JOAN’S POV
I sat on the couch in the living room with my heart beating so fast that it felt like it was going to burst out of my rib cage any time soon. The memory of Sir Derrick’s lips on mine played on a loop in my head. Each time I thought about it, my heart would flutter and my breath would be caught in my throat.
I should be angry at myself-no, I should be terrified. But all I could feel was confusion and a magnetic pull I couldn’t get rid off.
I pressed my fingers to my lips, trying to make sense of what just happened.
How could I let myself get so close to him? How could I let myself fall for him?
He was dangerous, for God’s sake-a mafia boss. I’d seen with my own eyes what he was capable of. I witnessed him kill a man right in front of me. And yes, it was to save me, but does that make it any better? My mind screamed no, but my heart… my heart told a different story.
Why was I so drawn to him? It wasn’t just the danger that surrounded him, although that was a part of it, I supposed. There’s something about sir Derrick, something beneath the surface, that kept pulling me in even when I knew I should be running the other way. One moment, he was cold and cruel, barking orders at me like I’m nothing more than a piece of furniture. The next, he’s saving my life, looking at me like I’m the only thing in the world that matters.
My thoughts drift back to the kiss-how sudden it was, how intense. I could still feel the warmth of his breath on my skin, the way his hands held me. There was a fire in his eyes, something raw. It terrified me… and thrilled me. And that was the problem. I shouldn’t be thrilled. I shouldn’t be feeling anything for him at all. But I did
I hugged a pillow to my chest, curling up on the couch as if I could hide from my own emotions. I promised myself a long time ago that I wouldn’t let any man get close to me again. Not after everything that’s happened to me in the past. I’d been down that road before, and it only led to pain. I’d been hurt in ways nobody could imagine. But Sir Derrick… he was different. He wasn’t the kind of man you could easily walk away from.
“Joan! I’m home!” Bea’s voice sounded from the doorway.
I quickly wiped at my eyes, not even realizing I was close to tears. I forced a smile on my face as Bea walked into the living room.
“Hey, Bea,” I said, trying to sound normal.
BBea’s eyes narrow at me the moment she sees me. She always could see right through me. “Okay, what’s going on with you?”
“Nothing! What makes you think something’s wrong?”
She dropped her bag on the floor and plopped down on the couch next to me, giving me that look she always gives when she’s about to dig out a secret.
“Don’t ‘nothing’ me, Joan. You look like someone just told you your favorite show got canceled. Spill. Now.”
I let out a heavy sigh. There’s no use hiding it from her. “I… had a visit from my boss today.”
Bea raises an eyebrow. “Sir Derrick Stonewood?”
I nodded “Yeah”
“How did he even find out where you were? What did he want?”
I shook my head, trying to keep my emotions in check. “And nothing. He just came by.”
“Oh, come on, Joan. You’re a terrible liar. Something happened, didn’t it? Did he do something to you?” Her voice hardened, and I could she was ready to march over to Sir Derrick’s place and give him a piece of her mind if I said yes.
“No! No, it’s nothing like that.” I waved her off, but Bea wasn’t convinced. “It’s just… I don’t know. Work stuff”
Bea snorted “Work stuff? You’re sitting here looking like you just saw a ghost, and you expect me to believe it’s just work stuff?”
“Joan,” Bea said slowly, leaning in closer. “What aren’t you telling me?”
I felt the heat rise to my cheeks “Nothing, Bea. Seriously. He just… came by to talk about work.”
“Uh-huh,” Bea teased “And did this ‘work talk’ involve him getting close enough to make you blush like that?”
I opened my mouth to deny it, but the words catch in my throat. Bea’s eyes widened as realization dawned on her, and she let out a squeal of excitement.
“Oh my God, Joan! Did he… did you two…?”
I shook my head furiously, but the damage was already done. Bea was practically bouncing on the couch now in excitement.
“You kissed him!” she accused with a grin. “Or he kissed you! Or both! Oh my God, Joan, you have to tell me everything!”
I groaned, burying my face in my hands. “Bea, please… It’s not what you think.”
“Not what I think? So he didn’t kiss you?”
“He did, but-”
“I knew it!” Bea threw a pillow at me. “I knew there was something going on between you two!”
“There’s nothing going on!” I said.
But Bea wasn’t listening. She was already running circles around the couch, grabbing pillows and flinging them at me like a happy teenager.
I caught one of the pillows and threw it back at her, “Bea, stop! It’s not like that!”
“Not like what?” she teased, tossing another pillow. “Not like you’re falling for your hot, dangerous billionaire boss? Because that’s exactly what it sounds like!”
I laughed “You’re impossible, you know that?”
“And you’re not telling me everything. Come on, Joan. Spill the beans. What happened? And don’t even think about leaving out the juicy details!”
I sighed, knowing I won’t get out of this easily. “Fine, but you have to promise not to make a big deal out of it.”
Bea grinned, crossing her fingers over her heart. “Scout’s honor.”
I take a deep breath “Okay, so he came by earlier…”
Bea nods eagerly, leaning in closer as told her what happened. I told her about the kiss, how sudden it was, how it left me breathless and confused. Bea listened with wide eyes, her grin only growing wider.
“Wow,” she breathed when I finished. “That’s… intense.”
“Tell me about it,” I muttered “But it doesn’t change anything, Bea. He’s still my boss. He’s still… him.”
“But you like him,” Bea pointed out gently. “Don’t you?”
I didn’t answer right away. Instead, I stared down at my hands, twisting my fingers together.
“I don’t know, Bea. I don’t know what I feel. One minute he’s being reasonable, and the next… he’s so mean to me. And he’s dangerous. You know that. I shouldn’t be feeling this way.”
“But you do,” Bea said softly. “And that’s okay, Joan. Feelings are messy and complicated. But you can’t ignore them. Maybe… maybe you need to figure out what you really want.”
I looked up at her “What if what I want is bad for me?”
“Then you have to decide if it’s worth the risk. But don’t let fear be the only thing that guides you. You deserve to be happy, even if it’s complicated.”
I nodded slowly, taking in her words. Maybe she was right. Maybe I did need to figure out what I really wanted, no matter how scary it was.
We stayed in silence for a while. I stared into space, battling with the emotions I felt inside.
“You know, I’m here for you, no matter what you decide.” she said with a smile.
“Thanks, Bea. I mean it.”
“Anytime,” she said, patting my knee. “Now, are you going to tell me if he’s a good kisser or not, or do I have to disturb you for the rest of the night?”
I laughed “I don’t kiss and tell”
Bea groans, falling back on the couch dramatically. “You’re killing me, sis.”
We were both laughing when my phone rang. I picked it up and answered. I didn’t recognize the caller ID.
“Hello” I answered “Who is this?”
“This is Dr Williams” the person said “You need to come to the hospital now!”