I was having a really good dream, in fact, a fantastic one. My mother and I living alone in a small house, paying for her treatment and medication so she could be as well as possible. A decent job, a dignified life, a promising future until… A bucket of ice-cold water was thrown in my face and woke me up.
Literally, a bucket of ice-cold water was thrown in my face and woke me up. In two seconds, I jumped out of bed, startled and completely drenched. The first thing I noticed was Donovan’s laughter.
“Up, Alicia, it’s two in the afternoon. Do you plan on sleeping forever?” he said with amusement.
I looked down at my soaked new shirt, my hair even worse, and the coldness enveloping my entire body. “I… I’m going to kill you.”
“You always threaten the same thing, change the dialogue, babe. You’re getting boring,” he replied.
Babe. Well, that got to me.
“I don’t care about entertaining you, Donovan.” I lifted my shirt almost up to my bra and wrung the water out. I looked at Donovan and saw him momentarily glancing at my stomach before quickly recovering, leaving the bucket by the door and smirking wickedly.
“Ah, now the interest is back. Easy come, easy go,” he taunted.
“It’s the other way around, idiot.”
First, it’s not nice to wake me up. Second, even less with water. And third… he’s making me way too angry. In fact, I’m considering taking off the stupid bandage I put on his face last night.
“Let me know when I care…” He started to turn around, and I lunged at him. My chest collided with his back, and I started hitting him for everything he’s done to me. Drenching me, yelling at me, bothering me, making me desire him… everything.
He grabbed my thighs and held me on his back as if he were giving a piggyback ride to a little girl. He lifted me higher, and I hit his shoulder. He winced, indicating that it hurt. Last night he must have taken some hard blows.
Donovan took a few steps backward, heading towards the bed, which he reached. He threw himself onto it with me underneath him, but his weight didn’t come crashing down on me, so at least he wasn’t trying to kill me.
He quickly moved to prevent me from getting out of the wet bed. He grabbed my wrists and immobilized my legs with his.
I was about to say something sarcastic or ironic when he placed his thumbs in the center of my wrists. He stayed still and silent for a moment. Seconds passed, but they felt like minutes to me. His breath, his warm breath brushing against my neck, sent shivers down my spine, and I wanted to get closer to him. He has to kill me before I reproduce. How can this happen to me with this jerk?
It never happened with my Shawn.
Never.
“Your pulse is racing. Are you going to tell me you like me, Cel?” His question caught me off guard, and I blushed. He was smiling, but I could sense a touch of seriousness in his question.
“You wish.” I don’t know where my sarcasm came from. I could have simply said no, but I sound too defensive, and I hate myself for it.
“Believe me, that’s the last thing I want.”
“Who are they? What are they doing in my house?” Shouting came from the hallway, outside the room. Donovan stood up instantly, and so did I.
“Oh, shit,” he muttered, looking at his mother. I could see his shoulders tense up, and his whole body was on alert.
“Alice, it’s me, Celi…” I started to say, confused. What’s wrong with her?
“Let me handle this.” Donovan interrupted me, nervous, while his mother started crying. “Mom, listen to me, it’s Deni. You need to calm down.”
“No! Don’t touch me! You’re him! You’re him!” she screamed hysterically. Just as she was about to run towards the main door to escape, Donovan managed to grab her, holding her in a way that she couldn’t move her arms. She could barely breathe with his grip.
“What are you doing? Don’t hold her like that!” I grabbed his shirt, and he walked towards Alice’s room.
“Stay there, Celina,” he growled without letting go, and I didn’t release my grip on his shirt.
“Not a chance! Let her go, I’m telling you!” I said in the same tone as him. He was holding her tightly.
He threw Alice onto the bed, face down. He left her like that and positioned himself on top of her to prevent her from escaping. I didn’t know what to do, whether to run away and never come back or jump on this idiot to calm him down.
“Pass me the needle from her drawer and the Haloperidol,” he simply said, knowing that I was behind him.
“Donovan, I’m not really sure…” I started to say as I approached the dresser.
“Celina, just give me the damn needle and the stupid Haloperidol now,” he interrupted, and I did as he asked.
He allowed Alice to move one arm, and she managed to scratch my forearm. Donovan noticed it and looked at my face for a few seconds to see if it really hurt me. Then he went back to the needle and injected the Haloperidol.
In a few seconds, Alice fell asleep.
“She passed out,” Den murmured, releasing her. His jaw tightened. “She always does this, she hates needles.”
He just walked to the living room, defeated. He looked sad. Donovan was really sad, and it didn’t make me feel the way I thought it would. It just made me feel like him.
“What’s wrong? I can help…” I began to say, but he interrupted me.
“Celina, I’m not going to explain things to you that are none of your business. You mean nothing in my life for me to tell you anything,” he said, sitting on the couch and staring at me intensely, darkness in his eyes. In moments like this, I’d much rather have him laugh at me than look at me the way he’s doing now, as if he hates me.
“I just want to help her,” I tried to make him understand. I no longer want to fight, I just want to know what’s wrong with Alice, and maybe I can help her. I mean, I helped my mother a lot.
“We don’t need your help. The bus is available now. You can leave.”
“She just has a manageable illness, right?” I persisted.
I don’t care if he’s kicking me out; I need to know. That woman has to live for a long time, I know it.
“Go, Celina,” he said through clenched teeth, his anger escalating. I’m surprised he hasn’t grabbed me and thrown me out on the street.
“I want to know…”
“You barely know her. Don’t pretend to care just to get to me.”
“To get to you?”
“Do you think I don’t see everything? That you just want to get to me to put me down with your little friends?” He approached me swiftly and dangerously, until we were only a few centimeters apart. “I don’t trust you. I don’t believe most of the things you tell me, and I don’t know why the hell I let you come spend the day with Alice yesterday.”
“Are you mad because I saw your little secret? Or are you mad because I know you have good feelings for someone? I think it’s both, isn’t it?”
“I won’t repeat it again. Leave,” he murmured close to my face, and for a millisecond, I saw his gaze flicker to my lips before he turned around and lay down on the couch.