**TRIGGER WARNING This chapter contains sexual assault and/or violence, and suicidal thoughts that may be triggering to survivors.**
Dream
Adea
An oval rose-gold framed mirror sat atop an ebony-stained solid wood vanity. The tension mixed with excitement as it buzzed in the air. I fought and failed to stop my leg from bouncing. Butterflies threatened to break loose as they fluttered against my stomach. I was trying not to count down the minutes. He said he was going to be here at sunset.
I looked towards the set of four windows that started two feet from the ground and stretched almost to the top of the ceiling. The top of the windows arched and gave this prison a fairy tale castle feel. It was the opposite, the white walls were closing in on me with every passing minute.
My throat began to constrict in panic. He said he would be here. I needed to calm down and put my trust in him like I had done many times before. He wouldn’t let me down. Not once has he ever broken a promise to me. I was trusting in him not to break it today, no, I needed to believe he wouldn’t.
The alternative was something I didn’t want to think about. The chain around my ankle bit into my skin to remind me I was trapped here. I had been weakened with it, the marred skin would never heal.
He was my only option, albeit not a very promising one now that the sun was setting but he was my only option. He would keep me safe. As soon as he made it here, he wouldn’t let him touch me and we could run away together. A voice crackled from the other side of the locked door. It remained that way from sunrise to sunset.
“Dear Sister, the sun is about to set.”
Her voice was sweet but the intent behind her words dripped with poison. Never have I ever hated someone so much. I didn’t belong here, she knew, he knew. It didn’t matter that I was his mate. All that mattered was what he wanted and so here I was. He didn’t care that I was meant for someone else, or that he had a mate, his obsession lingered.
His attachment was sick. He held us both here. Regardless of the fact that she was okay with being used, it didn’t faze her that he didn’t love her, as long as he found a use for her, she was content. Her wolf was happy with it this way too, so long as they had him. It made me sick to my stomach. In this life or the next, I hope I never felt that way about my mate. Only caring about being useful to him and not caring about being loved or cared for.
I have been here for two years. He took me away the week before I turned of age. It was the year that was supposed to be the most exciting in a wolf’s life. You meet your wolf, mate the one who’s destined for you, and run away together off into the sunset.
I’d met him as a young girl. We knew right away, that we didn’t need to be of age to feel the pull of the bond to prove we were created for each other. He had been by my side since day one.
We grew up together, he wasn’t always nice to me but I soon realized that was just how he was. Despite how rough he could be or how crude he came off, no matter how angry he got with me, he had a soft spot for me.
His love was different, always had been. Growing up, sometimes, he would hurt me, and sometimes I bled but we had this unspoken understanding between us. I trusted him and he never gave me anything I couldn’t handle.
I wanted it as much as he did, need it just as badly. I chose him and he chose me. He loved me and Goddess, I loved him too. No one knew about us it was our little secret and no one, not even the Alpha could make me forget about what we had.
There was nothing Alpha could do that could erase my intended’s touch from my mind, my body, my soul. It was him, it would always be him. No matter what the Alpha said or did, he couldn’t make me hate him.
It didn’t matter if he did the same things I’d done with my love. I’d made sure to separate the two. It was hard in the beginning but I wouldn’t let him soil what I had. They were two different people and eventually I was able to pull myself out of the depression and reminded myself.
I would not be brainwashed. I would not be broken. I would not forget the love I had, the love I felt, or the bond my true mate and I shared. It wasn’t a bond that needed to be felt through the will of the Goddess.
Thanks to Darci, the letter had come swift and after I read the contents, I burned it after. The few words contained in the letter were ones filled with promise. I’ve waited all month for this day.
Every night that I had to spend under him, every day I heard my sister’s taunts of their undying love, and every day that I had to pray I didn’t end up with child had led up to this day, in hopes that today would be a success.
I gritted my teeth, lay back, spread my legs, and remained quiet while he rode me hour after hour, night after night. When he was done he would ask me how it was if I liked it as if I had a choice, as if my opinion mattered.
I felt nothing, no tingles, no lust, no love for the Alpha but I looked into his eyes and lied. His obsession with me had cost me my parents and my home.