My heart raced in my chest, thundering against my rib cage. No matter how many breathing exercises I tried in the space of one minute, none of them did what I wanted. My breath hitched in my throat, and my palms felt clammy. Beads of sweat streamed down my forehead as I swallowed in fear and disbelief.
When I had rounded up my shift in the kitchen, I wanted nothing more than to run upstairs and bury myself into my mattress. My hands ached and the tip of my fingers burned, like they were being cut off and pricked at the same time.
My bed wasn’t the most comfy place in the world, but at least it guaranteed a good night sleep. Until the distraction that decided to rear its head. I knew that voice anywhere. Xander.
Why was he here? How did he even find me? No, no, no.
If someone had told me that the routine I had slowly adapted to, in the span of a month would be interrupted in one day, I would have argued.
What were the odds that this would happen? I still did not know how to react.
I pressed my eyes shut, willing the thoughts to go away. Maybe if I stayed rooted to my spot and ignored him, he would go away.
But I was wrong. Very wrong. Obviously.
As seconds ticked into minutes, I became more and more aware of his gaze on me, his eyes boring holes into my skin. I was aware of the other waitress that stood in the corner, but she didn’t matter. No one else did except him.
What If I didn’t respond? What if I continued my journey upstairs and ran till I was already safe in my room? . Even if he ran after me, I wouldn’t open the door, and there was no way Xander would break in. He was a gentleman.
Right?
I had barely answered my own question when a voice whispered in my mind. I recognized it immediately, and as she spoke, I couldn’t help but feel the weight of her words against my mind.
“You want to run away again?” My wolf whispered.
Her voice was tiny, but it held the highest level of impact I’d ever heard.
“Don’t you get tired of doing that? Running away every time?” she asked and I swallowed. She barely ever spoke, so it was quite shocking for me to process her words.
My lips quivered. Whether I liked it or not, she was right. I had been running away for so long, that was now the only thing I knew how to do.
But not anymore.
I sucked in a mouthful of air as I steeled myself for what I was about to do. Anxiety swirled in the pit of my stomach, and I fought the urge to barf. I felt like I was going to pass out.
As slowly as I could, I spun around to see Xander. I already knew what was coming, but nothing prepared me for the moment our eyes met.
Time froze over, like the entire world had stopped and it was just the both of us in it. Xander’s eyes didn’t leave mine, and I felt a shiver run down my spine. He stared at me so hard I couldn’t help but feel like he was using my eyes as some kind of entryway into my mind.
“You can do this, Kieran.” I muttered underneath my breath as I tried not to lunge at him.
“You can do this.” I reassured myself.
My feet felt like lead, but I tried my best to push them in front of me. One at a time, I placed one leg in front of the other. It seemed almost robotic, but I didn’t care, and after what seemed like forever, I finally stopped in front of him.
“Kieran.” Xander whispered. My heart skipped a beat at hearing my name roll off his tongue. It had been so long, way too long. I missed his voice. In all honesty, I’d missed every inch of him.
I cleared my throat, trying to push away my feelings and my wolf’s weak claw to lunge at him. He looked so beautiful. Goddess knows I had missed every inch of him.
“Let’s talk outside.” I cut him off, before he could say anything else. I watched a bit of hurt flicker across his facial features, but I forcefully ignored it.
“Come on, let’s go.” I said.
Without waiting for a response from him, I headed outside. The cold night air was the first thing that hit me. The cold nipped at my skin and icy tendrils shot down my spine in contrast to the sweat that stuck to my skin.
It was usually cold out here, but in my haste to get whatever this was, over with, I had rushed out without thinking. I hoped he didn’t feel too cold. I resisted the urge to move closer to him and warm him up.
“What are you doing here?” I asked the moment we settled outside.
“How- Why did you even find me?” I asked.
“What?!” Xander exclaimed, surprise flickering across his face.
“Kieran, what are you even saying?” he asked, seeming like he really wanted to understand what I meant.
“Exactly what you heard, Xander.” I said blankly.
“Tell me what you’re doing here.” I said, looking straight into his eyes. He seemed so confused.
Like he didn’t understand why I was talking to him this way.
“I’ve been looking for you,” he said, his eyes searching mine. I looked away, before he continued.
“Ever since you left the house, I’ve been combing the entire town in search of you.” he added.
A part of me was not too surprised to hear that. I wondered why until I remembered Alice mentioned something along that line. I still struggled to believe it, even though I knew a level of effort had to have been put in for him to find me here.
“Say something,” Xander was basically pleading.
“Kieran, talk to me. Don’t you believe me?” he asked and I swallowed.
I do.
“No, I don’t” My voice was cold.