89

[REBECCA]
Artemy’s eyes widened, and he quickly shook his head. “No. Don’t-” But his flowing words were stopped by my finger pressed over his lips.
“No, listen to me, Artemy. Please, just let me get this out, okay?”
He sighed and gave me a sharp nod, his fingers digging into my hips. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I was angry and hurt, and I wanted you to hurt. I’m still angry and hurt from what you did, but I can’t hurt you. It torments me to think that you were in pain because of me.”
Artemy made a strangling sound. He brought his hand up his face and placed it over mine. I looked at his stunning face, my heart thumping at how beautiful he was, even when he looked so tired and forlorn.
“I get why you did it,” I continued. “I get why you thought I was the spy. It makes sense, so I don’t blame for you not trusting me before. These last two days, I kept thinking if it were possible that whatever we had was a lie. I was and still am scared.”
Rubbing my fingers over his lips and then tracing his nose, my fingers continued their way up under his eyes. “I can forgive you for that.”
I paused and then swallowed hard before uttering the next words. “But I don’t think I can forgive you so easily for what happened with Tiffany.”
Artemy opened his mouth, but I shushed him again. “Even if you didn’t have sex with her, you still touched her.” I choked on the last words.
The thought of Artemy touching another woman was gut-wrenching. I might have been lying too. I was keeping a big secret from Artemy, I was just as guilty, but I couldn’t accept the fact that Artemy had touched another woman.
“The thought of you touching another woman-the thought of you being with someone else so easily, it’s painful, Artemy. I don’t think I’ll get over that soon. I might forgive you for the rest, but it’ll take me time to forgive you for touching Tiffany.”
“Rebecca,” he whispered brokenly, his eyes filled with guilt. “I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t know the whole story. The only thing I know is that you touched her. I have my reasons why I don’t want you to explain,” I murmured, my fingers brushed over his eyebrows, my whole body tingling like it always did when I was touching him.
“Because if you explain now, I will doubt you and your intentions. My judgments will be clouded by my anger and hurt. And I don’t want to ever doubt you.”
I cupped his jaw again, and he leaned into my palm, nuzzling into my touch. I felt my heart crack and then slowly piece together at the show of affection.
Leaning forward, I placed a sweet kiss on the tip of his nose. I felt Artemy sighing almost contentedly.
“I have thought about this for so long. You have showed me so many times that you care, Artemy. You helped me, stood by me, and made me strong. You never gave up on me and never left me in the darkness, even when I was so stupidly stubborn. When I think about everything we’ve been through and everything you have done for me, I think I can forgive you. I will eventually forgive you.”
“And that’s all I need. I just need your forgiveness, Rebecca.” The words were spoken low and almost fiercely.
Giving him a tentative smile, I continued. “When it’s time for you to explain, I want to be ready to believe you. And for that I just need some time to get over this anger and stupid hurt that’s filling my heart right now.”
“How much time? How long do you need, Rebecca?” he asked, his eyes wide with caution, layers of desperation clouding his expression.
“Just a few days. That’s all I’m asking.”
After those words were spoken, we fell silent. I leaned my forehead against his, and we breathed. My hands went to the back of his neck, my nails softly dragging up and down the skin, just the way I knew he loved. He slowly started to relax, his tensed muscles loosening under my touch.
“Being away from you hurts, Rebecca. It’s painful.”
My eyes snapped open at his words, and I quickly blinked away my unshed tears. “I’m sorry.”
“But I don’t want you to be sorry,” he interrupted quickly. “You have every right to be angry and hurt. I fucked up bad. This mess we are in right now is my fault. So I understand. If I saw another man touching you, I would probably kill him without a second thought.”
At his words, I remembered the scene that took place yesterday, when Brayden had kissed me. Artemy had snapped and went ballistic at the sight of Brayden touching me.
“So I don’t blame you, Rebecca,” he said. “I’ll give you however much time you want. Just please don’t take too long. I don’t think I can wait for a long time.”
Artemy paused before confessing softly, his next words taking my breath away. “I need you.”
I need you too, I wanted to say.
“Okay,” I agreed before placing my head on his shoulder again. Artemy wrapped his arms around me, holding me close.
“Where will you sleep?” he suddenly broke the silence that we were both basking in.
“In my room. I don’t think I can sleep in our room without touching you. I can’t bear having any kind of distance between us,” I replied dejectedly, hating the thought of sleeping without him.
“I don’t think I can sleep in our room without you, either,” he confessed, his fingers tracing random patterns on the length of my bare arms.
Pushing my head up, I looked at Artemy, my gaze searching his in question. “Our room will stay empty until you are ready for me to explain. When you are ready, we’ll meet in our bedroom,” he explained, his bluish eyes holding me captive.
That sounded perfect. “Okay,” I agreed again. Artemy sent me a small smile and quickly gave me a peck on the lips.
I pressed my forehead against his and closed my eyes again, letting myself feel his arms around me. I let this moment make its way into my heart, holding it closely there. I absorbed his warmth for one last time, knowing that it was almost time for me to go.
After a few minutes, I leaned back and Artemy’s eyes turned sorrowful. “I have to go now,” I whispered.
Artemy nodded, and I slowly got off his lap. His arms fell to his lap, and a shuddered breath left his body, an agonizing expression passing over his face.
Giving him a final glance, I turned to walk away, but a hold on my wrist stopped me. Looking down, I saw that Artemy’s hand banded my wrist, refusing to let me go. I faced him again, and he stared up at him, his eyes glistening in the light.
“Don’t take too long,” he ordered gruffly in an authoritative way that made my toes curl. His voice was hard, demanding, and held a clear warning.
I couldn’t help but smile before nodding.
He still didn’t let go of me. So, this time, I answered verbally. “Okay.”
When he was satisfied with my spoken answer, his fingers unwrapped around my wrist as he let me go.
I walked backward a couple of steps before turning around and leaving.
Entering my room, I closed the door and got straight in bed. After taking my sleeping pill, I burrowed deep under the soft comforter and closed my eyes.
But sleep didn’t come as fast as I expected.
Instead, all I could think about was Artemy.
My body was tingling and warm under the comforter. Even though Artemy wasn’t holding me any longer, I still felt him on my skin. It was as if he branded me, letting me know that I was his.
And there was no denying it.
I was his.