They started arriving around 7:15. I didn’t move from the bench where I’ve been since I arrived here. I couldn’t stop thinking about the variety of things those idiots would have done to me if Donovan hadn’t come to my rescue. I would probably be in the hospital or the morgue right now. April still hasn’t arrived, and there are only five minutes left until classes start, so I decided to go without her and wait for her in class. I walked at a turtle’s pace, feeling defeated. There’s a sense of pain in my chest. I feel weak, useless, and powerless. I can’t seem to be able to defend myself, and it seems like I attract bad luck. I know what those men were going to do to me, and I wasn’t prepared for my world to crumble like that again. If they had, I would have begged for them to end me. That thought is fixed in my mind. I couldn’t bear that and try to move on because those are scars that will always be there. My mom, my dad, Shawn… They are wounds that don’t heal easily, and adding one more? I wouldn’t be able to handle it. If Donovan hadn’t shown up, I doubt I wouldn’t have done something stupid that would have left my mom alone for the rest of her life.
“Hey, girl, what are you thinking about?” Travis appeared by my side just as I was about to enter the classroom. Donovan’s voice addressing Travis as “Travesti” made me smile instantly. The problem is, the guy in front of me thought I was laughing because of his presence, which is definitely not the case. He winked at me and smiled back.
“It’s the one who laughs at their own pranks who remembers,” I said, trying to sound friendlier than usual. I’m always a bitch to him.
“I’m interested in the pranks you’ve pulled. One day you can tell me about them, what do you say?” I don’t know why he keeps bothering. It will never happen, not with him, not with anyone.
“I don’t…” I started to say when the bad boy appeared out of nowhere and pushed Travis aside to slide into the classroom.
“Why don’t you move? You’re in the middle of the way, Travesti,” he says, challenging him with an illusory half-smile on his face.
“Don’t call me that,” Travis mutters under his breath.
“Or what? Are you going to hit me? We both know who won last time. Or did all the punches to your face make you forget? Don’t mess with me and get out of the way. If you want to find someone to be your next fuck, go somewhere else.” With that said, Donovan ignored anything Travis was going to reply and went to sit down.
“You guys have a nice relationship,” I objected ironically.
“He’s an asshole.”
“We agree, Trav.” He looked at me persistently for a few seconds. Then, he lifted the corner of his lip as if he was amused and tucked the rebellious strand of hair that was next to my cheek behind my ear, his knuckles brushing against my cheek. I liked that gesture…
“I’m going to my class. See you, Cel,” just as he said that, we heard the bell.
“Goodbye…”
When I went to sit down, the jerk was behind my seat. It’s going to be a very torturous class… for me.
“Are you going to start dating Travesti now?” he blurts out before I even sit down. “No, and even if I did, it’s none of your business.”
“Well, try not to make it against your will this time.”
That hit me. It hurt that he knew how much of an idiot I was this morning. I can’t imagine what he would say if he knew what happened to me in the past.
“You’re an asshole,” my voice was trembling with each word that came out of my mouth. As if he noticed my shaky voice, he leaned in closer to me, and I could feel his voice closer to my ear.
“I’m not serious, Alicia.” I was surprised that he was trying to backtrack, but that “Alicia” made my anger flare up again. I turned to look at him and yelled, catching the attention of several students.
“My name is Celina, asshole! Repeat after me, Ce. Li. Na.”
“A. Li. Cia.”
“Fuck off, and why are you even here? I told you I won’t say anything.”
“The old lady over there told me not to change seats again because I can’t do whatever I want and blah, blah, blah.” I looked ahead, and indeed, Mrs. Hort was there.
“Why are you talking to me? Supposedly, you’re the bad boy I shouldn’t mess with, the antisocial one. That’s your profile, right?”
He stays silent for a few seconds before responding. He’s so close that I can’t help but see the scar on his neck, it catches my attention. When his eyes return to mine, I’m petrified, I won’t lie, I can barely breathe. He takes the breath out of my lungs like he always does when he invades my personal space. I never bothered to turn around and look at him properly, I had no reason to, until now.
“It’s true. I’m not good, you shouldn’t mess with me, and I don’t like talking to people. But it’s really fun to annoy you.”
So he came to that stupid conclusion after all that contemplation?
“Why don’t you go bother someone else? You’re tiresome.”
“That’s why.”
“Wow, what a great explanation, just because, well done, Donovan.”
He rolls his eyes and explains, “Because no one else would have responded to me with ‘you’re tiresome’ or talked to me sarcastically like you just did. It’s not fun to annoy people when they’re in the palm of your hand and nod at every insult or thing you say. Although, of course, that has a certain appeal. But I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t afraid, and you’re still not afraid of me, so I take advantage of the fact that you challenge me. You’re the first one who does it, and it’s fun to annoy you and see you frustrated.”
“You want to be challenged?”
“No, I don’t want to be challenged. It’s not in their best interest to do so.”
“Then why do you take advantage of the fact that I do it? I don’t understand.”
“It’s fun to see you angry, Alicia. Only you. Your expressions are quite amusing.”
“If I simply ignore you, will you leave me alone?”
“You won’t ignore me, you can’t keep your mouth shut no matter how much you want to… Besides, anyway, this won’t last long.”
“Now you’re the one who thinks they know me. And why do you say it won’t last long if you know I won’t shut up?”
“You’ll start to fear me like everyone else. They’re terrified of me because of what they’ve heard, but I know you don’t easily fear things. That is, you need to see to fear. You challenge me all the time, so I don’t induce any suspicion in you, not until you see something that will make your throat tighten, and rightfully so.”
“I saw you selling drugs and harassing a guy. What else do I have to see?”
“You have no idea, Alicia. No idea.”
“I don’t think I’ll see anything that would make me fear you. I’m not interested in seeing it, and I won’t follow you to find out.”
“Well, if that’s the case, you’ll never fear me, and therefore, I’ll annoy you for a long time.”
That’s not very encouraging… What? Do I have to watch him kill someone for him to leave me alone? That’s not a fair deal.
“You’re a pain.”
“You see? You can’t keep your mouth shut.”
“So what? Are you going to accompany me home just to annoy me?”
“No way, I don’t like being around you, but when I’m at school, you’re the only thing that amuses me.”
“I’m not a toy.”
“Yeah, yeah. Now pay attention to the class that the crazy old lady started writing.”