Here one day and gone the next.
Not once though, did it occur to me to go home.
My only home had been with her.
With nowhere to go at night, I stayed out there, on the streets. Showing her picture to anyone who would stop long enough to look.
I knew, I knew no matter what that letter had said, she had not fallen for someone else and left. I was more inclined to believe that she’d murdered someone in cold blood, than betray me.
Now twelve years later, my gut instinct has been proven right though it feels like now there are just more questions. And she’s unwilling to give any answers.
The kiss on her birthday told me everything I need to know, though. That she’s still in there, the girl I knew. And that she’s just waiting for me to coax her out.
“Xavier! Watch out!” Gabriel shouts at me from across the warehouse and I move just in time to get out of the way of the guy in the hard hat and his wheelbarrow filled with broken bits of wall.
We’re deep into the renovation for the youth center now, the inside of the warehouse being gutted so that we can construct some new partitions and office areas. Gabriel, Jade’s brother, is in charge of overseeing the day-to-day operations at the warehouse as it’s converted. He’s done well staying clean since coming out of his stint in rehab a year ago. With a seemingly renewed purpose in life, this dedication to the youth center seems to be giving him something concrete to build his life on.
“Thanks, man!” I yell across the room and he gives me a thumbs up before turning back to the foreman and the plans laid out in front of them.
“Um, hello. Is Jade here?”
The voice makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up and I don’t need to turn around to know who it is.
“No. What do you need?” I say, my voice flat as I address Cameron.
He waves a roll of paper in his hand. “Isabella asked me to drop this off here.”
“I’ll take it.” I reach out and Cameron pulls his hand back.
“I’d really rather it go directly to Jade.”
His petty tone riles me up even more. “Seriously? Because I can direct you exactly where to go.”
“Woah. What’s your problem, man?”
“Nothing. Just give me the damn thing. I’ll make sure she gets it.” I rip it out of Cameron’s hand and stare at him, daring him to protest.
“Fine,” he shrugs, “saves me a trip uptown.” He holds up his hands and backs away. Just as he’s almost out the door, he spins around and faces me again.
“You know, I’m just trying to work with the Ash Foundation here. If you don’t want that, maybe you should tell them they can find someone else, willing to provide all this service for free.”
Great. Threats. Where did Malynda find this asshole?
“It’s not you whose services we require. It’s Isabella’s.” I hiss.
“Well, she and I are one.” He stares me down
Don’t fucking remind me.
“As I understand, you’re the paper pusher, and she’s the one who does the work that we’re actually looking for. So, maybe next time, she can come down here herself.”
He tilts his head, tapping on his mouth like he’s thinking. Well, think faster asshole, and fuck off. “You know, I’ve known Isabella for almost twelve years now.”
The twitch at my jaw is the only thing that gives away how much I want to wail on this guy right now. I just stare at a point just an inch above his forehead. Breathe, Xavier. Just breathe. He’s not worth it.
“What I mean by that is, I know her. Better than anyone else in the world. And that’s just to say, I’m pretty sure if she wanted to come down here, where she knows you’d be, she wouldn’t have sent me. Just something to think about. Have a good day. Send Jade my love.”
Her
Somehow I’ve managed to stay away from Xavier for almost a week. One of the longest weeks of my whole fucking life.
I didn’t see him, I didn’t call him, I didn’t text. All questions for his apartment, I send through to his work email address and someone nameless replies. But I don’t think it’s him.
After the bombshell he left me on my birthday, it was probably best that we had some time apart. Truth is, after he kissed me, I wasn’t quite sure if I could stop him if he wanted something more.
Of course, he wants something more. If I’m honest, so do I.
He isn’t the only one living in a perpetual state of suspension. From the moment I saw him again at the fundraiser, it feels like there are parts of my body, my mind, that has come out of hibernation. Even apart, we seem to have been living parallel lives.
But you can’t do this, you can’t be with him. There’s a reason you pushed him away then and nothing has changed that reality. Don’t do this to yourself.
It feels like I’ve been telling myself that on loop for the last five days. And apparently, I don’t listen.
The doorman opens the door and tips his hat. He’s used to me coming in and out the last few weeks as I’ve worked on Xavier’s apartment. I use the security keycard Xavier gave me to have access to his apartment to let myself and the delivery men in and press 31 on the panel.
I run my hands down my red dress as the elevator creeps up to his floor. I don’t even know what I’m doing here. I don’t have any business to discuss with him. I just couldn’t stand another day of not seeing him.
I take a deep breath and step into his living area.
Someone crashes into me, knocking me to my feet, temporarily winding me.
“Oh! Shit! Sorry!” She holds out her hand and I take it, letting her pull me to my feet.
The woman is striking. Tall, redheaded, dressed in a pantsuit that looks like it was custom made for her. Every inch of her perfect body.