51

Chris
Ileaned over the counter and splashed cold water over my face. What the fuck was wrong with me? Snapping at Raven like that? That wasn’t me.
Fucking hell, I don’t know what came over me.
I couldn’t let Bryan do this to me. I couldn’t let my emotions overwhelm me. It wasn’t worth it. Raven had just come into our lives. I couldn’t be the cause of her leaving. Not by pushing her away.
Shame swept through my body, bleeding through my pores, and I turned away from my reflection in disgust. I didn’t deserve that beautiful, kind, trusting woman out there. I’d only cause her pain so far.
I may have fucked it up for myself, but I wouldn’t let my actions reflect on Kashton and Caden. They still deserved a chance with her.
My hand hovered on the doorknob as the sounds of her sobs reached my ears. I cracked open the door, allowing me to peer out and observe Raven firmly secured in Kashton and Caden’s arms.
“Shh, baby girl. He didn’t mean it.” Kashton brushed his fingers through her hair, soothing her with his voice and gentle touch.
“I’m sorry,” Raven murmured, the words muffled by the fabric of Kashton’s shirt.
I couldn’t stand here anymore. Despite the shame lingering in my veins, I needed Raven to know how much I loved her.
Because despite only knowing her for such a short amount of time, I loved her with every ounce of my being.
Slowly, I stepped out of the bathroom and approached the bed.
Caden caught sight of me, and he nodded. Respect and admiration reflected in his eyes as he let me kneel before our girl.
“Kroshka,” I managed to croak out as I took her face between my hands.
“I’m sorry, Chris.” Raven sniffled as tears continued to stream down her cheeks.
Fuck me, she was killing me.
I shook my head, the shame intensifying within me. “I’m the one that needs to apologize. You did nothing wrong, kroshka. Nothing.”
My thumbs swept over her cheeks, wiping away the tears. She opened her mouth to speak, but I shook my head again. “No, Charlotte. This was all on me. I apologize for snapping and the way I behaved.” I let out a deep sigh and swallowed the emotions thickening my throat. “I need to tell you about my past, but I’m afraid you’ll look at me differently. I was not a good person.”
My voice was hoarse, the words drawn out from my very soul. I knew I needed to tell her the horrible things in my past, but I couldn’t handle it if she looked at me differently.
“Daddy A, no.” She shook her head and placed her hands over mine on her face. “I’d never look at you with anything but love.”
Did she… Did sheloveme?
“Well, maybe some sarcasm and humor. Only good emotions, not anything bad like hatred or disgust. I could never, Daddy A.”
Gods, I loved her rambling.
I leaned forward and kissed her gently. “Thank you, kroshka.”
Raven sniffed, her tears ceasing, and she cocked her head to the side. “For what, Daddy A?”
I would never tire of hearing her call me that. It made my heart sing and my cock hard. A heady combination for a man in love.
I drew Raven onto my lap and kissed the top of her head. “For trusting me. For not being angry about being kidnapped. For just being the most beautiful person I’ve ever had the pleasure to know. For allowing me to love you.”
She stilled against me, my words penetrating through. Drawing back, her eyes began to fill with tears once again. “You love me?”
I caught a tear with my thumb as I nodded. “Of course I do, Little girl. How could I not? You’re our perfect Little.”
Her mouth parted, and a soft sound escaped her throat. “I love you, too.” She turned to catch Kashton and Caden’s gazes. “I love you all.”
Kashton grinned and took one of her hands. Here he went, kissing her knuckles again. “Love you, too.”
Caden turned her head in his direction and softly kissed her. “Love you, Princess.”
I cleared my throat. “Did you guys bring food up? Raven needs to eat something, and then maybe we can relax and watch a movie before bed.”
“Breakfast for dinner.” Caden grinned. “My favorite comfort food. Figured we could all use it tonight.”
“Waffles?” Raven perked up.
“Yes, baby girl. Waffles, eggs, hash browns, and bacon.”
“Yummy!” She wiggled in my lap, and a groan escaped me.
I clasped my hands down on her hips. “Please have mercy on me, kroshka. I only have so much willpower after everything that happened today.”
Raven stilled as red spread over her cheeks. “Sorry.” She dipped her head, but the smile that curled the corners of her lips told me she wasn’t remorseful.
“How about we talk more tomorrow?” I swept back the hair that had fallen in her face. “Let’s just eat and rest tonight.”
She nodded. “There’s plenty of time for talking.” She paused for a moment and pondered her words. “Hopefully, we have our whole lives ahead of us to talk, and if you don’t want to tell me anything right now, you don’t have to, Daddy A. I love you despite your past, and nothing you say can change what’s in my heart.”
My eyes fluttered shut as I pressed my forehead against hers. “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you, Charlotte Alexander, but I’m thankful you came into our lives when you did.”
Raven’s fingers sank into my hair. “I think I’m the lucky one here. Never thought I’d ever find one guy as good as you, much less three.”
We chuckled, and I savored the feel of her in my arms and on my lap. After several moments, I patted her ass. “Let’s get you some food. I know you must be starving.”
As if on cue, her stomach made a gurgling noise. “Crap!” She exclaimed as she placed her hand over her belly. “Bad tummy, we don’t make noises like that in front of our guys.”
I bit back my laughter as Caden climbed off the bed and held a hand out for Raven. “Come on. Little girls need their dinner.”
She scrambled off my lap, and I watched as Caden placed a hand on the small of her back as he guided her to the sitting area of the room.
Kashton laid a hand on my shoulder. “I’m glad you came to your senses. I was not looking forward to having to punch you in the face.”
“Somehow I don’t believe that.” I scoffed. “You would have loved punching me.”
“Probably.” He shrugged and grinned as he rolled off the other side of the bed.
Sighing, I followed them to the couch and sank into the chaise. Caden had already settled Raven on his lap, scooting the coffee table closer so he could eat easily. Or feed Raven, was the more likely reason for the move.
She caught my gaze, her head tilting to the side as her eyes reflected all the questions she couldn’t say out loud.
Was I okay? What secrets was I hiding about my past? Did I deserve her love?
The last question was one my anxiety filled in. I’d been too stressed out and filled with plans of revenge to even think about what must be going through her head. But now I did.
And I hated every second of it. How I’d be forced to walk along the edge with her, afraid that I’d hurt her with something I said.
Fuck, I loved her. I knew rationally that none of these thoughts were true.
But the monsters in my nightmares currently had hold of me, and I was a slave to their desires.