James –
When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. That’s what my mom had always told me as a child, too bad it didn’t always work out that way. Lately, my figurative lemonade was almost always too bitter, and required a lot of sugar to balance it out.
So much had happened recently, that I just wanted to relax. It was hard, considering the constant turmoil in my mind. When I shut my eyes, I could still see Caitlin getting fucked on my couch. I could still hear Cyrus laughing, as he told me that he had been the one to kill my parents. I could still see that gorgeous woman, Tanya, sitting poolside.
Why me? What the fuck did I ever do to deserve all this shit?
I had finally taken a call from Tanya, who profusely apologized to me for the ugliness we witnessed at her home.
“I like you, Tanya, I do. If you haven’t noticed by now, I am a one woman kind of guy, and expect the same in return.”
“Yes, Tyler was there, but he and I are no longer seeing each other.”
“It didn’t look like that to me. You were naked, and he came to the door almost naked. Two plus two usually always equals four. Plus, you lied to me about the extra days. I know I don’t own you, but I don’t like being lied to either.”
“I didn’t lie to you. We really did end up shooting several additional scenes. OK, what will it take to prove that you can trust me?”
“I don’t know. Trust is earned, and it’s hard to earn it when we live so far apart. I’m sorry, but I should get going. Goodbye, Tanya.”
With that, I hung up. That woman was an enigma to me. She was about ten years younger than I, and as successful as you can possibly be. I had thought we had a connection, at a personal level, but who the hell knows anymore? She’s an actress, so maybe she was just playing me to have some fun while here on vacation.
At least some things were going right for me. The plane got fixed, including some of the emergency supplies and upgrades that I had asked for. Obviously, I had not been as prepared for flying around these islands as I should have been. Shawn and I went over the basics and had the bird better equipped, should I have another emergency.
Tammy and Shawn were both extremely happy, working in Hawaii with me. Tammy’s daughter Amber came around the office more often than before, just like I had suggested. Tammy pretended to be grumpy about it at first, but you could tell the two being together really made her day. She hung around whenever she wasn’t in school.
Heck, even Howard seemed to be enjoying himself more these days, although that might be attributed to the vast quantity of distilled beverages that he consumed. He had grown quite fond of my ‘Beach Pineapple’ concoction, after having run out of his favorite scotch one night.
Maddy was doing very well in school and kept me updated on her life. It sounded like it was getting pretty serious with Sarah, and I told her that was wonderful. She also felt obligated to give me updates on her mother’s life, although I could have done without those. Apparently Caitlin was seeing a therapist, for several issues. She also made sure to tell me that she wasn’t going out or dating anyone. I told her to wish her well for me, but really didn’t need to be kept posted. She was free to do whatever, and whoever, she wanted to.
I got a letter from her, but haven’t opened it yet. I did notice that she had the return address showing her name as Caitlin Holmes, and not her maiden name. I just sighed and tossed it on my desk.
As the holiday season approached, we were very busy ferrying tourists all over the islands. I got to meet a lot of very interesting people, and some not so much. I flew a couple from New York, who had come to renew their wedding vows. There was this group of three guys and one woman that supposedly were all in a relationship together. Well, I guessed that part, but it was obvious that something was up, since they all made out like teenagers and were constantly touching. I felt like an NYC Taxi driver, with all the stuff I saw.
The strangest by far though, was this guy that I could only describe as some kind of monk, or priest. He said he was coming to ‘find himself and god’. He was a bald older guy, with a tattoo where hair should have been. The closest thing I could compare it to would be Native American symbols, but I really had no idea. When I dropped him off, and asked when to return for him, he simply said, “God will tell you when I am ready to be picked up.” He was definitely one of the ones we made sign a waiver, releasing us from liability if he never came back.
Aside from all the fun of flying, my personal life was stagnating. I hung out with my friends, but wasn’t really working too hard to find another woman in my life. Shawn kept goading me to call Kim back, but I told him that while she was hot, she was half my age. Howard did try to get me to call Tanya once or twice, but I just couldn’t. Being honest with myself, I was tired of the gorgeous princess types now, and felt I didn’t need any more drama in my life.
Time just seemed to keep on marching forward, which is exactly what it’s good at. I heard back from Tanya, through Howard, that there was some interest from a few publishers in my story. I really didn’t care too much, but was glad to hear that something good might come from all of this.
With all of this free time on my hands, I did get to do a lot of introspection. One thing that I truly believed was that through all of the drama of the last year or so, my reactions to everything had been to run away. When everything blew up with my wife and Cyrus, I ran to Hawaii. When I thought things were going to get serious with Tanya, and she turned out to be less serious about us, I ran from that, too.
Only when the fight was brought to me, did I seem to stand my ground. With both Caitlin and Cyrus hunting me down, each for their own reasons, only then did I not run away. Maybe, it was because I felt I had no choice. Maybe, it was because I decided that enough was enough. Maybe, I was the one that really needed the therapist. Who knows? I did make a resolution to put a stake in the ground, and work to confront things more head on in the future.