Rosalind’s POV
I was cleaning one of the suites when an attendant came to call me.
“Prince Killian has summoned you.”
It had been three days since we had that talk that still baffled me. I have avoided him since then by avoiding the hall altogether.
The two brothers confounded me. I didn’t know how to behave with Cillian who made my heart ache when he looked at me with so much hurt in his eyes. I didn’t know how to behave with a version of Prince Killian who wasn’t actively trying to make my life hell.
I knew I would be unable to hide forever but I wondered why it had been Prince Killian and not Cillian.
I wondered why it hurt so much. Then I wondered why he wanted to see me at all. Was he back to his plan of torturing me?
I followed the attendant anxiously. He led me outside the palace to a limo. And standing in front of the limo, dressed in the colours of blue and white was…
“Cillian?”
He smiled at me and I found my lips lifting up in response before I stopped myself in time.
He just looked so handsome in his tailored shirt and pants that emphasized his wonderful physique. His dark hair glinted in the sunlight which turned his hazel eyes gold.
I had to blink to get my head on straight.
“You are here? Where is Prince Killian?”
Cillian ran his hand through his hair looking just a little bit flustered.
“I asked them to tell you that I was Killian. I wasn’t sure you would come if you knew it was me.”
Even though my heart melted at the sweetness of his actions, I registered the futility of it.
“Why are you doing this, Cillian? Your prospective brides will arrive any day now.”
He took my hands in his, his face openable and honest.
“I know but I was hoping to show you something. You are pissed at me and I respect that but I’m asking for a couple of hours of your time max.”
How could I say no to him when he was looking at me like that? How?
“Fine.”
If he had asked me of it, I could offer him my heart for him to shatter. I already was.
Cillian opened the door for me and as I slipped into the car, I saw Prince Killian standing a distance away observing us from one of the many balconies of the palace.
I could have sworn he winked at me but when I blinked he was no longer there. Goddess, I was hallucinating about one prince while going out with another. I needed help. Lots of help.
I stared outside the window ignoring Cillian opposite me. If I let myself look at him I would be unable to remember all the reasons we weren’t going to end well.
I didn’t know if it was because he was my mate or because I was attracted to him so voraciously.
The car came to a stop and we stepped out. I looked around. We were at the base of a hill and the view was stunning.
“Ready for a short climb?”
“I feel blindsided. I didn’t know I would be climbing today.”
But I was fighting back a smile.
“I could carry you if you want me to.”
I blushed thinking of his arms around me, our bodies brushing each other for the entire climb.
“I’m good.”
The movement felt good and got my blood pumping both from the exertion and from the closeness of Cillian to me.
When we reached the peak, I felt humbled by the beauty around me.
The entire capital unfolded around me and with the beautiful greenery, the chorus from the birds and the movement of the animals with the rushes of a nearby stream, the wind over my skin, I felt at peace for the first time in a long time.
I wasn’t even aware of when the words escaped me. “This is beautiful.”
“You are even more beautiful.”
I looked at him and even though we were in the most beautiful place I had ever seen, his eyes never left me.
He made me feel like I was worth far more than what I thought I did.
“Cillian.”
Cillian smiled at me but I could see the hurt mingled with desire in his eyes. “Sorry. I shouldn’t be saying something like that. This is where I come to unwind. Whenever the demands of my position become too much and I can barely breathe.”
“It’s lovely.” I said fighting the urge to take his hand and embrace him to comfort him in any way that I could.
“It was but since I met you, you are my safe space. Being with you calms me and my wolf so much so that it’s like you’ve cast a spell on me or something.”
Cillian seemed confused yet fascinated by his feelings for me and I longed to tell him that we were mates because it seemed like the bond hadn’t quite kicked in for him as it had for me.
And this was the worst time for me to tell him. I would only end up compromising his right to the throne if he was forced to take me as his mate.
Deep in my thoughts, I didn’t realize when he moved closer. I couldn’t take my eyes off his lips for some reason.
Coming here might not have been the best idea. Not with the way Cillian was looking at me. Not with the way he was talking to me.
“I know I shouldn’t love your scent. Shouldn’t dream of your hair strewn across my pillows.”
His words messed with my head and I couldn’t do anything but stand still as he moved even closer.
He pressed his lips to my forehead and I shivered. His fingers wound through my hair and I let out a small gasp at the jolt of electricity that ran through my veins.
“Cillian.” My voice came out as a moan.
He dropped a kiss at the base of my neck now exposed as he pulled my hair back. My eyes fluttered shut and my hands grasped at his back weakly.
I felt his breath over my skin as he spoke every word going straight through me.
“I don’t know how to get you out of my head, Rosalind. Maybe because I don’t want you out of it.”
Before I could even form the words to explain how he made me feel, he kissed the corner of my lips, his hands wandering down my waist and gripping my ass as he pulled me so that our bodies were joined together in the most hypnotic harmony.
I finally managed to get some words out though I couldn’t tell if I was reminding him or myself.
“Cillian. We can’t do this.”
“I know.” He pulled back and regarded me with his hazel eyes that were steadily turning black from his arousal.
‘I know what is expected of me as a prince. I know the kingdom comes first. I know I must be a leader first before I am a person. That I am a Prince before I am Cillian. I was brought up knowing the crushing weight of responsibility on my shoulders. But my heart, my wolf, my every thought revolves around you.”
How could I tell him that it was the same with me? Since the day I met him, it was like I had been on a free fall. A descent into falling madly uncontrollably in love with him.
But the downside of the fall was the impact. With how long I had been falling the impact was going to shatter me.
A tear fell from my eyes, and others following.
“Cillian, I can’t do this. If you were to get mated to someone else, it would kill me even if I know you can’t mate with me.”
I would never love anyone the way I loved him. I knew that. If he went ahead to mate with someone else, I wouldn’t be able to do the same.
I would spend my days pining for what we could have had.
Cillian wiped away my tears, his voice was soothing and assuring.
“Rosalind, I won’t. I can’t. My wolf cannot accept anyone that is not you. I will find a solution to this. You are it for me. I promise.”
His eyes bore into mine. “Do you trust me?”
I swallowed thinking of all the times he has been there for me. Was that even a question?
“I do. ”
“I won’t let you down.” Cillian tucked in my hair behind my ear and his lips covered mine.
This time I did nothing to stop him, in fact, I moved with his touch, my heart and desire, a wild thing I knew stood on fragile ground but I couldn’t help myself.
“******
Cillian accepted my decision to work with Prince Killian instead of him with surprising aplomb.
It wasn’t like I liked Prince Killian now after our little talk but I wanted to believe I understood him better now.
Plus now that Cillian and I were unofficially back together, I felt a bit of space would do us well. Before we would end up making out like teenagers making out behind the shelves in the hall.
I had never been a sexual person but I guess that was because I hadn’t met Cillian yet.
Even now while I was supposed to be amending petitions, I kept trying to sneak a peak at him through the curtain that separated both brothers.
Prince Killian’s harsh voice interrupted my ogling. “Why did you get yourself assigned here if you knew all you wanted to do was stare at my brother?”
I glanced at him. He looked even more intimidating up close and the pleasant Prince Killian who was supportive of our relationship seemed to have evaporated.
“Sorry?”
His frown deepened and fear crept into me at the sign of his displeasure.
“I will not allow you to slack off the way Cillian did. If I am unsatisfied with your work, then you will return to the kitchens.”
I bowed slightly.
“Of course, Prince Killian.”
He seemed mollified by these gestures as he turned his gaze back to the stack of petitions we were going through.
“Good. Now organise the petitions according to caste and tag them according to their degrees of urgency.”
The door to the room suddenly opened and an attendant rushed in.
“Prince Cillian, Prince Killian, the council wishes to inform you that your future brides have arrived.”
Anxiety gripped me.