Chapter 95: His view
Alexander’s POV
I laid on my back, eyes gazing at the ceiling, my chest rising and falling with each breath as I drew small circles on Lily’s body. I stole a short glance at her to find her eyes glistening in the room, she looked to be deep in thought.
My mind began to wander, replaying the intensity of our lovemaking. I couldn’t help but smile.
Every time with her is like a revelation. Her body, her touch, her love… it’s all mine, and mine alone. Memories of our passion flooded my thoughts.
The way she surrendered to me, her eyes locked on mine. The way her skin felt under my fingertips, soft and silky. The way she whispered my name, her voice trembling with pleasure.
My heart swelled with emotion. I love her more with each passing day. She’s the missing piece I never knew I needed. Her love is my solace, my strength, my everything.
Who would have thought that shy girl would become my soulmate?. That a forced marriage would bring me so much happiness and I would cherish it this much. Her smile captivated me, but it’s her heart that truly won me over.
My gaze shifted to Lily’s peaceful face, I was lucky that she belonged to me and she would be the mother of my children.
But sadly it seemed she didn’t feel the same way about me. She doesn’t even trust me but who was I kidding. I still has a load of things that I was keeping from her.
I haven’t told her about anything from my past, not even about Daisy and everything that happened then.
I owed it to her to tell her about everything If love her as much as I claim. I had to tell her before telling her how i feel.
She had to know everything and if she wants to still be with them good but if not …
But God knows I don’t desire that.
I exhaled as I prepared myself to reveal everything to her. “I have something to say.” I blurted out and to my surprise, Lily did the same. I guess we had both been pondering on things.
“Let me go first.” She said with a shy smile as o helped her up.
“No, please let me go first. I just need to get this out of my chest now. Perhaps what I have to say might change what you intend to say. After I’m done, it’s your choice to do with it, however you please. ” I said in a firm tone as o mirrored her. I had no idea of what she intended to say but I had to tell her everything now .
She gulped and flashed me a timid look. “You’re scaring me now, I have to go first please.” She begged with pleading eyes.
“Alright.” I couldn’t say no that look even though I knew in my heart it would cost me a great deal.
“I have not been completely honest with you. I’ve been lying about so many things, in fact concealing things that you are required to know”. She said as she fondled with the sheets.
“Like what?”. I asked with eager eyes. Now it was my turn to be scared. What had she been lying about?.
Did she not love me?, was she cheating on me. My heart beat accelerated as I pictured a billion things.
After an hour but was in fact just a few seconds she stuttered out in a low tone. “I haven’t been completely honest about my feelings… for you.”
Fuck I knew it!. She doesn’t love me.
I wanted to walk away and save myself from that torture but at the same time, I just wanted hear it.
I watched as she wiped her hands on the sheets and stared at me in a nervous manner.
“I… I’m afraid that I…”. She paused and pinched her brows. She looked like she contemplating whether or not, to continue.
“Please just go on. I can take it.” I sighed defeated. I couldn’t bear the wait any longer. My heart was seconds away from tearing apart and I lied when I said I could take it.
The room was silent before she drew a breath and closed her eyes. “I love you Alex… I always have, no matter the circumstances that occurred, my feelings have never changed and I doubt if ever there would come a time when I would not love you.” She said in a soft tone.
I stared at her facial features trying to figure out if it was a prank or something. This was the last thing I expected to hear from her.
She loves me?
She has always love me?
She would always love ?
She finally opened her eyes and I couldn’t even look at them. Was she serious?
She looked like she was expecting me to say something.
I sighed and bent my head. I was beyond happy if she meant all that. I wanted to kiss her passionately and tell her how I feel too.
But how could I, it wouldn’t be fair to her when I still had enough skeletons in my wardrobe. It felt like deceit to me.
I had to do what was right first, and so I said the first thing that came to mind. “You should have let me go first princess .”
“What did you say?”. She sprang up and screamed at me. “I had just poured out my heart to you and this is how you respond?!.” She said in hurt tone.
“Take it easy”. I rushed to her side. “Remember the doctor said that stress is not good for you nor the baby.” Her eyes looked red and from the way she was heaving and holding her stomach, it seemed she was in pain.
“Oh get away from me!.” She pushed me aside angrily. “So now you care about me and my baby.” She continued as she moved to the wardrobe to pick some clothes.
Her words crushed me, I have always cared about her and our child. I loved them even more than myself.
“Lily please calm down, you’re getting it all wrong. I got what you said but I…” I tried to explain to her that I needed to tell her everything from my past first but she wasn’t having it.
“But what Alex.” She screamed at me in broken voice. “You don’t feel the same way?”. She asked with teary eyes. Seeing her like was so painful and to think I was the cause of it.
“Lily it’s not…”
“It’s not what, huh?.” She cut me off again and wiped her eyes, preventing the tears from falling down. “Why don’t you love me, tell me Alex, why?. I know I try to make it easy for you to love me so why don’t you love me!!!?.” She screamed as she broke into tears .
“Why… why don’t you need me as much as I need you?.” She begged.
I just stood there watching her like a fool. I had so many things to say, yet I couldn’t utter a word. I wanted to hug her and tell her that I love her but it felt like I was frozen.
I watched she sighed and gathered a few things, making her way to the door. It seemed my brain began functioning again at the thought of her Leaving me. “Where are you going?.” I asked as I moved rapidly towards her.
“Ahh he speaks!.” She scoffed and pulled the door open.
“Where are you going?, This is no time for games”. I asked her worriedly but she ignored me and continued walking down the stairs.
“Are you leaving the house?”. I asked again pulling her to a stop.
“My apologies, I guess I failed to recall that you were keeping me prisoner here, right?”. She said sarcastically.
“I’m sorry”. I sighed. “That’s not what I mean. It’s just that you haven’t left the house in months and now you’re abruptly leaving out of anger I presume… I’m just concerned for your safety, that’s all.” I explained. Chase was still there, he had probably not attacked because he had not gotten a chance, and I would be damned if I give him one knowing well from what the Harper brothers told me that he would kill her.
“Hmm”. She put her hands on her waist and sized me up. She looked like a cute teapot and I almost smiled but I held it in, knowing she would pick offense. “Well Mr. Concerned, I’m going out”. She turned on her heels and began making her way to the gate.
“Are you walking to wherever you’re going to?”.
I asked with humor. I had seen that being strict wouldn’t get her to listen to me, she was too stubborn but I loved it about her.
“No, I’ll book a ride. Quit questioning me”. She hissed in annoyance.
Was it crazy that this turned me on…
“Please let Mr. Mark take you so we can at least know you’re safe.” I pleaded. I wanted him to go with her so I could have her location in case anything happened. I couldn’t be careless at this point.
“No, so he can forward my every location to you?, not going to happen.” She hissed at me
and pulled out her phone.
She was just too smart!
“Let’s be logical for once. We know the active threat on us, in as much I’m trying everything in my power to catch him we still need to take reasonable steps to remain safe.” I said in a firm tone. I did not know how else to stop her from leaving.
“So I’ve never been logical”. She said eyeing me. Leave it to Lily to make an issue out of nothing at every opportunity.
“Lily please!”. I sighed exasperated.
“Yes, you’re…” she paused eyeing me for a second before placing her phone to her ear. “I’ll be out in a minute.” She said to someone on the other end, probably the cab driver.
She eyed me again and walked out of the gate.
I couldn’t stop her now, seeing as this had failed, I had to think of something else.
I walked back into the compound to where some of my men were gathered.
“Boss”. They greeted.
“Follow my wife and report her every move to me.” I ordered two of my men.
“Yes boss”. They responded and quickly got into a car and zoomed.
I had to trust that she wouldn’t do anything stupid. She was probably going shopping or getting food.
Or going to see another man…
I shrugged that thought away. She wouldn’t do something like that. I knew my Lily.
She probably needs to get some air. After all she had been indoors for months.
But at the same time, I had to take preventive measures. I couldn’t let anything happen to her. I would protect her with my life.