Henry.
“No, Henry. Everything will be fine.”
“Don’t you think it will look suspicious?” I say as she puts on her sneakers. It’s so strange to see her waking up with me, changing in my room, looking at me without wanting to kill me… Yes, all very strange.
I accompanied her to buy clothes this morning, she withdrew money from the bank, and she told me that she has been saving money in a private account for years. It seems she wasn’t that confident with Dave… She knew or suspected that she wouldn’t last long with him.
She also asked about my car, a Crossover. I didn’t know how to answer her. I want her to know about my profession, but not yet; I’m not sure if she’ll be very pleased with it.
“Dave isn’t stupid. He’ll know that the only issue isn’t just the wedding. He’ll realize that something else is bothering you, and when you leave, he’ll become suspicious. Besides, him seeing me in the car… it will be too obvious, Anna. Why don’t you just tell him right now that you don’t want to be with him?” I continued to say as I leaned against the bedroom door frame.
She gets up and walks over to me. She brushes a part of my hair that’s covering my eye and tucks it behind my ear. I need a haircut urgently.
“He won’t suspect, and you won’t go with me. And… I’m not ready to tell him yet,” she says almost in a whisper. I can see the disapproval on my face.
She rolls her eyes and walks over to the bed, then throws herself face down on it, clearly showing her annoyance at my persistence.
“Excuse me? What do you mean I won’t go with you?” My voice came out shriller than I expected. I could stay silent, wait for her to bring Jeremy here without causing too many problems, but there’s an issue. I’m not letting her go alone knowing that Dave is there and could react in any way.
“No, you won’t go. He’ll figure it out if you do,” she says into the pillow. I find her teenage-style arguments funny. It’s as if I’m not letting her go to a party, and now she’s gone into a sulk.
“And what? Do you plan on carrying your things and Jeremy’s by foot? No, forget it, Anna.” I sighed, and my gaze went to her back and then down to her low waist… It’s so easy for a man to get dressed, especially with her around. I’m a living erection.
“I still hate it when you call me Anna, trying to show that you’re serious. And I won’t go back and forth on foot, Williams, forget it. I’m going to use your car,” she starts to get up and gives me a winning smile.
“What does she mean?”
“Oh, no. Don’t get near my car,” I began to shake my head and walked into the living room, hoping that she would follow me.
“You won’t lend it to me?” she asks from behind me.
“I would if you knew how to drive,” I replied with a smile. I sat down on the couch, and she positioned herself in front of me. Since I’ve had her here, I don’t want to stop touching her or be away from her most of the time. Her presence calms me, stabilizes everything inside me.
“I can drive,” she pouts, and I take her lower lip, stretch it, and let it go.
“Well, I haven’t seen you with a car, I saw you walking to work the other day.”
“Dave bought me a car, I have it in the garage, I just never use it.”
So the idiot got her a car. Well, one point in his favor. I take the keys out of my pocket and hand them to her.
“It’s yours,” I simply reply and bury my face in her neck, kissing it. Her pulse quickens, but she doesn’t let it show too easily. She thinks I don’t notice what I provoke in her, but I do. It’s so obvious. Her beautiful, flushed cheeks turn a warm shade of pink, and her breathing is heavy and fast at the same time. And I can feel her heart racing.
“Henry, this isn’t a competition. I don’t need a car to decide what I want for my life.” Her furrowed brow put me slightly on alert.
“It’s yours,” I repeated.
“Henry… Seriously, I don’t like this; it feels like you’re buying me. That’s why I don’t use the one Dave gave me; I didn’t want it, never did,” she tries to get up from my lap, but I hold her tighter and kiss her forehead.
“Can it be ours?”
She looks at me for a few seconds, serious, then she gives in and nods, her smile could brighten anyone’s day; it’s so beautiful.
“Okay,” she kisses my cheek, and the only thing on my mind is cuddling with her all day. But my desire to see Jeremy wins as well.
When Anna got up to leave, I realized something.
“Anna, wait, don’t you think it’ll be suspicious if you show up with a new car?” I asked, walking outside with her.
“Savings, babe,” she replied, taking my hand.
“That car cost 750 thousand dollars, do you have those savings, babe?” Her face went pale. She wanted to speak, but all she could manage was…
“How much?” I shrugged and winked at her.
“God, please tell me you’re not into anything illegal.”
“Come on, let’s go get Jeremy,” I tell her, laughing and trying to drop the subject.
“You didn’t answer.”
“When we get back, I’ll tell you where I got the money, okay?”
“Alright, but I told you not to come with me.”
“We’re going together. I’ll hide in the back seat, and you’ll say I lent you the car to get your things.”
“It’ll be suspicious.”
“That your friend did you a favor? Seriously? Is that suspicious? And if you want it not to be, then go and tell him the truth. Problem solved.”
“Henry…”
“What? What’s the problem, Ann? I won’t hurt you again, that’s a given, so it doesn’t make sense not to tell him you’ll spend the rest of your life with me, is it that difficult…?”
“It’s not about you, Henry; it’s about me! Can you understand me a bit?! I don’t know if I can be with you in the end of all this; I don’t know if you’ll make me happy or unhappier than I already was! I don’t know if I can forget! I don’t know anything, Henry! So please stop pressuring me!”
“Wow, that hurt.”
And it’s serious. It hurt. I’m pressuring her, I know, it’s already quite a feat that she wants to stay with me, but… damn, I need her to be mine. I know she already is, but she has a fear safety net, if she gets scared, if she even hesitates, I know she’ll leave without a fight, and I don’t want that. I need her to fight. It’s what I want the most.
“Well, it’s the truth. If you don’t like it, I can pack my things and leave here, never to return. You decide.”
“Do you want to leave?”
“Are you stupid or what?! I don’t want to leave! But if you can’t accept that I’m not the same Anna from five years ago, the one who loved you blindly and did everything for you, I’ll leave. I’m not her, she’s already gone, she doesn’t exist.”
“You know well that’s a lie, Ann. You’re still there; you’re just afraid of getting hurt again.”
“And with good reason! You know our history, Henry! You know it!”
I cupped her cheeks with my hands and kissed the tip of her nose, trying to calm her.
“I’ll tell you and show you a different story. It’s about a princess and an aspiring knight, also with a tiny prince who will bring them both the greatest joy. What do you say? Will you let me show it to you?” I whispered near her face. She closed her eyes and thought about what I said for a few seconds.
“Yes… but I’m not sure if I want to see the ending.”
“Once I told you that endings aren’t always happy, do you remember what you told me?”
I know she remembers every word, and I remember them too…
“His name is ‘Come Back to Me.’ It’s about a man who left his wife after realizing he didn’t deserve her. Years later, he returns, but she has changed, and so has he. He claims her again as his, but she no longer wants him.”
“How does it end?” she asks.
“I still can’t bring myself to read the ending,” I confess.
“Why?”
“I couldn’t bear it if they didn’t end up together. It would be the worst.”
“Endings aren’t always happy, Ann.”
“I know, but they are so imperfect together that they can’t be apart.”
“Are you listening to yourself?” She looks up, and I find her gazing at me with a mocking expression.
“It sounds crazy. But they’re two imperfections that together are perfect.”
“I told you I couldn’t stand it when the protagonists don’t end up together. They’re so imperfect together that they can’t be apart. Two imperfections that are perfect together.”
“Could you stand it if we didn’t end up together? If you’re aware that you found me, that I found you… Could you bear the fact that you let us go?”
“I don’t know.”
She does know. She’s afraid to say it out loud.
“If you know, you just don’t want to admit it.”
“Henry, stop. I don’t know how this will end, but I hope it ends well because if I’m aware that I love you, but today, I love myself more, and if I realize I can’t forgive you and stop torturing myself, thinking you’ll leave again, I won’t be with you anymore. I’d rather be unhappy without you than happy with you occasionally, only to have a storm cross my body when I see you walk out the door.”
“And I will come back for you every time you want to run to remind you that you love me and that you’ll trust me again.” I kiss her and smile against her lips. I can’t believe she has so little faith in us when I put my all into this.
“You drive me crazy,” she says, tangling her hands in my nape.
“You love me.”
“Do I, really?”
We start kissing, I pull her closer to my body, and my hands slide down to her backside. I don’t miss the opportunity to squeeze it.
“Hold on there, tiger; we have to pick up my kid,” she says, breaking the kiss and walking to the car. I rush to her, embrace her from behind, and nibble on her earlobe.
“Our kid,” I murmur in her ear.
“Our kid.”