My attention is on Zero’s many back muscles as they ripple and flex under my scrutiny.
Can he feel my eyes on his skin?
I admire the tattoo taking up most of his back, it’s similar to Storms.
It’s a pair of evil snake eyes in red, with a green and yellow snake wrapped around the pistol facing the red eyes of the evil snake. The words The Satan Sniper’s Motorcycle Club are written under the pistol.
But what has me at a standstill is the shading that’s done around the entire picture, it’s a light shading but unmistakable.
It’s wings, Angel wings.
I don’t say anything.
I want to but I’m tongue tied. I scan his back and stop at the blue bruises around his sides.
Killer did a number on him and I’m not sure how to feel about that.
I mimic his earlier expression and sigh as I pick up the ointment off the nightstand.
I pour the cold gel straight on his back.
He doesn’t move a muscle when it drops in the center of his indented spine.
Taking a deep breath, I rub my hands together then place them on his hot skin.
My fingers glide to the side of his hardened flesh where the bruises are. Up and down I rub the wounded flesh.
The smell of the menthol rub fills the air and I pour more gel and get bolder.
My fingers start to go over his battle scars, because that’s what they are.
Zero is a soldier,
a hero.
His healed wounds are a myriad of memories, a reminder of what he endured for his country, for millions of people.
My scars are for one, just one.
My fingers dig in when I feel a knot on his lower spine.
I close my hand into a tight fist then work his muscles with my knuckles losing myself in the process.
My mother taught me how to massage.
She was good at it, and insisted I learnt at least one thing from her.
Time goes and my hands are red from over usage.
It could be an hour or more I’m not sure.
I’m just lost in the feel of his now heated skin under my fingers and knuckles and the human contact I’ve allowed myself.
I don’t think of anything but my knuckles digging in this man’s flesh.
I should’ve paid more attention. The stiff posture of his shoulders, the heat coming from his skin. I should’ve understood the charge in the air but I didn’t.
My hands are on his back, I’m putting my all into this massage.
His body spins so fast I have no time to react before I find myself under him.
The bed barely bounces, then he’s looming over me, his one hand has my wrist in an unyielding grip.
His eyes are filled with carnality.
His nostrils flare like a raging bull and I gulp as my heart jackhammers inside my chest. My eyes like saucers.
I’m a deer trapped under a starved beast. His thick thighs wedge in between my thin ones, showing me his power over me.
He wants me to understand it, to know without a doubt that when it comes to him, I’m defenseless.
He leaves me no second to protest or act out, he just bends down and his mouth is over mine.
I’ve kissed three guys my whole life and that was when I was barely sixteen. And this is nothing like that.
There’s no hesitance or uncertainty that I wouldn’t want it.
No, Zero’s tongue is demanding for entry.
His lips are firm, hard and taste like beer. I open my mouth to, I don’t know, but he takes that as an in, and then I’m lost in a haze.
I kiss him back, my lips moving in-sync to his, a fast-paced dance.
We kissing, actually kissing I tell myself.
It’s angry and hard, his tongue is sucking on mine that it’s so close to painful.
Zero is not just kissing me he’s consuming me, dominating me.
I feel it right in the center of my legs.
His chest comes down firmly on my own, crushing me, but it’s so fucking amazing that for the first time in years, I just don’t care.
My lips are stinging.
Zero does something with his tongue that I feel right in my toes.
It is causing a throaty sound to rip from my torturous throat. That makes him more frenzy and he rotates his hips so his cock is grinding against my denim covered pussy, all while he’s tongue fucking my mouth.
Because that’s exactly what he’s doing. He is fucking my mouth hard like a man possessed.
His fingers are still serving as a restraint locked around my wrists.
His other hand slides under my ass, lifting me up and pulling me harder into him, at the same time he rocks his hips against me.
There is no space between us as his body encompasses mine.
Emotions claw its way in me and I lose myself in him. I start mimicking his movements in the opposite direction.
There’s nothing sexy about this, there’s nothing soft and sweet about this either.
I’m not sure how long we kiss. I’m not sure how we doing it, or why I’m not freaking out.
I’m just in this moment as he lights my body into a fast burning fire.
His hand leaves my wrist and mine instantly fly to his ass, bringing him closer to me, squeezing his tight flesh as my legs lock around his hips, wanting more, something deeper.
His free hand joins the one under my ass and I have no choice but to lift my hands and dig my fingers into his shoulders.
He hisses in my mouth and his movements get faster and harder, our breathing and sound of our rough humping fills the menthol scented air.
His right-hand slips under my back.
Zero’s hands are huge and my nerves spike at the same time my core tightens when his fingers fan out to the full expand of my lower back before he lifts me partially off the bed.
I arch closer to him, my lips burning from the kiss of death he’s still bestowing upon me. It’s almost like he’s afraid to let up, afraid to stop.
Zero’s fingers gather up my blue t-shirt, while the length of his hardness rubs against my wet covered pussy.
The touch of his fingers against my naked skin is almost enough to blow my mind.
His rough fingers dig into my flesh and makes their way to my stomach.
It’s like throwing me in the Northern river as the cold hard reality crashes into me in the seconds that tick on by.
I stiffen as my memories fight for front seat, fight to steal this away, like it has stolen in the past. Burning iron assaults my nose.
No, please, No.
I stop the kiss and turn my head, my battle with my demons waging on me.
But Zero is lost in the moment, he licks my neck, sucking on the pulsing vein.
And it takes everything to let go of this moment without shattering this reprieve.
The first humanly contact I had freely given since I fell prey to a beautiful monster.
“I’m sorry, I.. I.. cant.” My voice breaks as I stammer for syllables.
My breathing is labored as I try to push Zero off me.
He freezes, his mouth glistening and partly red from my macerations.
I watch and wait in silence. His green gaze takes in my face, which I’m sure is dead. That’s how I have to be.
That’s how I need to feel to survive my demons, my monster.
I watch in silence as his own rough features glimmer with his inner emotions, realization, regret, disgust, disbelief, and finally coldness, a coldness I’ve come to understand this week for what it truly is.
A coldness of a deadly killer, a coldness of a sniper.
“Leave then. Run away, Get. The. Fuck. Out.” He grinds the words between his clenched teeth.
I don’t have to be asked again as I practically stumble off his bed.
I’m not sure how, but I make it to the door.
My hand on the knob.
“I can’t believe I thought… I.. you know what you nothing but a fucking beggar.”
I swallow at his brutal words, but remain silent.
Waiting for him to say the rest, to plunge the knife he wishes to twist into my heart, my mind.
“Don’t go fucking up things for Falon and I,” He continues, yet I don’t turn.
I don’t look at him, I won’t give him that.
“If I hear you said anything, being homeless would be the least of your problems,” His voice breaks on the end betraying his words.
I still stiffen at his harsh warning, his threat but the hurt leaves me.
He is right, I am just a beggar.
We don’t get heroes like Zero.
“I understand!” I whisper enough for him to hear and leave his room.
I’m not weak, I’m not strong either, I’m a survivor.
I’ve lived through hunger for years until my body didn’t crave a meal for two days.
I’ve became resilient to embarrassment when I was left naked for weeks until a lady gave me her clothes from her packet with the tags on, only to see me a few days later and charge me for stealing.
I survived a monster until a family showed me mercy and lifted me up from the pit, I stayed in only to leave me on the side of the road naked, because they were too shit scared to help further.
I survived a pregnancy at sixteen with no money in my pocket while running from a monster that was determined to find me.
I’m still running because I’m a survivor.
So, with one foot in front of the other I walk through the corridor knowing that I will fucking survive the Enforcer of The Satan Sniper’s Motorcycle Club.