Is it possible to feel your heart pounding all the way to your feet?
That would explain why I’m shaking and why I’m terrified of collapsing in front of my mother and brother.
I tried to slow the rhythm of my heartbeats, but it was impossible.
My mother was looking at me as if she wanted to hit me.
My brother was looking at Nick as if he wanted to hit him.
Olivia was looking at both of us as if she wanted to hit us.
We still have time to run! If only my head would cooperate with my feet which just so happen to not want to move! Why does this happen to me in these kinds of situations? It is supposed to be that a human being, upon detecting danger, should act, but right now, the only thing I’m good for is watching as John strides towards us.
My feet are moving. They’re doing it.
Now I’m standing in front of Nick. Keeping my brother away from him.
I’ve never seen this side of John in my life. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared because the truth is, I’m scared to the bone.
John was really different from how I remembered him. It seems he’s been exercising since I left home. He’s much bigger and more muscular. Nick is big and has muscle, but compared to my brother, he’s nothing. John has the body of a professional boxer, this is not normal. He couldn’t have changed so much physically.
“Samantha, either you step aside, or I will,” he said, gritting his teeth. His eyes were squinted, and the vein on his forehead seemed like it was going to burst at any moment.
I had no doubt that he would do it, and I don’t think he would do it gently.
“Calm down. Please, let us explain…”
“Let you explain?! Have you lost your mind, Samantha? You’re sick!”
At that moment, the punches started. Nick, over me, punched John in the face. He didn’t fall, but he did stagger.
“Watch your words with her, asshole! Say one more thing and I won’t give a damn if you’re my stepbrother or her brother.”
I grabbed Nick’s arm, digging my nails into him. “Stop, don’t hurt him.”
My pleading look softened him enough to nod.
John started laughing. He wiped his bloody lip with his wrist.
The punch Nick received next was as unexpected to me as it was to him. The fist landed on his left cheek. It was so hard I could hear the way his knuckles collided with his skin. When Nick fell abruptly to the ground, I felt as though I would crumble with him.
“How did it not matter to you that she was your sister? She’s your sister, damn it! Do you realize you’re confusing her? She doesn’t want this, I know her. She’s not like this. You’re playing with her mind, you’re making her believe she should be with you, but it’s not like that.”
He said it with such conviction, that even I could have believed him.
I looked at my mother and Olivia. Both were expectant to see what would happen, while I was pulling my hair out in desperation.
I thought my mom had left London a long time ago. I thought she went back to Portland. How could she make such a scene just to separate me from Nick? I want to scream in her face what kind of person she is. If I can say that she is a person.
Before John lunges at Nick, to continue with the punches, I did. Stopping him.
The tears that were pouring out like crazy from my eyes a few seconds ago stopped. Is he going to speak with conviction without knowing the cause? Well, I will do it but sure of the words that come out of my mouth.
“John, please, calm down. Listen to me,” I took a breath and looked him straight in the eye. “I love Nick. I care very little whether you accept it or not. I love Nick, so much that I don’t see a life without him, and you’re wrong to even think that he’s playing with my mind or confusing me. I wanted this more than he did. I want him. I choose him,” Nick looks at me with a mix of pride and surprise. John, on the other hand, looks at me with horror.
“Samantha, understand that we’re talking about your stepbrother,” my mother said from behind me.
Of course, now she speaks. After they hit her son, she thinks to join the conversation.
“I don’t give a damn if he’s my stepbrother, mom! It’s legal! That a lot of ignorant people like you and Olivia don’t understand, isn’t my prob…”
Olivia slapped me, making my face turn a bit. It wasn’t that strong, but it hurt like it was. I touched it and there was blood. One of her rings hurt me, great.
John and Nick quickly approached her.
I can’t believe this is happening. My mom and my brother against me. Nick in a so disapproved, forbidden, -horrible- relationship with me.
And now, all of us gathered and fighting in a hallway.
“Enough!” I shouted loudly. “I want all of you out of here and if possible also out of my life, if you don’t accept what I want, I don’t want to have anything to do with any of you. John, if you ever come back or touch Nick, I’ll call the police. And if either of you two bothers us again I will also report you.”
Everyone looked at me surprised.
My mother was the first to move quickly away from the apartment door. But not before saying, “You’re going to regret this, Samantha.”
Then my brother, he stood in front of Nick.
“I recommend that you leave her before I break your disgusting…”
I got in between them.
“Get out!” I yelled in his face. My fists were clenched and focusing on not hitting anyone or anything.
He gave Nick one last threatening look and left with my mother.
When Olivia approached me, my body insisted on me backing away.
“Both of you disgust me. Nick, never think about talking to me again and if you,” she pointed a finger at me and smiled, “interfere with me again, you’re going to have a bad time.”
I got even closer to her.
“Same goes for you.”
She left smiling and I was left alone with Nick. We both looked at each other and approached each other to touch the wounds they had just made. He touched the one on my cheek and I touched the one on his cheekbone.
“I’m sorry for this,” I murmured more to myself than to him.
“And I am for this,” he barely touched the wound and gave me a little kiss there.
Nick isn’t perfect. Neither am I. But we love each other so much that it seems almost impossible to live a life without each other.
We are not perfect. But we don’t have to look for the perfect person, but for that one that makes our lives perfect.