DERRICK’S POV
I couldn’t concentrate on anything that day. It was as if my mind was trapped in a loop, replaying the same scene over and over again. I had a whole lot of tasks to get through, but my thoughts kept going back to Joan.
I could still see her form in my mind, crouched down and trembling, her eyes wide with fear. She covered her body with her arms in a defensive motion.
When I had shouted at her, she looked like she was having a panic attack. The sight of her like that, so vulnerable and scared, haunted me. The way she had looked at me, like I was some kind of monster, had affected me more than I wanted to admit. I felt guilty. I shouldn’t have snapped at her like that but I was in such a bad mood. My deals were going sour and my workers had annoyed me previously. I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on her. She didn’t deserve that.
“Sir, are you even listening?” Santi’s voice cut through my thoughts, snapping me back to the present.
I blinked, trying to focus on the discussion at hand. We were in the middle of a meeting about our latest deal that had been leaked. It was clear we had a mole, and we needed to catch them before they did any more damage. But at that moment, I couldn’t bring myself to care. All I could care about in that moment was Joan. Something pulled me to her. It was like an invisible force. I couldn’t explain the feeling but it was there and it was obvious.
“Sorry, what were you saying?” I asked, rubbing my temples in frustration.
Santi sighed “I was saying that we think we’ve identified our mole. We’re planning to feed him false information about an incoming shipment to see if he takes the bait. If he does, we’ll have all the proof we need to deal with him.”
I nodded absent-mindedly “Right. Sounds good. Do whatever you need to do.”
Santi raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced by my half-hearted agreement. “Boss, are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been out of it all day.”
“I’m fine, Santi. Just got a lot on my mind.”
He didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t push it. “Alright, if you say so. I’m sorry to say but you need to be focused. This mole is a serious threat, and we can’t afford any mistakes.”
“I know,” I said “I’ll be fine. Just… need to clear my head.”
“Okay. Well, we’ll go ahead with the plan. I’ll keep you updated.”
“Thanks,” I said, standing up and grabbing my coat. “I’m done for the day. See you tomorrow.”
Santi opened his mouth to say something, but I didn’t give him the chance. I turned and walked out of the room. Right now, I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone.
I had a lot of questions. Why was Joan so scared? I mean, I know I shouldn’t have shouted but she acted so terrified when I lashed out. Did she have an abusive past?
I let out a deep breath. These questions and many others filled my mind. I was determined to find answers to them.
*
Throughout the day, I tried to get Joan off my mind but the sight of her frightened eyes kept haunting me. No matter what I did, her scared expression wouldn’t leave my mind. After a quick, hot bath, I laid in bed, hoping the warmth would soothe me into sleep. But it didn’t work. I tossed and turned, unable to sleep.
I knew that laying down wouldn’t help. I needed to do something to get my mind off this girl. I wondered why I was acting like a teenager. Why do I care about her so much? She’s nothing to me.
Feeling frustrated, I got up and decided to take a walk, hoping it would help to clear my head. I left the room and walked down the hallway. The hallways were dark and quiet. I hadn’t realized where I was heading until I found myself standing in front of Joan’s door.
I felt stupid for being there. What was I even doing? I should go back to my room and try to sleep. But as I turned to leave, I noticed her door was slightly ajar. Curiosity got the better of me, and I gently pushed it open.
Joan’s room was dark. The only light came from the moonlight seeping through the window. I walked closer to get a better glimpse of her. She was asleep in her bed. Her breathing was steady and calm. For a moment, I just stood there, watching her. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful.
The moonlight illuminated her beautiful features, making her look like she just stepped out of a dream. She looked like a painting. Her dark long hair was spread out on the bed. Her pink lips were slightly parted as she breathed. I could see the shape of her body in the dress she wore as she slept on her side.
I felt drawn to her in a way I couldn’t explain. Unable to resist the pull, I moved closer and sat down on the edge of her bed, careful not to wake her. She looked so vulnerable, so delicate. I wanted to hold her, to protect her from whatever nightmares haunted her. I fought the urge to play with her hair.
God… She was beautiful. She was the most gorgeous woman I laid my eyes on.
As I sat there, I found myself leaning closer. My eyes took in the perfect curve of her cheek, the way her lashes fluttered against her skin and the way she breathed peacefully. She was so beautiful, so serene. I felt emotions in my chest, just by looking at her. I had a strong urge to kiss her, to feel her lips against mine.
But just as I was about to give in to that feeling, she murmured something in her sleep.
“Jake,” she whispered. A tear slipped down her cheek as she said this.
I pulled back. I felt mixed emotions inside me – anger, jealousy.
Who the fuck was Jake? Why was she calling his name in her sleep? I felt stupid for what I had almost done, and angry at the thought of her dreaming about another man.
I stood up quickly with my fists clenched. What was wrong with me? I shouldn’t be here, invading her privacy like this. I turned and left her room, closing the door behind me more forcefully than I intended.