Monica POV
AT NOON
I waited patiently outside for Nicholas to get back from work because he called that he was coming. These days, he spends more time at his workplace than at home. He rarely sleeps and is always on his laptop.
He has been like this since he found out about my illness and is always on one call or the other. He eats very little of his food and most times, doesn’t eat at all.
I can’t help but get worried over the fact that he was stressing himself. I feared that one day, he could collapse and be rushed to the hospital.
“Honey, why are you outside?” I heard Nicholas’s voice beside me, jolting me out of my thoughts as he placed a kiss on my cheeks.
I closed closely at him and noticed some dark circles in his eyes. I raised my hands and placed my both hands on each side of his cheeks, cupping his face “You don’t look good honey. You need lots of rest”
“I’m fine,” he said, faking a smile that barely reached his eyes.
“You’re not. Your eyes says it all. Did you eat something today?” I asked and his silence gave me the answer I expected.
“There were lots of work to do and I forgot about eating. It escaped me” he said, defending himself.
I held his hands and dragged him inside the house. “Let’s eat”
“Let’s eat?” He said, staring at me in shock “Honey I can’t. I have a lot to do and I have to finish them today”
“I haven’t eaten lunch honey and if you aren’t going to eat anything, then I won’t eat anything either,” I said, folding my hands on my chest and looking away from him.
“Why haven’t you eaten anything? You have to eat something, honey. Starving isn’t good honey” he said, worry etched on his face.
“I will eat something if you eat something,” I said, staring at him with a serious gaze.
“But I’m not hungry and_”
“Fine let’s go upstate then,” I said, cutting him short and taking the stairs but I felt a grip on my wrist which made me stop in my tracks.
“Fine. Let’s eat” he said, and I turned around and walked behind him as we both went to the dining.
Nicholas sat down and I sat beside him. I carefully watched him as he ate and when he was on the fifth spoon, he gulped a full glass of water and rose to his feet “I’ll see you upstairs”
“Where are you going?” I asked, rising to my feet too.
“I’m going to my study,” he said and I abruptly dropped my spoon
“Let’s go together” I suggested and he suddenly paused in his tracks.
“No no no you haven’t finished your food first,” he said, holding me by the wrist and dragging me back to the dining
“Same goes for you. Finish your food and do whatever you want” I said
“What!” He exclaimed in shock then shifted his gaze to the spaghetti on his plate “That’s too much honey. I can’t eat all of that? If I do, I would feel lazy and I wouldn’t be able to continue my work” he said grumbling
“Then I won’t eat honey. If you don’t finish your food, I won’t finish mine and if you don’t eat, I won’t eat” I said, ready to make sure Nicholas ate his food.
I knew he was going to take a few bites and zoom off so I prepared myself for this. He was as worried for me as I was for him. I can’t watch my husband suffer from malnutrition.
“Fine,” he said, a frown on his forehead as he dragged his dining chair out forcefully and sat on it.
“Thank you for how far you are going for me,” I said, genuinely glad that Nicholas was trying to help with my illness.
I knew he was making all those night calls and always on his laptop because of me. He was on his laptop day and night and I wish for nothing more than for his labor to not be in vain but deep down in my heart, I knew things weren’t going to go his way.
“You’re my wife and responsibility, the mother of my kids, and the only family I have now so if I don’t go this far to keep you alive, wouldn’t that make me a bad husband?” He said, playing with my hair while I lay my head on his chest.
“No matter what happens honey, I want you to be happy,” I said sadly.
“Nothing bad is going to happen honey so stop sounding like someone who is giving a farewell speech” he uttered coldly but that didn’t stop me from speaking further.
“If things don’t go your way, I want you to be strong for our kids. I want you to be happy and live a good and healthy life. Always eat before going to work and never forget to have dinner” I said and he stared at me, fear evident in his eyes.
“Don’t speak like this honey. Have a little faith that things will go as planned” he said, his dull blue eyes void of happiness.
“I have just a week and a few days left honey. At this point, we all know what’s going to happen” I said then remembered what I did today and hesitated about telling Nicholas
While I was cooking his lunch, l forgot the empty pan on the gas cooker, and the whole house was filled with smoke.
The worst part of the whole experience is that while smoke filled the whole house, I didn’t perceive anything and that only showed that my illness wasn’t getting better. I forgot to put off the gas and that was something I never forget but I forgot.
If it wasn’t for Patricia who rushed to the kitchen in time, I still wouldn’t have realized that I left an empty pan on the gas cooker.
“Do you believe in miracles?” Nicholas asked and I stared at him amusingly.
The fact that Nicholas still had hope about my chance at survival was something worth imitating but the signs of the illness getting worse were too obvious to be overlooked.
“Do miracles still exist?” I asked, sadness engulfing every part of my body.