“Hey, Sam. I listened to each of your messages, and I believe you. I believe it was your stepbrother, and I know you would never do something like that…” I hesitated about that statement. “But I can’t. I can’t do a long-distance relationship. I miss you too much, and I need to hug and kiss you, but I can’t, and it’s driving me crazy. We need to take some time and try with other people, don’t you think? I can’t wait five years for you, Sam, and only see you on holidays and special occasions. I just can’t. Nobody can. I love you, and I hope you understand that this is best for both of us.”
I read the message a million times in the morning, trying to understand each word. Did he need time? Did he need to meet other people? Had he already met someone? Suddenly, Nick’s words hit me…
“They’ll end soon. Probably bringing forward the inevitable.”
How stupid I was; it was obvious he wouldn’t wait for me. Although I thought he would take a little longer to let me go… completely.
For some reason, I don’t feel any pain. I always thought that if this happened to me, I would cry my heart out, like the girls in the movies, but not a single tear fell.
“What do you want to do?” Nick asked, picking up the leftovers from the lunch we had ten minutes ago. I also got up to help him.
I didn’t tell him about the message; I didn’t think it was necessary for him to know, and he didn’t even seem like the typical girl with a broken heart.
“I don’t know… Movies?” He nodded with a smile. Lately, he was always smiling. “Which one?” I asked, sitting on the countertop.
Nick thought for a few seconds, looking at me sitting there, and something changed in his expression.
“Any one you want. We’ll rent it in a second.”
“Pride and Prejudice? I love that movie.”
“Yes, I’ve seen it. The book is much better, but it’s a good movie,” he said, impressing me quite a bit.
“For a guy, you like movies and books.”
Nick let out a small chuckle. “It’s a romantic novel, still romantic, but from the Romanticism era. Not the same thing.”
I’m even more impressed. Who would have thought you were interested in those things? I have all the books of Jane Eyre and reviews of them printed out among the library I had just finished organizing in my room; they were just talking about Romanticism and the romantic genre.
“Smart Benson, well done.”
Nick bit his upper lip, hiding his smile. It was a cute gesture. He approached and began washing the dishes next to me.
When he finished, I crouched to grab a napkin that was in a corner. I stood up, and I froze. Nick was too close, knowingly.
“What are you doing?” I whispered, trying not to lose my sanity.
He began brushing his lips against mine, and I knew that was his answer. When I collided with the countertop in the middle of the kitchen, I knew I had no escape.
I desire him. I desire him so much… I need him now.
But I still can’t forget the fact that he’s my stepbrother. I can’t forget the fact that just a couple of hours ago, Martin broke up with me. I shouldn’t want him… I shouldn’t want him this much. I shouldn’t be this close to him now.
He took both hands to each side of my hips and squeezed, strong and firm, without a hint of nervousness. It almost killed me.
“Nick, we can’t,” but at the same time, my hands went to the top of his pants, seeking his hips.
Nick looked into my eyes so deeply that I almost melted; then he focused his eyes on my mouth and placed one of his hands on my waist, pulling me closer to his body. Our breathing was so fast and soft; we both craved more air.
“We can, we shouldn’t, but we can and want to,” It was a whisper that made my whole body shiver.
I put my hand on his neck and pulled him closer, but he resisted getting closer, and I froze. Did he not want to anymore? I didn’t understand, and I felt stupid for making the first move. Then he gave me a flirtatious smile, bit his lower lip, and took his hands off my body. I thought the jerk was laughing at me until he proceeded to grab both sides of my face with his hands and wildly press his lips against mine, making me moan from the contained need my mouth had to feel his lips. The kiss was soft, sweet, and forbidden.
At that moment, I forgot that we were stepbrothers. I forgot about Martin. I even think I forgot my own name.
Unconsciously, I bit his upper lip, and I heard a small groan coming from his mouth. A few seconds later, the kiss became deeper. His tongue entered my mouth, and I responded.
Nick put his hands on my waist and pulled me closer to him. I wrapped my legs around his hips. He slid his hands under my blouse, gently caressing my back until he reached the clasp of my bra. I felt a strange tingle in my stomach and pressure between my legs. My body started to heat up, and my panties got wet; I could feel it.
I had never felt like this in my life. It felt incredible but strange at the same time. He lifted me while still kissing me. He took a few steps to the living room, and we laid on the couch.
Nick stayed on top of me, continuing to kiss me and touching me in places where no one had touched me before. He made my skin burn wherever he touched me. His caresses were hard to follow; sometimes they were delicate, soft, and loving. Other times, they were strong, exciting, possessive, and desperate.
My hands began to act on their own, hesitatingly resting on Nick’s stomach. They went down to his belt and passed the layer of fabric from his shirt, touching his scar-filled back and gripping with my nails while his thigh pressed against my crotch. Nick tensed under my caresses and moaned against my mouth.
He parted his lips from mine to look me in the eyes. We were breathing very fast, and Nick, still gazing into my eyes, put his hand on my cheek and started caressing it.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” Nick murmured, resting his forehead against mine.
I couldn’t respond; I was still shocked and didn’t really know how to respond to that. I wanted this too, though I didn’t want to admit it. But I’m not sure if he means that he wanted to do this since I arrived a few days ago or long before. It’s impossible for him to have thought about doing this when we were kids. I mean, he did, he kissed me, but did he keep thinking about me when I left? All these years, did he keep thinking about me? It’s been a long time…
“Samantha, I think…” Nick began to say when we heard the door open and slam shut. The last thing we needed was for someone to see us in this situation.
“Nick! Where are you?” Nick immediately got up from the couch when he heard his aunt yelling from the door.
What a strange timing, Olivia ruining the moment and forcing me to think about what I just did.
Nick looked at me, and moving his lips, he said: “We’ll talk later,” or at least that’s what I understood.
I got up from the couch, still breathing heavily and surely as red as a tomato. I ran to the bathroom at the end of the hallway and closed the door.
I leaned my head against the wood and gave it a couple of knocks. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
But what have I done? How am I supposed to face Nick now? I’m so dumb! This is all my fault; I kissed him. I should have left. Not give in to desire.
I hugged myself, and I realized I still had goosebumps on my arms. I raised my shirt a bit and saw red areas on my stomach. I turned around, and my back was covered in them. Did I grip that hard?
They don’t hurt. I just feel warmth in them and more desire for him to touch them, each one of them, and if possible, more. I want him to do it.
I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to remember what stupid idea came to me to kiss Nick. But I got nothing. When he got close to me at the counter, it was all Nick; everything around us was distorted, and there was only him. Looking at me, touching me, kissing me.
My face heated up again, and I ran my hands over my face. How could I let him touch me like that? Not even Martin had touched me like that.
I had never gone as far as Nick and me did. I told him I wasn’t ready yet. That I needed time. And now it’s all gone?
I have to end this.