“I want to get out! Now!” I screamed, gripping the car handle tightly and wrestling with it to yield and open the damn door.
Donovan gifted me a large and proud smile. He didn’t stop driving at any point. “First, you won’t. Second, if you continue to try to wreck my car, I’ll throw you out while it’s still moving.”
I blinked, not believing that a human being could make me so angry, but yes, he could. I pulled harder on the handle, and I was sure that with two or three more yanks at the object, it would come off.
And so it did.
Donovan was going to kill me.
Donovan wanted to kill me.
And I confirmed it when I slowly turned my head with the handle in my hand and his wide eyes looking at it as if it were his child.
My gaze went to my feet, I was almost begging for him not to throw me out of the car. “Sorry?”
“Sorry?” he asked in a whisper. He was going to explode. I knew it. “You’re sorry?!”
I stiffened. Maybe I had gone too far. “You don’t want to let me go to school…”
“Because I want to be with you!”
Sweet.
Sweet enough for my heart to twist. Okay, I had gone too far and the worst thing was that it made me feel too idiotic and guilty for it. Why was I so temperamental sometimes?
When it came to Donovan, I acted like a beast, all the time. I can’t help but be defensive when I’m aware that he has some control over me, I hadn’t yet resigned myself to the fact that this was the case.
Or maybe I had already resigned myself, but I didn’t want him to know it?
“You could be with me at school.” As soon as the words left my mouth I was going to throw myself out of the moving car if he allowed me. “I’m sorry, I’ll pay for the car.”
He was clearly angry when I looked up to see him. “I don’t give a damn about the car.”
I sank into the seat and started to pick at my cuticles. “Well, I’m sorry for acting like a hysteric.”
He took several seconds, but sighed. “And?”
I felt like a primary school girl being punished by her father. “Sorry for shouting at you.”
“And?”
I rolled my eyes. I knew he was starting to pick on me. “Being so temperamental.”
“And?”
I shook my head and bit my lip trying not to return to my bad temper. “Wanting to kill you.”
Donovan burst out laughing and the sparkle in his eyes when he looked at me for a second seemed adorable. “You’re amazing.”
My eyebrows raised with interest, I noticed nothing but sincerity in his voice and that confused me. “Are you being sarcastic?”
My question amused him because he twisted his lips. He shrugged. “Hell no. If you were, you wouldn’t have me as smitten as I am.”
I didn’t answer, just limited myself to watching him appreciating the beautiful smile that lately seemed never to fade from his face. The dark-haired boy who never ceased to amaze me turned to look at me because of my sudden silence. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
I flashed him a nervous smile and murmured, “It’s strange to hear you say that.”
Unable to continue with the nerves his eyes watching deeply into mine were causing, I looked away. Everything was always so intense that it was scary, seriously, we were scary.
“That’s how I felt when you started to air everything out at the bar.”
I swallowed and thought about how unreal all of this was. It was exciting and heart-wrenching to want him as much as I did and it was horrible that the first person to cause me this contradictory feeling was Donovan knowing how destructive and impulsive he could sometimes be when it came to us.
No matter how much I thought about it, it didn’t matter.
I loved the feeling he provoked every time he said my name or touched me, just when he gave me a smile it already shook my world.
How pathetic was that?
I wanted to smile and hug him for some stupid reason. “I think we’re disgusting.”
He didn’t respond immediately, instead, he let go of the gear stick and took my hand. A warm tingle went through my hand under his skin. “I don’t think so, we are who we are, Celina, and we say what we want to say, at least now, I want it to work that way. When we started to be friends we told each other everything, you knew me, you knew I wasn’t the bad guy you thought I was. After what you did for my mother, you ended up confirming that you were not like your cousin, you also changed with me. We are not as we first introduced ourselves. Like it or not, you are not a bad girl without feelings, I’m sorry to tell you, babe.”
I never wanted to be a bad girl without feelings, that wasn’t the intention, I just never felt the need to tell someone what I felt since it never mattered. My father never cared what I said. Shawn hit me every time I did. My mother couldn’t be rational to understand it. I didn’t feel sorry for myself, but yes, I was not used to interest.
Of course, I didn’t tell Donovan that, I just furrowed my brow and then pouted. “Leave me and my facade alone. I like it.”
He rolled his eyes and quickly poked my stomach, making me laugh. I cleared my throat and, risking being excessively cheesy, I dared to do what he proposed, say what I felt. “Donovan?”
Just at that moment, Donovan stopped the car, I didn’t even pay attention to where, and stayed looking at me, paying attention to me.
I licked my lips and met his worried gaze. He probably thought I was going to say something serious, but the truth was something so stupid… Or maybe not. “I like you a lot.”
They weren’t really the exact words I wanted to use, but I didn’t want him to feel overwhelmed by what I really wanted to tell him. Even for me, it could be overwhelming to hear it coming out of my mouth.
Damn, everything was so hard with me.
Why did I beat around the bush?
He changed his concern with an egotistical smile and I wanted the earth to swallow me for allowing his mood. “I know.”
I opened my mouth to tell him something not very nice, when he took my hand to pull me and hug me. “You also like me a lot. You are… You are…”