JOAN’S POV
I couldn’t stop crying as Lady Irene pulled me away from Sir Derrick’s office. The memories of Jake’s hits and my own screams haunted me. The memories replayed in my mind like a broken record. I remembered how he would always insult me coupled with the cold look in his eyes when he would hit me.
Lady Irene held me gently, patting my back with one hand and rubbing soothing circles on my arm with the other. Her touch was comforting. Her touch felt so different from the cold violent hands I remembered.
“Breathe, Joan,” she whispered softly “Just breathe, sweetheart. Take it slow.”
I tried to focus on my breathing, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly, but each breath felt like it might shatter me.
Lady Irene took me to her room and helped me sit on her bed. I was breathing heavily, still struggling. She handed me a glass of water and helped me guide it to my lips as my hands shook too much to hold it myself. The water soothed my throat, and gradually, my sobs lessened.
“That’s it, you’re doing great,” Irene encouraged “You’ll be fine”
After what felt like an eternity, the tears slowed down but I was still trembling. The room seemed to spin around me and the walls seemed to close in. My heart was still pounding loudly in my chest. I felt detached, as if I were floating above my own body, watching this sad, broken version of myself.
“Lie down, love” Lady Irene said gently.
With her help, I laid on the Matress. My body still took with the weight of my sobs. The concern on Irene’s face was obvious. Her eyes never left me as she arranged the pillows and pulled back the covers.
“You’re safe here, Joan. No one can hurt you now,” she assured me.
I nodded. I tried my best to find comfort in the softness of the bed, but my body wouldn’t stop shaking. The panic attacks were frequent. They had stopped for a while but i got triggered when Sir Derrick screamed at me.
“What exactly happened?” she asked me.
“I had a panic attack” I whispered.
“Do you have anything for these attacks?” Irene asked, sitting beside me and holding my hand.
“Yes,” I whispered “I have some medication, but it’s at Bea’s place.”
“Who’s Bea?”
“My best friend”
Lady Irene nodded “Let’s call Bea. She’ll know what to do.”
With shaky hands, I took my phone from my pocket and dialed Bea’s number. The phone rang twice before she picked up.
“Hey, Joan! What’s up?” she said.
I tried to speak, to tell her what had happened, but the words choked in my throat. The emotions I felt were too overwhelming. I broke down again, sobbing into the phone.
“Hey” Bea said “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
Irene took the phone gently from my hand and spoke. “Hello, Bea? This is Irene. I stay in the house where she works. Joan’s had a panic attack. Can you bring her medication to a nearby location? She needs it urgently.”
I could hear Bea’s worried voice on the other end, though I couldn’t make out the words. Irene listened to her , nodding occasionally, before responding. “Thank you,. We’ll meet you at the old church on Pam Street in twenty minutes.”
She hung up and turned back to me”Bea is on her way. I’ll drive you to meet her.”
I nodded, too exhausted to respond verbally. Irene helped me sit up, and I felt like a child being cared for. I felt so fragile and dependent. She wrapped a warm blanket around my shoulders and hugged me tightly. I sniffed, holding her back.
She kissed my temple “You’ll be fine, Joan. I promise”
*
The car ride to the church felt endless. Lady Irene drove me. Every now and then, she would stare at me in concern. I stared out the window, lost in thought.
“Joan, did I ever tell you about the time I got lost in Paris?” Lady Irene’s voice broke through my thoughts.
She was trying to distract me from my thoughts.
I shook my head absentmindedly My gaze was fixed on the passing scenery. The familiar streets blended into a blur of colors as we passed by.
“It was a few years ago, during a fsshion festival,” Irene continued with a small laugh. “I decided to explore the city on my own, without a map. I thought I could find my way back to my hotel easily, but I ended up getting completely lost in the streets.”
She laughed at the memory but I was only half-listening. My mind kept pulling me back to the past, to Jake’s rage-filled eyes and how his fists would clench in anger. I remembered the nights I spent hiding in corners, praying for it to stop. I felt the bruises and cuts, the fear that never seemed to go away.
“Joan?” Lady Irene called.
I turned to look at her, blinking away the tears that had started to come up again.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, trying to focus on her story. “What happened next?”
She smiled gently. “A kind man found me and offered to show me the way back. We ended up spending the afternoon together, and he told me all about his stories in tbe city.”
I nodded. I wanted to engage, to listen and respond, but the memories in my head were too strong.
We arrived at the church and I spotted Bea waiting in the parking lot. As soon as Irene parked the car, Bea rushed over to us. I got down from the car.
“Joan!” Bea enveloped me in a tight hug as soon as I stepped out “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
I hugged her back “Thank you. I’m sorry to trouble you.”
“Don’t be silly,” Bea said, pulling back to look at me. “I’m just glad you’re safe.”
She turned to Irene and her eyes widened in surprise “Wait, aren’t you Irene Stonewood?”
Irene smiled warmly, extending her hand. “Yes, that’s me. And you must be Bea.”
Bea shook Irene’s hand, clearly starstruck. “Wow, it’s an honor to meet you! I love everything you do.”
I couldn’t help but smile at the exchange. Seeing Bea and Irene get along so well made me happy.
As they talked, I got lost in my mind once more. I tried closing my eyes but every time I closed them, I remembered Jake’s cruel eyes and the feeling of his punches.
I took a deep breath.
I hoped I would heal with time.