Standing at the end of the bed, she noticed the marked difference in the two stacks of clothes. The old clothes were a much larger stack than the new ones. Toni had assured her that her dad would be fine with the amount of clothes they purchased, so the other stack wasn’t small by any means. Her baby sister had also given her a large selection of her own clothes that she, “didn’t need anymore,” as she put it. She had a moment of clarity then, seeing the two stacks as the two parts of her life.
The right stack was nice, church-suitable clothing. There were sweaters, nice soft-colored blouses and pretty church dresses. There were comfortable, sensible skirts, jackets, and shirts that would be proper in a Christian house. It had nice shoes, dress shoes, flats, tan pumps, plain white tennis shoes that she would wear when they went to play volleyball or go somewhere for a project or to volunteer for Meals for the Elderly.
The left had crop-tops, tank-tops, spaghetti strapped tops, and a hundred other type of revealing clothing, some that she didn’t even know the name of. It had miniskirts, knee-length skirts, leather skirts, leather pants, sinfully colored clothing of every type, as long as it was skimpy or revealing. There were several sets of lacy underwear, revealing bras, skimpy panties, g-strings, t-backs, and even a set of sexy lingerie that Toni had unknowingly loaned her.
The right was what her life had been. It was what her life was supposed to be right now, and in the future. It was what she’d always known, and always wanted. Now, when she looked at it, all she saw was that naive girl that let some narcissistic, manipulative asshole take over her life and use her for his sex games.
The left side was sinful. The left side was sexuality, desire, eroticism, pleasure-seeking. It was full of things that she wouldn’t have been caught dead in before the change. The clothes were indicative of a lifestyle that represented Toni, and that she secretly had prayed for to stray from and join her in the light. It was supposed to be a pile of clothes that she abhorred.
Standing at the end of her bed, she looked at the two piles, left and right, sinful and saintly.
Sam and Samantha.
That was what it boiled down to, she realized. That was the question. Which one was she; Sam or Samantha?”
Samantha was supposed to good, proper, respectful. She was supposed to be who she was. But there in that moment, standing in her room, she felt like Sam was who she was supposed to be. Samantha was that naive little girl, letting a stranger corrupt her.
Sam? Sam was the girl that would have kicked him in the nuts the first time he tried to kiss her or lie about his wife leaving him.
Her moment of clarity climaxed, and she realized that she wasn’t Samantha anymore. That girl was gone. It was just a name now. It evoked a feeling of anger, then revulsion as she thought about the name Samantha.
“Sam,” she said to the two stacks of clothes. “Sam.”
Feeling better, she smiled, then opened the box and started piling the stuff in. It took three boxes and three trips to the car, but eventually she got everything put in the back seat to take to the donation place.
Once back upstairs, she took all the other stuff that she was keeping and put it in the closet, sorting it and grouping it correctly. After that, it only took a few minutes to straighten the rest of her room up, and she flopped back down on the bed, bored and sexually frustrated.
“What the heck do I normally do on Sunday afternoons?” she wondered idly.
The answer was obvious, and she rolled her eyes in irritation.
She partly wished that Double D’s was open on Sundays or that she still had some girlfriends from high school around that she could hang out with. Keith was the only person from that group that was still around, and all she wanted to do with him was have sex. All of her female friends were still Christians, something she didn’t really think of herself as anymore. She wondered if Marley and the guys would let her come over and hang out, or take her to a movie, then figured that wouldn’t be good idea since she had a boyfriend. It wouldn’t be fair to Keith, and certainly wouldn’t be fair to the guys to flirt with them when they couldn’t fool around.
“Right?” she asked herself.
At least it would be something to do, though. She sighed audibly, then glanced over at the mirror where she did her makeup. Stuck in the side of the frame was the business card that the man that she’d waited on that day had given her. She went over and picked it up, looking at it and turning it over in her hands. She had no clue what kind of business Rodney Hanover ran on the side, but something had made her keep the card. She picked up her phone and did a quick search on his name, but only found the listing for his legitimate business. She didn’t think he wanted her to come work for some stupid law firm.
She sighed, then dialed the number. At first no one picked up, and she started to end the call, but then finally, a man answered.
“This is Rodney,” he said.
“Hi, I uh… I got a business card from you at work a few days ago,” she said.
“Well hello,” he said. “Who am I speaking with?”
“This is Sam, from Double D’s,” she said.
“Oh, Sam,” he said. “This is a pleasant surprise. I’m glad you called. How have you been?”
“Fine,” she said. “I was just curious about the offer and wanted to see what this was.”
“Well, like I said, it’s nothing weird or creepy. At least, I don’t think it’s weird. If you’re comfortable working at Double D’s and taking your tits out, you’d be comfortable doing this.”
Sam got a little nervous as he spoke, wondering if she should hang up.
“So, what I want you to do, is let me send you some information. Don’t worry, I’m not trying to get you to sell anything. I’m also not a pimp, so don’t think that this is some fancy way of being a prostitute. I’m a lawyer by trade, so this all has to be on the up and up.”
“Okay,” she said.
“The easiest way to get this information to you safely is to send it to an email address. You can look through it at your leisure and get back to me whenever you like. There is no contract to sign. If you participate once and hate it, we pay you the standard fee and you can go your separate way. Sound good?”
She had to admit that it didn’t sound as creepy as it had in her mind when he’d given her the business card. She could get someone to run a virus scan on the email and make sure it wasn’t something with malware.
“Okay,” she said.
“Excellent,” he said.
She gave him an email address that she had setup to be able to sign up for various web pages.
“Alright, Samantha, I’ve got your email address and I’ll get the information sent to you in a little bit. There’s no rush on getting back to me and you’re welcome to ask me questions if you have any, either by text or that email will work.
“Thanks,” she said. “I’ll check it out and get back to you.”
“Sounds good, Samantha,” he said.
“Oh, and it’s just Sam,” she corrected proudly.
“My apologies,” he said. “Again, thank you Sam. I look forward to hearing from you.
“You too,” she said, then clicked the phone off after a final, “Goodbye.”
Turning, she tossed the card back on the dresser and went and laid down on the bed, looking at the clock and realizing that she now had absolutely nothing else to do. She checked her phone, and saw that Keith had texted at some point, saying that he needed to talk to her.
“Hey there,” she sent him. “Want come over here?”
“Sure,” he replied. “We’re stopping at my grandparent’s house before going home, so I’ll see you in about an hour.”
“Okay,” she replied.
She frowned, sensing something was wrong. She began wondering if he was upset again about things, or if he’d had second thoughts about what had happened last night. She certainly didn’t want her family hearing about anything like that, so she knew she would have to be quiet about things if he was troubled.
Making sure she was presentable, she stood in front of the mirror and realized that she was behaving like foolish old Samantha would. Only Samantha would need to be “presentable” as any good, Christian girl would strive to be. Old habits die hard.
“It wouldn’t do for Keith to see me unkempt,” she said, elevating her voice and making fun of her old self.
Rolling her eyes, she pulled her hair back into a simple ponytail and changed into some clean clothes instead of the pajama bottoms and sports bra that she’d been wearing. She was determined to stop acting like naive Samantha and to being the vulnerable, asexual, little twit that didn’t see trouble coming before it punched her in the mouth with its cock.
While she waited, she went and checked to see if any of her siblings were there. Alex and Toni were both gone, and Danny was as well. Dane’s door was closed, and she didn’t hear any noise, so she didn’t know if he was there sleeping or what. That was good at least; she certainly didn’t want to bother her siblings with her problems.
Laying back down on her bed, she contemplated her weird sexual issues that seemed to be happening more and more lately, while she waited for one of those weird sexual issues to show up so she could entertain herself. Feeling a little bad for thinking about him like that, she told herself that she’d suck his cock to apologize.
She still cared about Keith, or at least she thought she did. He was nice, and he treated her well. But, part of her wanted more. Or was that just human nature, to always want what you don’t have? Maybe Marley would be a better choice. He would certainly have known that Pastor Dickhead would have been up to something. Sighing, she rubbed her temples in an attempt to ward off the headache she was giving herself. Everything had just been so… sexual lately.