“Get comfortable?” Yes, that makes me even more tense.
“I don’t want to clarify anything with you. I want to go to my son. So call Alison to open the door right now, Henry.” My threatening eyes only elicit an incredulous smile from him.
“Let’s start from the beginning. What do you want to know?” he says, ignoring what I said. He sits on the sofa and crosses his arms.
“Where is your phone?” I reply, forcing a smile.
He raises an eyebrow and smiles. He spreads his legs and points to his crotch with his index finger.
“Do you want to look for it?” I ask, winking at him. It infuriates me how lightly he’s taking this.
The sooner I talk to him, the sooner I can leave. With that thought in mind, I reluctantly sit on the sofa across from him.
“How long will you let me go?” I ask, looking at the door, hoping that Alison would come in and save me from this conversation.
“When you talk to me,” he says seriously. I look at him, and his expression is not much different from the tone of his voice. The depth of his gaze makes my stomach scream with the butterflies that have been fluttering inside me.
“What are we doing?” I say, trying to hide the discomfort his gaze brings to my body. Trying to make him think that his eyes on mine don’t affect me, when the reality is that he’s slowly and torturously consuming me, wanting to curl up under his burning eyes all day and night.
“Acting like two teenagers,” he replies, scratching his neck, annoyed. “Right now, I want you to sit and tell me every question that passed through your little head at some point because I know there are many.”
There are, I just don’t know if I’m ready to hear his answers. And if I agree to ask them, it would mean that I truly care… What am I saying? He’s already well aware that I care. Last night, I didn’t hesitate to emphasize it over and over.
“What happened to your friend?” The words came out as a whisper. Maybe I didn’t want to admit that I surrendered, that I’m still strong in front of him, but I know it’s not true.
It’s funny; he’s the reason I became strong, yet he remains my only weakness.
“He died. He, he died of an overdose.” It surprised me to see that not a hint of pain crossed his expression. I don’t know if he was trying to hide that emotion from me, or if he genuinely didn’t care.
“Did you do drugs?”
“Not even once.”
Memories of the day he left flooded back… And the questions I’m about to ask are silly and of minimal importance, but they’re gnawing at me, and I want to know the answers.
“Will these questions never be remembered to be used against me?”
“No.”
Suddenly, Henry seemed interested, as he leaned in even closer, resting his elbows on his knees, and the frown reappeared on his face. I started picking at my nail cuticle and didn’t dare look at him when I said…
“Did you really plan to sleep with Kendra?” A stupid question, but the one that follows is even worse.
“No.” He responds, and I can almost feel his smile as he says those two letters.
“How many women did you sleep with after me?”
After this question, how do I show that I don’t give a damn? Right, there’s no way to deny that I care after this. I’m a fool. But I always was when it came to him, and it seems that now is no exception.
“None.”
When he said that, my eyes widened, and my astonished expression made him laugh.
“How?”
“Just what you heard, Anna. After being with you, I just… the thought of being with someone else disgusted me.”
I tried to ignore the comment that secretly warmed my heart and made my stomach do a flip.
“Poor you…” I gestured toward his crotch. Both of us laughed, and he leaned back against his sofa.
“You have no idea. The poor thing is suffering from withdrawal, and since I saw you, it’s gone crazy,” he bit his lip, and I wrinkled my nose.
“You’re disgusting,” I muttered, trying to sound irritated or as if his comment was out of line, when, in reality, it provoked certain sensations in areas where it shouldn’t.
“You started it, so have a little mercy and come,” I wanted to smack myself for being tempted to obey him.
“Drunk, maybe; sober, not a chance,” I tried to sound convincing, but I couldn’t convince myself of that.
“What did you say last night? ‘Drunk or not, I want you, Henry! Screw me, Henry!'” He tried to imitate my voice and exaggerated expressions.
“Shut up!” I could guarantee that I was redder than a tomato. My cheeks were burning, and I wanted to hide under a rock.
He started laughing heartily, and that tugged at my heart a bit. I love to see him laugh; it’s been a while, and I forgot the warm feelings his laughter brings to my body.
That only implanted another question in me, and I believe it’s the most important one.
“How could you come back? Why now?”
Everything got serious again; I saw pain cross Henry’s gaze, and I no longer know whether to believe that his feelings are truly genuine or just part of an act.
“The bastards who were controlling me… I paid off the debt, and with Levinston’s death, it was easier to leave… They lost your trail after you went on vacation to the United States a few months ago. They thought you’d moved there, but they never got any addresses. Without you on the radar, they had nothing to hold over me, so I left. I had no plans to find you, no way. I knew you’d kick me out as soon as you saw me, but Alison and I ran into each other in England. She told me you were getting married before saying ‘Hello,’ then she took care of beating me up and demanding explanations. I gave them to her. She said I was still an asshole, and believe me, now I know I should have run away with you, but I didn’t want you to spend a lifetime running away with the jerk who only made you cry and…”
“Stop!”
Damn it… Too many things to process. I don’t even want to hear more because I know that whatever is said can change everything, for me, for him… for both of us.
“No, I need to tell you everything, Ann. Listen, I didn’t want to leave, okay? I loved you, I love you with everything I have, and believe me when I say I never wanted to let you go, but I couldn’t ask you to sacrifice yourself for me…”