Dimitri’s POV
I woke with a start, my heart pounding in my chest. I was drenched in a cold sweat, my hands gripped the sheets so tightly they had torn, the fabric shredded under my claws.
My breath came in ragged gasps, and it took me a moment to realize where I was- lying in bed, Kate’s warm body nestled against mine. But even the comfort of her presence wasn’t enough to chase away the horror of what I’d just seen.
I could still see it, feel it as much as I felt the sheets over my skin- the image of Kate lying beneath me, her eyes wide with terror as I loomed over her, my teeth bared, ready to tear into her flesh. I could still feel the taste of blood on my tongue, see the torn flesh and shattered bones of my prey- except it wasn’t just any prey. It was Kate. The sight of her lifeless body beneath me, her eyes wide with shock and pain, was burned into my mind.
My heart twisted painfully at the memory, the fear in her eyes had been real, had shaken me to my core, even now that I was awake that fear lingered, making me feel sick to my stomach.
My wolf had snarled in triumph as I lunged, just as I had woken up.
All my life I had been relatively fearless of anything around me, I was an alpha so there was nothing to fear.
But then Kate had come into my life and I had never feared anything as much as I feared losing Kate.
But this… this was different. This wasn’t just about losing her. This was about destroying her with my own hands.
The room was dark, the only light coming from the faint glow of the moon filtering through the curtains. Kate was beside me, her breathing slow and steady, completely unaware of the battle I was fighting deep within me . I looked at her, my heart clenching with guilt and fear. How could I even think of hurting her, let alone dream about it?
Panic rose in me like an anchor pulling from the sea, heavy and slow, I swallowed hard, trying to steady my breathing, it felt like there was a vise around my chest, squeezing tighter until breathing was an impossibility.
I had to get out of bed, away from her, before I lost it completely.
I slid out of bed as quietly as I could, careful not to wake her and she stirred slightly, mumbling something in her sleep, but didn’t wake. I watched her for a moment, my heart aching with a mixture of love and fear. She looked so peaceful.
I was a monster
My body was still trembling, my muscles coiled with the need to move, to escape the nightmare that clung to me like tar.
I needed air, and space to clear my head, to remind myself that it was just a dream, nothing more.
Carefully, I eased myself out from under the blankets, making sure not to wake her. She lay there completely unaware.
I slipped out of the room, closing the door softly behind me.
It was mostly silent, the only sound were the faint rustling of leaves outside as a gentle breeze passed through the trees. The night air was cool against my skin as I stepped out onto the porch, I ran a hand through my hair, trying to calm down the storm in me.
I had been loosing control recently, the curse on my Lycan form had a been a part of me for quite some time, it was something I had learned to live with, something I had struggled to control.
But lately, it had been getting harder and harder to keep it in check, I had noticed it during our sparring session and the many more I had with the beta’s in the pack.
I had no time for this, despite the fact that we had managed to get rid of the sorcerer it didn’t mean pack life had become idyllic.
In the last month the pack had been under pressure, with rival werewolves encroaching on our lands and testing our defenses.
And every time I faced these threat, I could feel the beast inside me clawing to get out, desperate for blood.
Kate was the only thing that kept me grounded. But it seemed even she couldn’t keep the darkness at bay forever. I was terrified that one day, I would lose control completely, and this dream would become a reality.
I couldn’t let that happen. I had to find a way to stop it a permanent solution to my condition. I had tried everything I could think of- meditation, training, even rituals meant to suppress curses- but nothing had worked.
If anything, the beast was growing stronger, more determined to break free.
I clenched my fists, in frustration. I needed help, but I didn’t know where to turn.
My pack looked to me for strength, for guidance, and I couldn’t show them how close I was to losing it and Kate… Kate was too perceptive. She would know something was wrong if I didn’t keep it together, I was worried she was already suspicious.
I couldn’t keep relying on her to save me from myself. It wasn’t fair to her, and it wasn’t sustainable. I needed to find a permanent solution, before I hurt her-or worse.
Without allowing myself another thought, I shifted into my wolf form, jumping off the porch into the air, my bones cracking and reshaping.
I touched the cold grassy ground with my paws stretching out so my bones cracked , it was dangerous but the forest called to me, the cool night air filling my lungs as I took off into the trees, the wind rushing past me as I ran. This was where I felt most at home, where I could lose myself in the rhythm of my paws pounding against the earth, the scent of the forest filling my senses.
Running helped. It gave me a sense of freedom, of release, that I couldn’t find anywhere else. But it was also not totally safe because the control, could easily snap when the beast inside me was got tired of being quiet for too long.
But even as I ran, letting Drey push forward instead the dream lingered in the back of my mind, a constant bone of contention.
The curse was growing stronger, and I knew that it was only a matter of time before it took over completely.
I couldn’t let that happen. I had to find a way to stop it, to protect Kate, to protect the pack. But I didn’t know how. And that was the part that scared me the most-the not knowing, as well as the feeling of helplessness that came with it.
I pushed myself harder, my paws tearing into the earth as I raced through the trees.
I slowed to a stop, at the river lapping at the cool water for a while and catching my breath that poured in ragged pants.
I shifted back into my human form, the cool night air chilling my skin as I stood there, staring up at the stars. They were beautiful, so distant and untouchable, and for a moment, I felt a pang of envy.
They didn’t have to worry about curses or prophecies or the weight of responsibility that came with being an Alpha, they were free, untethered by the troubles of the world below in fact they likely ruled above it.
I let out a long breath, my breath visible in the cool air and with one final glance at the stars, I turned and began the long walk back to the house.
When I finally made it back to the pack house, the first light of dawn was just beginning to peek over the mountains casting soft shadows over them.
It would soon be morning and then we would wake to begin the process of caring for the pack right away of rebuilding and protecting our territory.
The house was still quiet when. I got back, Kate still asleep in our bed. I stood in the doorway for a moment, watching her, the fear from earlier all but a tiny speck.
Carefully, I slipped back into bed, wrapping my arms around her, pulling her close. She stirred slightly, a contented sigh escaping her lips as she snuggled into my chest.
“You’re cold” she mumbled snuggling in deeper into me
” I’m sorry ” I mumbled
“You’re up early,” she continued her voice thick with sleep.
“Just couldn’t sleep,” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady.
” Another nightmare?” she asked and I pressed a kiss to her forehead
“Go back to sleep. It’s still early.”
She murmured something in agreement, already drifting off again. But even as she slept, her presence grounded me.
I wasn’t sure when but soon I was fast asleep , I woke up later in the morning than I was used to a sharp knock on my door.
I forced myself to push the nightmare aside, and to focus on the task at hand, I rose from bed hurrying to answer the door so it didn’t wake her
” Alpha” beta Ryan said coming to meet me
Beta Ryan was the one that stepped in, in place of Louis.
Since we lost Diana everything had not been the same with Louis, he had locked himself away from the entire pack, and everyone felt his absence.
I understand him and I didn’t try to stop him, because he had helped me through my healing when I lost my first mate including giving me space while he handles everything for me.
” There was another attack again ” I sighed rising from my desk
” Who ”
” The Eildin pack” he muttered and I groaned.
There were an inconsequential pack but I couldn’t be too forceful because they had pups.
This was becoming a growing problem, one that I couldn’t afford to ignore, even with everything else going on.
” Send more men for patrols there, I want these men caught. An example must be made” I muttered and Ryan nodded immediately
” Yes alpha”
I spent the day organizing patrols, ensuring that our borders were secure. The pack was on high alert, everyone aware of the danger that lurked just beyond our lands. But even as I went through the motions, it was all a distraction, a way to avoid facing the real problem.
I was exhausted, but I needed to move, so I went to the training grounds, hoping that physical exertion would tire me enough without need for dreams. I went through the motions, practicing drills, sparring with anyone who was willing to take me on.
“Training without me, are you?” Kate teased as she walked into the arena, but there was an edge to her voice, a hint of suspicion.
“Just trying to stay sharp,” I replied, trying to keep my tone light.
But she saw right through it, like she always did.
“You don’t have to carry it alone, you know,” she said softly, as if reading my thoughts.
“Whatever it is, we’ll face it together. That’s what mates are for.”
” Well I still don’t want to worry you” I muttered and she smiled
“I’m your mate,” she said
“Worrying about you comes with the territory. But you don’t have to face it alone. Let me help you.”
I nodded even though I was not sure if I could do it but she didn’t push just pulled away and sighed
” I believe you owe me a rematch”