It had been two months since Max Sturm attempted to take my son away from me.
Two months of not seeing or speaking to each other. Two months of pain that refused to go away.
My mother once taught me that time was the greatest healer. Wounds heal with time, same with misunderstandings. But the gap between Max and I only deepened as the day progressed. I couldn’t get over my hate for him, even with the fact that unity was strength and Finn needed us both at this crucial point of time in his life. I didn’t know how to forgive him, and since he wasn’t making any conscious effort to make amends for all the pain he caused, I figured that perhaps he felt the same way. He hated me as well.
I stopped searching for a job and just plunged deep into an abyss of emptiness, sadness, and reflectiveness. Ivy and the other girls tried to get my spirits up, and I even received a response for an important interview I signed months ago, but there was no motivation to work. The fear of having Finn away from me forever was traumatizing enough. I didn’t know what lengths Max was going to go to get what he wanted, so I was prepared to play cool.
Never play with fire, or else you’ll get burned.
Now, I didn’t see him anymore. Whenever he came by every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to pick up Finn, I had Cora welcome him instead while I stayed in my room and listen quietly as he spun Finn around in the air, my little boy laughing in glee, and promised him lots of gifts on their way out. He never asked for me, because he was well aware of the fact that I was avoiding him – which I couldn’t keep up with forever, but I needed time and space for myself to think and re-evaluate everything that took place these past weeks.
Finn was growing up so fast, and turning to be like his father more and more. I was practically watching my little boy grow from a quiet toddler to a strong-willed fighter. He always looked forward to Max’s outings. Max was an excellent father to him, I had no doubt about that.
Before, I’d felt intimidated by his wealth. His affluence. His power. But now, I had nothing but resentment for him. The hot, sweet gentleman who’d once been crazily in love with me had morphed into a cunning control-freak, who cared about nothing and no one else than himself.
The Sturm family was renowned and well-known for their unity. Members were loyal and dedicated to each other till death. They did everything together, strategically – and always got whatever they wanted together, as a team. If they went against anyone with this communal strength, best believe, they’d have that person crushed to smithereens.
They had the connections. They had the money. They had the world on the heel of their palms.
I had nothing. No money. No family in New York.
And now I had no son as well. The Sturm family had staked their claim on Finn, and I was afraid of the man he was going to become. I didn’t want him to be spoilt and controlling like his father. I wanted him to be meek and calm, just like he’d always been while I had him all to myself.
But it was above my power now. He had the Sturm blood running through his veins. It was only logical he grew up to behave like them. Two days ago, when Max brought him back, he told me he sent Cora to tell me he’d changed Finn’s name legally, on his birth certificate.
He was now Finn Arius Sturm, with a hefty trust fund, a billion-dollar inheritance, and an affluent daddy.
I’d expected every bit of it, since the moment I gave birth to him. And honestly, it could’ve happened a lot sooner if Max had found me in Ohio after that night. Everything could’ve gone differently. All I ever wanted was for Finn to have a father who would protect him with all his heart – a man who would love him with all his heart as much as I did.
And Max loved him. Even more than me. It was evident in the way his eyes lit up the moment he saw Finn. It was glaring in his laughter as he spun Finn in the air. It was undeniable in his voice and his demeanor. Their strong bond made me envious, but it was everything I ever hoped for and more, and I was somewhat fine not being included in the fun.
Jess has been glorious, and I’d only seen her at least once since everything went downhill, and that was after she’d gone into labor, and delivered a baby boy – the now, youngest Sturm in the family. I’d gone visiting with Finn, and she was more than pleased to see me. It was only when I held her hand I got to realize how much of a phenomenal friend she was.
She understood me and knew why I did everything I did. She was the only one who really believed I was drugged, and not the other way around, and she didn’t take it likely with Max when she found out what he’d done. I only wished she’d been able to stop him before he ruined everything between us.
A part of me was glad that no matter what, Max had Finn’s best interest at heart. That was reassuring enough.
My days became boring. I struggled to go back into baking, or join a reading club to keep myself busy, but my sadness wouldn’t let me. I felt so lonely, and forgotten – and the fact that I didn’t have Finn to keep me company three days a week was painful. At last, I gave up on having a hobby and just rolled off into the deep end.
I didn’t have to worry about rent, and Finn was happier than ever.
But my heart was no longer beating. It’d been ripped out, stomped on, and thrown into the middle of the ocean.
I wanted to move on from everything that had happened. To escape the pain. The resentment. The avoidance. But it was hard. No matter what, I just couldn’t stop hurting.
I needed to get over it. The past was in the past.
Our loving relationship and my feelings for him were all in the past as well.
Currently one in the morning, and here I was, rewatching The Kissing Booth. Finn was over at the Sturm mansion for the weekend, and Cora was sleeping over at Trent’s. Their relationship had solidified over these past three weeks, and he could propose to Cora any moment from now.
I was so happy for her. They deserve each other.
Scrolling through my older messages, I blew out a defeated breath, bored to my skull. Maybe I should sign up for a blind date someday and go have fun.
Standing up, I turned the television off and headed up to bed. I hoped I’d feel better tomorrow morning.
Who was I kidding? I’d feel worse in the morning. I knew because I always did.