“What are you doing?” he asked as if he were terrified by my voluntary closeness.
“I’m going to take care of that, now stay still.”
“No need…”
“Stay still, Donovan.” He simply nodded, and it felt good to know that he was obeying me. He was drunk, I noticed that too. I started tending to his wounds, and the palm of my hand accidentally brushed against his cheek. The touch sent shivers down my spine and his as well. He tried to close his eyes to hide it. He’s probably reluctantly accepting this, considering he made it clear that he can’t stand my touch the day I almost kissed him.
“I thought you would yell at me. I was expecting you to,” he murmured calmly, still not looking at me.
“That was the original plan.”
“And what happened?”
“I think you’ve taken enough hits for today.” I could see a grimace in response to what I said.
“Yeah, I have.” He winced at the stinging sensation of applying the alcohol. From the anger of a spoiled child in his eyes, he didn’t want me to see him in pain. He always controls every aspect of his face so that people see what he wants them to see. Now he couldn’t hide the bad boy look, and for that, I smiled. To make Donovan drop his guard, he must be in a lot of pain or very drunk, or both.
“Does it hurt a lot?” The tone of my voice sounded concerned, as if I cared about his pain, which isn’t entirely true… I mean, if a badly injured dog asked for my help, I would be concerned because… Well, the point here is that I’m a good person, and I’m helping him. There’s no ulterior motive to discover.
“Why did you leave? Donovan, I have to go to school tomorrow, and you made your mother worry…”
“Don’t lie,” he instantly retorted, as if he were on the defensive about my complaint.
“Eva says she’s already used to me disappearing at night.”
“Eva?”
“The woman who comes to take care of my mother. She called me a thousand times to make sure you weren’t some kind of kidnapper or thief,” he clarified when I finished bandaging his cuts. Do I look like a thief? Seriously?
“Fine, but couldn’t you have called me?” I hate that it seems like I’m asking him for a favor. His duty was to pick up the damn phone and call me just to say, ‘Hey, Celina, I’m damn drunk and won’t make it.’ ‘Celina, I went partying, leaving you in the lurch to take care of my mother. I got drunk and got beaten up.’ ‘Celina, I was fucking a girl at a party, got drunk, and let myself be beaten up like an idiot.’ The last option made me want to punch him. I stood up, my anger rising, my head pounding, and heat flushing my face. This damn jerk was out partying while I was anxiously biting my nails, wondering what to say to my aunt and how I was going to get home.
“Were you out partying? Is this why you brought me to your house? To be Alice’s babysitter?”
“Can you calm down? My head hurts…” He covered his eyes with his arm and winced from the pain caused by his movement. Did he expect that covering his eyes would make everything disappear? Well, he’s mistaken.
“I can’t, Donovan! You can’t do this shit to me! You go out to have a good time, don’t let me know, and I don’t know what to say at home so they won’t worry! I’ve never met anyone so…”
“So…?” He says it as if it were such a trivial matter, as if he couldn’t care less about what I think, say, or how much I complain.
“So arrogant and lacking empathy like you. You don’t care about anyone but yourself,” I blurted out, grabbing my bag. He flinched as if I had touched a very sensitive nerve, but I don’t understand which one because I’m not lying. He knows he’s not interested in anyone but himself, and if he doesn’t see it, his arrogance reaches unimaginable heights.
“You’re right, now go,” he calmly said, but his eyes were burning with fire. As if he wanted to say many things to me but I wasn’t worth it.
“What?” I said through gritted teeth. He can’t expect me to walk back since there are no damn buses because he arrived fifteen hours late. At the very least, this idiot should give me a ride!
“I’m telling you to leave, you’ve provided your services, now walk,” he said, covering his eyes with his arm again, and I stood there dumbfounded for a few seconds, becoming more aware of his lack of humanity. It only reinforces my point.
“Go to hell,” I start walking towards the door, but a malicious thought crosses my mind. I grabbed the glass of juice I gave Alice for dinner, luckily it was full. I approached Donovan and threw the entire contents of the glass on him. He didn’t move from his position, but he ran his tongue over his lips with fury, savoring the liquid, and I could see his breathing quicken. I had annoyed him, which was my intention. I slammed the front door shut and started walking towards April’s house. She can help me call a taxi or something. I hate bothering, but I prefer that over getting raped and killed while walking over a hundred blocks to get home. When I’m two houses away from Donovan’s, I hear footsteps behind me. Reflexively, I turn around, and it’s the soaked and injured idiot.
“Come in,” he says, pointing to his house.
“I don’t want to.” I still have some pride, and honestly, I don’t want to go back there and be in the same space as him. I don’t want to share his oxygen if possible.
“I’m not asking you.” Always commanding and ordering.
“I don’t care. You kicked me out like a dog, and you expect me to come back? I have something called dignity…” Donovan quickly approached me and lifted me over his shoulder. Is this for real? I didn’t kick or even breathe; I don’t understand what’s happening right now. He started walking towards the house, and that’s when I hit his head.
“Donovan, my leg will land on your damn balls if you don’t let me go,” I muttered through gritted teeth, calculating the best landing of my life.
“My hand will land on your ass, don’t mess with me because I play worse than you, Celina.”
“It won’t hurt me like it will hurt you.”
“Can you shut up and cooperate?” I thought about the possibilities. What if April didn’t answer? I couldn’t walk back home; it’s very likely that I won’t make it alive. They’ll find me in a ditch or in a garbage bag. We entered the house, and he put me down on the floor. He locked the door and put the key in his pocket. He was staggering and barely had his eyes open.
“Sleep in my bed, I’ll sleep on the couch,” he said, heading towards the sofa.
“Aren’t you going to take me home?” I asked horrified. I need to go to school and let my aunt know that I’m okay. I don’t have enough battery to call her.
“I’m drunk to the bone, I’m not really sure what the hell I’m doing, and I don’t mind if you stay, so before we kill each other, I’d rather risk you biting me in your sleep,” he ran his hands over his face, silently begging me to shut up and let him be.
“Well, I’ll sleep on the couch then,” I left my bag on the table. “Celina, to bed, now.” There’s nothing in the world I hate more than his orders. “Do you think you can give me orders…?” I was about to turn around to confront him and start another fight when he was close to me again and put me over his shoulder.
“Why can’t you ever shut your mouth?” he whispered to himself more than to me.
“For the same reason you can’t stop being obnoxious.”
“Touche.” He opened the door to his bedroom, and I could barely see anything because it was pitch dark. When he dropped me on the bed, he clumsily fell on top of me, but his weight was supported by his hands a few inches away from my face. His chest collided with mine, even though there were clothes in between, I could still feel my skin burning from his mere proximity. It’s just like when we collided that first day at school. I don’t want to and can’t separate myself. For the first time, I noticed that his breathing accelerated just as much as mine did, his eyes wider, shining, and focused on mine surprised me. It’s clear that his guard is very low right now, and he’s allowing himself not to think or have the facade of a bad boy for a few seconds, feeling a bit of a connection with another human being. It’s strange how I deny that I feel something for him when it’s obvious that there is… the attraction is undeniable. I could feel his warm breath on my cheek, and he slowly moved closer to me, his eyes locked on mine. When he was just an inch away from his lips, he bit his lower lip and closed his eyes as if he was restraining himself from doing something stupid. Kissing me would be the stupidest thing he could do in his life, but I wanted him to be a big idiot in this moment and do it. He pressed his forehead against my temple and took a deep breath before moving away from me, leaving me feeling completely exposed for a few seconds. “I… I’m going to sleep,” he simply said and practically ran towards the threshold. In two seconds, the living room light went off, and the whole house was in total darkness. What was about to happen? Who stopped it? Why didn’t I stop it? I’m dying in this damn bed, Donovan’s scent fills my nostrils, and I don’t dislike it. I’m trembling and trying to control my reactions to our collision of bodies and gazes. I can’t believe that I’m attracted to him like this, he radiates an incredible heat when he’s near me, and I won’t pretend that I don’t see it or feel it. He probably doesn’t feel anything, just playing with me, and thinking about it infuriates me. I’m the only one feeling like this. I’m not in love with him, but physically, he drives me crazy. I have to avoid his proximity at all costs.