“I don’t know. I changed my name. Maybe… maybe he saw my picture somewhere. I don’t know.” The shiver that’s been creeping up my spine spreads over every pore of my skin, raising goosebumps that make me wrap my arms around myself. “He must recognize me from a picture, it’s not like I’m that easy to find by my old name.”
“Don’t I know that,” Xavier mumbles under his breath.
Suddenly, any energy I have left in my body is gone. I feel my body sway and I fall back against my headboard.
“Malynda!” I hear him call my name, but I can barely open my eyes. I haven’t thought, really thought, about that night in years. Having to live through it all again, telling the one person I never wanted to know, it’s taken everything out of me.
“I’m okay. I just… I just want to sleep. Please.”
“Malynda…” he calls me again, but this time, it’s like through a wind tunnel. And his voice, his face, everything is fading into air.
“Xavier…” I try to say, and it’s the last thing I hear before everything does quiet.
***
“You fucking bitch! Don’t you fucking dare tell anyone about this or I will kill you. I will find you and kill you! Don’t you ever set foot into my dance studio again!”
I’m shaking my head as I run. The only thing giving me relief is his voice getting quieter the further I run. He’s not behind me.
But he’s always there; everywhere I turn, I can see his face.
“I’m back!” His voice is taunting me.
My ballet shoes appear in front of me, a hundred, no, a thousand of them scattered all over the floor.
“I will find you and I will kill you.”
His voice is getting louder now.
“No!! Leave me alone!!!” I scream, so loud my throat burns.
“Shhh. You’re okay…. you’re safe, I promise, you’re okay,” I hear a soft female voice say and something cool and wet on my forehead. It instantly soothes me and quiets the voice and images in my head and I feel myself grow calm. “Get some more sleep, I’ll be right here,” the sweet voice says again. I obey, and feel myself fall back into the quiet darkness.
***
I’m not sure where I am and what time of day it is when I open my eyes. My head is throbbing and I rub my temple for a moment as I try to figure out where I am. I don’t recognize the place. It’s dark though and warm. I feel comfortable in this strange bed. And safe. And really, really thirsty.
I notice a glass of water on the table by the side of the bed and turn on the light as I sit up and reach for it. The first sip of water feels like a crystal-clear lake trickling through my brain. Bliss. There’s a knock on the door and I freeze.
“Um, yes? Hello?” I say, hesitantly.
“It’s Jade, can I come in?”
The sense of relief that floods my body is almost enough to ease the pounding in my head.
“Yes, of course, please.”
The door opens slowly and Jade’s friendly face appears through the gap.
“I don’t want to bother you, I just wanted to see how you’re doing.”
“Come in, please,” I say, patting the bed. I actually prefer her company to being alone right now.
“Okay,” she says and comes to sit by the side of the bed. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m… okay, confused.” I laugh a little, but it jars my head and my hand involuntarily comes up to cradle my left temple.
“Oh, you have a headache. I’ll go get you some Tylenol.” She starts to move but I reach out, touching her arm.
“No, please, stay. I’ll be okay. Where am I?”
“Oh! I’m sorry, you probably haven’t seen this room. This is the guest room in our apartment.”
“Yours?”
“Yes. We used to have two but we converted one into a nursery. My brother, Gabriel, spends some nights a week here so it’s his stuff in that closet. Is there anything you need? Another pillow? Are you warm enough?”
Something in the way she sounds, it’s so sincere, I instantly burst into tears.
“Oh my God! Are you okay?” she says, startled at my sudden sobs.
“I’m okay,” I say, hiccupping through the tears. “You’re just being so nice to me. I’m sorry, I must be feeling really emotional. What am I even doing here?”
“Well, Xavier called me and brought you over here. He told me about your apartment and wanted to make sure you had a safe place to stay while he called the police and tried to sort out what happened.”
“Xavier?”
“Yeah, he and Kaine went over to your apartment. I’m sure they’ll call when there’s some information. You must be so scared. Xave told me what happened.”
I look up, startled, surely he hadn’t shared everything. He and I hadn’t even really had a chance to talk about it. “He did? What did he say?”
“Well, he said that he had taken you home and the place was an utter mess, like someone had gone through all of your things. He said you were really upset, so he didn’t want to leave you alone while he dealt with the police. So he brought you here.”
“Oh.” Maybe, hopefully, that’s all he said.
“You must be so devastated, I can’t imagine being violated like that. I love my home, if anyone ever came into it, I don’t know what I’d do.” Her words make me remember the state of my home and it causes a new rush of tears. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No, no, I’m just… I’m feeling a little emotional.” I try to wipe away the influx of new tears.
“Totally understandable! Do you want something to eat?”
“Um, I think… if you don’t mind, I’m going to try to sleep some more.”
“Of course, I’ll let you rest. If you need anything, I’ll be right outside.” She looks at me for a moment, and then reaches over and pulls me into a hug. It’s tight and warm and reassuring, and exactly what I need at this moment. I wait until she pulls away.
“Thank you, Jade. I’m sorry to be a burden like this.”
“Nonsense. Hey, when you feel better, I’ll tell you about my own experience with being brought to this room by Xavier. It’s a good story.” She winks and grins and I smile for the first time since this all happened.
“And, um, can you… um, if Xavier calls or comes here, please wake me up. I want to see him.”