I noticed the midday light entering through the window. I had slept all night. I turned over in bed to hug Nick, but he wasn’t there, instead, there were just the disheveled sheets in his place.
I shot up when the idea that Nick wasn’t home lodged in my head, panicking me and agitating every muscle in my body. I picked up one of his shirts that was still on the floor and saw that his side of the closet was empty.
No, no, no.
I ran, hoping to catch up with him. Maybe he had just left. Maybe I’d find him in the lobby.
Maybe he’s outside the door because he realizes he can’t just end things with us.
Maybe he never loved me.
Maybe he genuinely only used me.
When the tears started cascading down my eyes, he was there, with the suitcase by his side and with an older man whom I barely recognized because it took me a while to recognize him.
“Hello Samantha. How are you?” Nick’s father greeted as if we had seen each other yesterday, but in reality, I had not seen him in many years, considering that I lived months in his house, it was strange.
I looked at Nick, confused, and he was not looking directly at me. He was sitting on the couch, with his elbows on his thigh and his hands on his chin. One of his feet was moving up and down, nervously, while he was looking at the floor.
He looked terrified.
“Hello… What’s wrong?”
“It’s better if Nick tells you,” he got up from the chair in front of Nick and straightened the perfectly ironed suit he was wearing.
Compared to a couple of years ago, he has wrinkles beside his eyes, a beard with grey hairs, and his hair was practically white. He looked like a mature but well-preserved man.
I didn’t feel embarrassed that he saw a large part of my thighs until he approached me. “You’ve become a beautiful woman, I can see now what Nick saw in you.”
The three of us remained in an uncomfortable silence until Nick’s father gave a big sigh, put his hand in his pockets and turned his whole body towards the front door. “I’ll leave, I hope I’ve given you peace, son.”
The man opened the door and before he left through it, Nick spoke again. “What will happen to Paulo?”
“He’s in rehab, and I’ve paid his bills,” he looked at Nick with a frown and then at me. “Who do you take me for? I know I wasn’t the best but I’m his father, I would never hurt him.”
“Nothing surprises me about you,” Nick said through his teeth.
“You should be, I’ve been great this week, for example, I talked to your mother Sam and convinced her about your relationship. How about that? Am I great, eh?” He smiled and did a mini celebration hoping for some kind of sympathy from us, but he didn’t get it. “I can see why you two get along, you’re both so gloomy.”
He began walking towards his departure again and before he closed the door, he said. “We’ll see each other at Christmas, guys.”
As soon as he left the apartment, I ran to Nick hoping he would tell me what’s wrong.
He finally looked at me and put his hands on my face to plant a desperate and burning kiss.
When our lips parted, I was still confused.
“I told you and planned horrible things for you to leave because… Paulo told me they would come after you if I didn’t go with him. So, I did everything possible to protect you, even though in the process of doing so, I was hurting you. I’m so sorry,” he revealed with tears in his eyes. “I thought I would never see you again, I prepared the clothes to leave you alone in that bed and… You looked so beautiful between those sheets, an angel. You are the angel of my life. You are the love of my life. And if you’re not in it, my heart can never mend, Sam, never.”
He hugged my waist. I stood frozen for a few seconds, then lowered my hands and gently caressed his hair. At one point, I felt the shirt at the abdomen wet, and I noticed that he was restraining himself from letting me know by the spasms in his body that he was crying.
Annoyed to learn of his plans to leave me instead of solving things together, I responded, “You shouldn’t have called your ex to come here.”
“I know, I know, I’m an idiot, I’m a damn idiot,” he clung more to me and my heart breaks at how remorseful he is. “I was so afraid of not seeing you again Samantha, I swear, I considered doing crazy things to prevent you from getting hurt. Crazy things.”
I pushed his shoulder so he would straighten up and look at me. He did. His eyes were red and his cheeks were wet. “Never, ever… listen to me carefully, never, ever, think about leaving to save me again. If you want me to forgive you, you have to promise me on your life or mine, that if at some point an obstacle comes our way, you will be a man and talk to me. You won’t leave. You will talk to me. Do you promise?”
“I don’t know…”
“Promise me, because if not, seriously, this time, there’s nothing else to talk about Nick, I’ll leave,” I said firmly and with my heart racing.
He was silent for a few seconds, moving his eyes all over my face, as if he wanted to memorize me. “I promise.”
I nodded several times processing everything that had happened and that I almost ended up alone, without Nick, from one day to the next everything could have crumbled. “Now what’s next?”
He smiled and ran his hand over his entire face to clean the traces that once there, had been tears. “What do you say if… I start therapy?”
I laughed very hard and hugged him, clinging to him and seriously considering never letting him go. “I would love that.”
“And then… What do you say if we get married?”