Chapter 118: The cabin
Alexander’s POV
I held my breath watching her, wanting to crawl under the earth with how vulnerable I feel. There we go, it’s out there now, she knows it and there’s no going back now. I hope this doesn’t make things worse.
“What do you say?”. I asked again my anxiety skyrocketing.
The longer she stayed quiet the longer it felt like my lungs were constructing themselves. Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I tried to stay as still and calm as possible, but it wasn’t working. My heart was sinking further and further with each second. I knew I shouldn’t have said all that or at least not vomited all my thoughts about her.
Maybe I should have just said only the surface of things. Like, you’re beautiful and I like you face. Your voice makes me happy.
Fuck this was exactly what I was afraid of!.
My crippling fear only grows further when Lily pulls away and stared at me with a scowl. “I’m leaving.” She said in a cold tone and walked out of the restaurant.
I just wished I could be swallowed by that big fish that swallowed Jonah but this time, he shouldn’t vomit me after three days. He should just let me die there. The rejection was crushing me.
But I couldn’t just let her go, not again. No matter how embarrassed I felt now, it wouldn’t be compared to losing her forever. I was ready to take whatever she would throw at me, do whatever to have her in my life forever. I would go to any lengths, even if I am called a fool, I don’t mind. I would be a fool for her.
“Lily wait!.” I called out running after her. I pushed through the doors to find her struggling to walk past the reporters.
Light flashed hit my eyes and the reporters crowded me with microphones and cameras. ‘Are you guys back together?.’
‘Why did your wife run off’.
‘What did you do to her?.’
‘Does this mean you’re getting a divorce?’.
“Lily!”. I called out again, ignoring them. Whether we were going to okay or not did not concern these reporters m. They honestly did not have a care in the world. They just wanted another new hot topic. That was it. I had to whatever I could for my happiness. She was my happiness.
“Please listen to me.” I said as I grabbed her hand tightly and pulled her to a stop. We were standing in the quiet of the parking lot under the bright moon.
“Di..”. She was caught off by some reporters running towards our direction.
‘Over there!.” They said running towards us.
“Come!.” I said grabbing her and moving quickly towards my car. She obliged immediately following behind me.
She sighed in relief when we had successfully escaped the media and settled in my car.
The tension in the atmosphere heightened as we sat in the quiet car and in such close proximity. Her scent filled the air and it was messing with my ability to think or act like a reasonable man. This was one of the many reasons I couldn’t let her go, not without a fight. She meant to much to me, she has absolute control over me. Who did she think she would leave me to?. I would be completely useless without her.
I watched as she pulled her hair out of her face and stared at her legs like she was drilling holes into them. She ran her hands up and down her thighs and twisted him conservatively, like she was trying to push away a millions thoughts at the same time.
She looked at me with her brows knitted firmly, glancing her eyes over my figure like she was trying to make sense of me before she speaks. “Drive!.” She ordered.
“Sorry?”. I asked looking around In panic.
“Take me to somewhere private.” She clarified without looking at me.
“Okay.” I responded quietly without questioning her.
Perhaps she wasn’t comfortable talking here with the potential interruption from the media, luckily I had prepared a small cabin for us to spend some time for if she accepted me into her life. I guess we were going to make use of it now.
I sighed and stepped on the brakes, towards the cabin. The ride was eerily quiet and she never for once glanced at me. She kept her eyes trained on the window, preferring to look at the empty city then me. The thought of that crushed my heart but perhaps I deserved it.
“We’re here.” I said softly as I pulled into the driveway.
She responded with a nod and didn’t wait for me to get door.
I stood back to watch her reaction to what I did to the place. I myself admired my handiwork, I hope she would also like it. I had spent hours transforming this cozy retreat into a romantic haven, just for her.
Soft golden light spilled from the lanterns I’d placed on the porch, casting a warm glow over the rustic wooden beams. The scent of fresh pine and woodsmoke wafted through the air, carried by the gentle breeze rustling the leaves outside.
She just looked around and turned to me with a cold look. “Are we going in or not.” She snapped.
“Of course.” I rushed out guiding her to the door. I guess that was enough proof that she didn’t like it or perhaps she was still upset. Whichever it was I wasn’t sure, but I knew she wasn’t pleased.
As we stepped into the cabin, it was aglow with candlelight, casting flickering shadows on the walls. I’d arranged a bouquet of her favorite roses, wildflowers, sunflowers and daisies, on the wooden coffee table, their bright petals mirroring her beautiful smile.
The fireplace crackled, casting a warm ambiance over the room. I’d stocked the fireplace with logs, ready to be lit for a cozy night in. Our blankets were draped over the plush couch, inviting snuggles and lazy mornings.
In the kitchen, a chilled bottle of wine waited, alongside a basket of her favorite snacks, strawberries, cheese, and crackers. I’d even baked her favorite chocolate chip cookies, the aroma still lingering in the air. I had done all these for her.
I turned to her with a beaming smile on her face but my smile was swept off my face when I saw the quick transition from surprise to a scowl. “Where’s the bedroom?.” She snapped eyeing me.
“This way”. I guided her quietly to the room. I guess that too wasn’t pleasing to her. Maybe I should done something else or I should have gotten something better. Maybe these things were no longer hee favorite things.
How could I know, when I had been away from her for so long. Fuck!, I was so stupid.
Upstairs, the loft bedroom beckoned, its plush bed adorned with rose petals and soft, fluffy pillows. The moonlight above allowed stargazing on clear nights, and I’d set up a telescope for us to explore the constellations together.
Every detail was carefully thought out, every touch designed to make this period of time spent here unforgettable.
I looked at her again to find her staring at me this time. I suddenly became nervous and self conscious with the way he eyes were sweeping over me.
She walked slowly towards me with her eyes locked in mine. “Did you really mean all of that?.”
“W…what?.” I asked trying to understand her words. I couldn’t breathe or think properly when she was so close.
“Did you mean all those things you said.?.” She asked again.
I took a step back. “Uh.., yes it depends .” I said with hesitation.
She took another step and closed the gap i created. I wonder why I was feeling so nervous and afraid. It was ironical that me who stood tall, way above her was feeling this way when she had to raise her head to meet my eyes.
She frowned at me. “Depends on what?”.
I looked down at my shoes trying to sound as confident as I am, but I’m sure I sounded as insecure as I was. “If you liked what I said or not?”.
“So what if I didn’t like it?”. She asked slowly, taking a step towards me again. I suck in a deep breath and took a step back again at the feel of my stomach twisting.
“Then I don’t know, maybe I lied through my teeth and we can pretend I never said anything”. I shrugged my shoulder trying to ignore the sharp sting in my chest at the thought.
She paused and took another step towards me. “And if I did?.”
I balled my fists threatening to break them with how overwhelmed and self conscious I was feeling. “Then I meant every single word.”
She took another step towards me again and I moved back again trying to avoid her intense stare. “You know what?”. I said again. “Regardless of whether you like it or not, I meant it. I’m done hiding away from my feelings. I’m going to fight for your love.” I said in one breath.
She took another step again and when I was about to take another step, I felt myself landing on the soft bed. “Lily!, what the hell?.” I yelled staring at her fixed expression.
She doesn’t respond which only skyrockets my looming anxiety lodged in my throat. “What are you..”
“Stop talking!”. She cuts me off and I clamp my mouth shut, staring at her with wide eyes.
Was she upset?, was she angry?, was she about to reject my dumb ass?.
Abruptly she pushed me on the bed, not giving me time to think before she crawled on top of me.
She rested herself on my thighs and placed her elbows on the bed, relaxing her weight. She stared at me to intensely and I wished the bed was made of Egypt sand so I could just sink in it.
Her eyes searched over my shocked face like she was trying to decipher a secret code in her mind that I had no idea about.
She looked so furious, I would give anything to know what she was thinking about now, because after everything I just told her, it felt like I had laid my soul bare in front of her and she was locked behind another door.
The look on her face grew more intense as she darted her eyes over my face like she was trying to piece together a puzzle, one that I still had no clue about.
“I don’t understand you.” She said sounding confused and I tried to think to of how to respond but she continued before I got the chance.
“I don’t understand what you say you feel for me”.
She shook her head in disbelief. “You foolish , foolish boy!”.
Wow, she didn’t have to go that way. A simple rejection would have done the trick.
I frowned at her, wondering why she had to throw me to the bed to insult me. “I just love you Lily, I…”
“No talking unless I ask you question!.” She snapped and my mouth smacks shut again.
There was something different about her. Her confidence, her aura, the way she acted in control. I wouldn’t lie and say and I wasn’t turned in despite the situation I was in.
My breathing picked up when she slides one of her arms down my hand and pinned them next to my head. I could have easily removed my hands but I didn’t.
I was curious to see where this was going…