“Let me go!” I shouted when he closed the room door again, trapping me against it. He forcefully pressed my wrists above my head, but not hard enough to hurt me.
“Who hurt you?” he demanded, looking straight into my eyes.
“You’re hurting me now!” I lied, but he didn’t know that.
“I’m not,” he corrected me. Perhaps he did know. “Tell me, who the hell hurt you?”
“Nobody, damn it, nobody!” I roared in his face, which was now hysterical.
“Did they hit you?” he continued to interrogate me, not caring about the tears streaming down my cheeks.
“Let me go, you idiot!”
“Was it your father? Did he touch you in some way?” When I began to whimper and sob, he pressed his forehead against mine, as if that could provide some comfort. And it did. “Your uncle?”
“My ex-boyfriend, okay?!” I gave in and he let me go, allowing me to collapse on the floor. Donovan accompanied me in the process. He held me in his arms and I leaned against his chest. I wanted to cry. Jesus, I’d needed to cry about this for a long time.
“What did he do to you?” he whispered in my ear as he cradled me like a baby. “I’m not going anywhere.”
After calming down and allowing me to return to the couch, I told him. I told him everything.
“Shawn was the best on the boxing team and he was in his final year, while I still had three years left in high school. I didn’t care about the age difference, it was an honor that an older boy asked me out. Actually, it was an honor that any boy would ask me out at all. Who would want to go out with the crazy woman’s daughter? Well, he wanted to.
“At first, it was wonderful. He would hold my hand, kiss me on the cheek, hug me, everything a couple was supposed to do. After being together for two months, he changed. He wanted more. He wanted passionate kisses, he wanted to squeeze my butt, whisper the things he would do to me if I wasn’t so stupid to want to take things slow, he started calling me crazy like my mother for not wanting him in the carnal way he needed.
“I gave in. I had sex with him. He could have me whenever he wanted, he didn’t ask, he just took what he wanted, when he wanted.
“I kept thinking that he would be my salvation. His parents were rich. They owned big businesses and he was… well, a dream for any girl who saw him from afar. The problem was that I had him too close.
“When I turned sixteen, he started hitting me, I started becoming this Celina, and you know I can’t keep my mouth shut. He hated that.
“First it was slaps, then it escalated to a closed fist, and then, I don’t even know, it was a mix of his foot, knee, fists, and slaps.
“One night, we went to the movies and he took me to a beautiful restaurant. It was the Shawn I liked, and I wanted the night to never end… but something changed when we got in his car.
“He locked the doors and started kissing me. His tongue going straight down my throat and his hand touching my thighs.
“I didn’t want to let him have me whenever he wanted anymore, but I guess he wasn’t used to hearing a rejection from me.
“He punched me straight in the stomach. I begged him to stop, but that only irritated him more… he hit my jaw. I knew he had gotten a gun license, I never thought he would have one under the seat. I begged one last time, but this time there was no punch, there was a gun. I still remember the cold metal against my forehead and his damn finger stroking my sex.
“That night he raped me and beat me until I passed out. When I woke up, I was in a hospital with a broken jaw, a busted lip, both of my eyes purple, and covered in violet patches on my body.
“Obviously, he didn’t miss out on ravaging me inside either.
“The worst part? When I woke up, he was by my side crying for me. Begging for forgiveness. Saying he had drunk too much.
“I pressed charges.
“He got out after four days in jail.
“His mommy and daddy got him out of there really quick. They couldn’t convict him due to lack of evidence… they found his semen all over my damn body.
“A couple of months later, I left that city, Shawn stalked me and people labeled me as a lying whore, so I ran away.”
I told Donovan the one thing I swore I would never tell anyone, he never stopped being exceptions in my life.
He stayed silent, but his body expressions said it all, he was angry. His jaw tensed many times during my confession, his fists clenched and his breathing quickened.
“Where are you from?” he asked through clenched teeth. I knew what he wanted to do and I felt good that he had those intentions.
“I won’t tell you,” I gave him a sad smile and approached him, resting the right side of my face on his chest, feeling his heart racing.
“Why not?”
“Because by your look I know you’ll go cutting heads and the only thing I need right now is for you to be with me, okay?” It took him several seconds, but he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me against him.
“Damn it, Celina, I want to kill him,” Donovan whispered vehemently. I saw him gripping the armrest of the couch so hard that his knuckles were white.
“Stop,” I said, touching his hand. He relaxed it and intertwined it with mine.
After several seconds with his brows furrowed staring at the wall, he looked at my face. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, I’m okay now, I just… I can’t stand being forced against my will again, remember when you hit Travis? I almost had a nervous breakdown because he wouldn’t let me go.”
He muttered a curse under his breath. His eyes showed guilt. “Sometimes I do it.”
“It’s different because no matter how much I resist, I desperately want you not to let me go.”
I’d never said so many ridiculous things in my life, I’d never been so damn corny, but with Donovan, I didn’t mind.
“You didn’t deserve that shit, Celina…”
“Nobody does.”
He made me move from his chest to place his face in the crook of my neck and sighed, momentarily squeezing my hand hard. “I want to kill that bastard.”
“Shh, I want to ask you a favor.”
“Anything.”
“Don’t treat me differently now, okay? I want you to continue being the irritatingly stupid Donovan if you have to be, or strangely tender when you have to be.”
He just nodded and took another deep breath, exhaling it, causing my skin to melt under his warm breath.