Monica’s POV
THE NEXT MORNING
“Honey please take a bite. You have to eat something please” Nicholas begged, holding the spoon close to my mouth but I turned my face away.
I wasn’t ready to eat. I didn’t want to eat. I had no appetite. Yesterday’s news killed every last hope I had to survive and defeat this tumor in my brain.
I didn’t sleep in the same room as Nicholas yesterday because I was still hurt by the decision he made. He should have told me and not kept it a secret.
Marriage with secrets can bring distrust and I don’t want to have any reason not to trust him. I thought everything was finally going to fall into place but I was wrong, very wrong.
“Where are you going, honey?” Nicholas asked, worry etched on his face.
“I’m going back to bed”
“But you just got out of bed not too long ago,” he said but I just ignored him.
I didn’t have the strength to talk. My eyes were hurting and they were swollen also. I cried myself to bed yesterday and all I wanted right now was to just sleep.
I don’t want to think. I don’t want to eat. I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to see anyone but I just want to sleep and forget my life for some minutes. I went right back to my room and snuggled under my blanket.
“How long do you intend to keep punishing yourself like that honey? You’re behaving like a lifeless with no hope” he said, concern laced in his words
“I have no hope, Nicholas. There isn’t any hope left for me” I said.
“Don’t say that. You know very well that is not true. This is hope for you to leave” he said, implying that I take the surgery and this pisses me off
I clearly stated that the surgery was a no-no-no but he kept on talking about it “Get out of my room Nicholas” I ordered sternly.
“What!” He exclaimed, staring at me in shock. “Do you mean that?” He asked
“Get out and shut the door behind you. I want to rest” I said, turning my back to him and looking at the winding in the room.
The slight noise from the door indicated Nicholas and already left so I just turned around and lay on my back, staring at the wall and ceiling from the bed.
I turned and turned on the bed unable to sleep. My mind is in chaos. What has life given me permanently? He gave me a good father but he took him away from me at a young age.
Life gave me a mother who abandoned me. Life gave me a bad marriage with Ethan that I wouldn’t wish for any woman to find herself in. Life gave me Mia who betrayed me and is still stuck in betraying me.
Finally, Life gave me Mason, Macy, and Nicholas but now, life wants to take me away from them so I ask again, what had life given me except a tumor
I chuckled as this thought filled my head. If I was asked what I was grateful for, I don’t think there’s anything to be grateful for. I couldn’t even cry anymore because I had no liquid in my eyes anymore for tears.
“There’s a call for you,” Nicholas said, his head tucked through the door as he opened it halfway.
“I don’t want to talk to anyone” I replied and lay back on the bed.
“Monica Sweetie, how are you doing?” I instantly sat up when I heard Mom’s voice.
“Mom?” I asked, looking at Nicholas who just walked to where I was and placed his laptop in my thigh. “Mom,” I said again, faking a smile as I saw Mom, Aunt Ella, Uncle Karl, Anthony, and Fiona.
I glared at Nicholas from the corner of my eyes for not telling me it was a video call.
“Sweetie, what is it that we are hearing from Nicholas? Why don’t you want to eat anything?” my mother asked through the call, staring at me with concern in her eyes.
“I’m fine Mum and I’ve eaten already” I lied, faking a smile as I stared back at them as they sat on the couch staring back at me with sad eyes.
“We know you’re lying dear. Is this because of what Nicholas kept from you? He also stated that you’ve made a decision not to proceed with the surgery. Is that true?” Uncle Karl asked, his words steady but somehow slow.
I went mute, not saying anything but just staring at them sadly.
“I know I wasn’t there for you but I’m ready to be the mother you never had and that will also be possible if you take the surgery, sweetie. I don’t want to lose you” my mom said, tears streaming down her face.
That made all the water in my eyes begin to fall from my eyes too. The tears that I thought were finally tired of falling began rolling themselves down my cheeks and I had no strength to wipe them off.
“I know we aren’t very close but I’m close to Nicholas and I can say that you’ve changed that cold and distant man. You were a light to his life and as his light, if you go away, Nicholas will never be himself” uncle Karl said then just went silent for a moment before he continued again.
“I know Nicholas very well. He will shut himself out from everyone and will go back to being cold and distant so please sweetie, take the surgery and give Nicholas more chances to be happy in the Future with you”
Uncle Karl said, a small smile across his lips as he stood up from the couch and left the others.
On the screen was only Anthony, Fiona with her baby then Aunt Ella. Auntie Ella adjusted the screen so the camera would be solely on her.
“My love,” she said and I laughed slightly, sniffing and trying hard for more tears not to spill.