I watch Zero’s eyes glaze with ownership like I’m his possession and I feel a stir of something planted deep within me.
Staring into his depths I know that I want to be his, I want to be owned by a hero just one time, but just like that I’m reminded that I am someone else’s possession, a beautiful monster, who will never let me go.
He will always search for me; he will always find me.
“Tu sei mia mendicante.” You are mine beggar.
Those were the last words he whispered to me, two years ago, the last time he found me.
The thought should scare me, should leave me in fear but I find myself resigned.
I had 5 years to accept my fate. 5 years to accept my chains.
I hide my turmoil as I stare into this man’s harsh face, this man that keeps the monster away.
By doing that I also hide my fate but I’m determined to live in this moment, for once I just want to live in this moment. Can’t I just have that?
“You gonna jump on the back of my bike, gotta meet my dad woman.”
I’m taken back by that and the serious look in his eyes.
I drop my hands from his neck and cross them over my chest.
“That doesn’t sound like a question Logan.”
He smiles at the mention of his name and I fight my own.
“Wasn’t asking you a question woman, just thinking out loud.”
I shrug, holding in my laugh, “You gonna call me Beggar?”
He’s silent for a moment and I pay attention to the curve of his strong jaw and not his eyes.
So, I’m startled when he throws his head back and laughs.
“Nice try.” He smacks my ass, and the sound resonates through me as my body comes aflame.
He sees it, he feels it and does it again on the same ass cheek.
My pussy clenches and I grip his rough face in my palms, my mouth going to his.
The knock on the door stops me. I go to wiggle off him, but the bastard smacks me again.
“Don’t you dare move, we not done.”
“You want them to check you with the low life,” I tug on his earlobe.
He arches his brow, “If you talking ’bout the one with her ass in my hands, hell yeah. Come in Knight.”
The door opens, and I don’t move as Spade and Knight come walking in like they own the place. They’re both take in our position which is obvious and maybe if I weren’t me, I’d be embarrassed or some shit, but again I’m not. So, I stare at the men, first at Knight’s confused frown, who is the Sergeant-at-arms for The Satan Snipers, then at Spade’s haunted powder blues that are on me.
It’s clear that something is going on with the club.
I picked up on it this morning. This is just confirming my suspicion.
“Falon is looking for you man she’s at the stables, says she needs a ride to Barfa, and Beggar your shifts on in twenty. Also got brothers coming in from Houston, Mercy is coming with a few others from Sugar land, gotta set beds up,” Spade says before he storms out.
I’m confused at Spade’s need to flee. I stare at Zero, his eyes watch the man, remorseful at his brother’s retreating form.
Knight however sits on the bed behind me.
“This really breaks my heart Beggar, I really thought I was getting in there any day now.”
I turn my head to the Italian biker. Knight is a charming male, a true Italian, a lady’s man.
My hands leave Zero’s neck, his stay firmly on my ass, a sign of possession. If only.
I see the playful glint on the Sergeant-at-arms and maybe it’s because I’m in a compromised position, or maybe it’s because I just kissed Zero, and he practically claimed me in front of his brothers but I reciprocate.
My voice drops with my eyes as I stare intently at Knight, trapping him in my black soul, “And where exactly is there, Cavaliere.”
The word rolls off my tongue easily. Knight is shocked and quietens as I watch him, waiting.
“Sei Italiano.”
I drop my gaze at his statement, there’s no way I can answer that. I should’ve kept my mouth shut, stupid me.
I didn’t think one word is a big deal.
Zero clears his throat and I face him.
“Are you? Italian.”
“No, I just know a few words is all.”
Zero let’s go of me, and I scoot over mindful Knight is behind me, careful not to touch him.
“Why are you lying?” Zero accuses in a soft voice as his feet go to the carpeted floor.
“How do you know I’m lying, where’s the proof?” I say but avoid his gaze.
I could lie to his face, it’s easy, but I don’t want to answer this question. I don’t want to lie either but I’m backed in a corner.
My guard rises and my defences grow with every second.
I can’t reveal things about myself without revealing the very things that could get me found.
“Le Donne italiane non imploro.” Italian woman don’t beg.
I pretend I don’t understand, I pretend I’m clueless about what Knight is promising in his words. And it’s not that he will look after me.
“Keep Fal busy for me. I’ll be down in a minute.” With those parting words from the Enforcer, Knight leaves and Zero and I are alone.
“Look at me Beauty.” I want to disobey him, I want to push him away but I can’t, and I find myself lifting my chin up to face the Enforcer’s blank, unreadable features.
“I don’t mind you keeping stuff to yourself, but there’s some stuff you gotta tell me. I’m not saying tell everyone. I’m saying you gotta tell me. No matter what we feel, how strong it is, we won’t work if you keep lying, that shit doesn’t work with me Beauty, I can’t trust easily, I won’t.” He doesn’t realize that he is touching the scar under his eye when he says those words, but I see it.
Something dark steals his sweetness steals the man that held me, hostage, outside. Something dark takes away the man that just kissed me like I was his. And for a moment I am taken back to a memory of someone, but I can’t get a face.
My survivor instincts kick in at the hard set of his jaw and the unreadable penetrating gaze of his eyes.
I should question his sudden change of mind or his ultimatum but I don’t. I’m used to this, the worst kind of bad luck. I have experienced it many times before. My monster stole my soul and replaced it with chains, but he also made me stronger.
He shredded my pride and taught me to expect the worse.
“Don’t believe in hope Beggar, you’ll always be disappointed.” His words ring true again.
I wanted a few moments to pretend and I got it.
Now I have to let it go.
So, it isn’t hard when I smile at the biker.
Staring him dead in the eyes, I tell him,
“We all lie, but It’s the reason we do it which counts. I’ll give you one truth, just one, but you can’t ask me my name.”
“Will I ever be able to trust you?” His question rolls off his tongue and out of his mouth without thinking.
I get up from the bed, my hair falling around my shoulders, down to my waist.
“That’s a question only you and time will know the answer to Zero.”
I move toward the door and pause.
My back to the Enforcer.
“Thank you for that kiss but I cannot be your woman Zero, because the same monster I run from is the only one who’ll ever own me.”
“I’ll kill him.” He replies with so much hatred and promises that another woman would’ve believed him but hope is a fool’s courage.
I spin around, my smile weak.
“My fate was sealed years ago Zero, killing him won’t save me.”
I walk out the door of my room and down the steps knowing that I did the right thing.
It’s for his own safety, for my last shred of humanity. I can’t be saved and I can’t let myself get hurt either, I won’t.
Zero’s moods and issues run deep. I didn’t get on Storm’s bike to find a man.
I got on his bike to run from one. Stupid girl.
I make my way to the bar, passing the noisy bikers in the t. v. room,
“Yo Beggar, get me a beer will you sweet thang,” Texas says as I pass him.
“You want one too Bull?” I ask the big biker sitting quietly on the corner sofa nursing a glass of Amber liquid.
He’s the shortest one from all the men but has the biggest muscles. His hair is tied back today making his half Mexican blood stand out.
When he leaves his hair open which is most of the time, the guy is opposing. He is the one I’ve spoken too least and when we do it’s clipped and terse.
He hates me for some reason but I still find myself checking up on him. It’s a no brainer that he has dark demons lurking in his head, like me.
He grunts his reply as I turn the corner to the bar.
Chadley is drying the glasses and placing them on one of the four empty trays sitting on top of the counter. She sees me and gives me a nod in greeting as I grab the beers out of the silver double door fridge.
“Do you know when Storm and Aron are coming back?” I’ve come to know the girl, she’s quiet mostly but always seems to know stuff.
“They got back a few minutes ago. Killer left a phone for you, said to tell you he’s on speed dial one.” She points to the black device on the counter next to where she’s standing.
I take the phone and slip it in my pocket.
My eyes widen as I catch the thin strap blue tank she’s wearing.
My mouth falls open at the denim shorts that show her ass cheeks for all eyes to see and hands to touch. She notices my ogling but doesn’t comment or say anything as she continues with her task.
I look behind me and see the stacks of alcohol packed neatly on to the redwood shelves mounted on the rock styled wall and grab the beer opener hanging from the hook.
Wisp joins us and I’m surprised she is dressed in long jeans and a vest instead of the next to nothing I’m used to seeing her wearing.
“Someone wants to get spanked tonight,” Wisp says in a sing-song voice, as she walks by us and smacks Chadley playfully on the ass.
She doesn’t greet me but I don’t care. The girl can’t stand me, plain as day.
When Venus or one of the men are around, she tends to say a few words to me for their sake.
But now, with Chadley as the only eyes besides the two of us, there is no false Wisp. What she hopes to do has the opposite effect on me because I prefer the bitchy, but real Wisp any day over the false one.
I take the beer to the two men watching sports and It isn’t long that I join in with Chadley getting the bar ready for the mother chapter.