He smirks and lifts the dome with a dramatic flourish; revealing a much bigger cupcake under it.
“My turn!” he exclaims, and lifts the cupcake to his mouth.
“No! HEY! It’s MY birthday, you have to share!”
“Oh no, someone once told me, ‘one does not share their cupcakes!'” He lifts it up and waves it in front of me. I reach out and grab it, tearing half of it off and stuffing it quickly into my face. Xavier gasps and jumps up off his chair and runs over to me. Before I can move away, he pushes what’s left of his cupcake against my face.
“No! Help! Cupcake attack!” I yell and run from the table, brushing the crumbs and frosting off my face. He chases me down and grabs me by the hips, spinning me around to face him.
Those eyes.
Those deep green eyes.
How could I forget what it was like to lose myself in them?
Our laughter fades into the night, and my breath stops completely as he lowers his mouth onto mine, kissing me deep.
He tastes like red wine and chocolate.
Or is that me?
I don’t know. All I know is I can’t stop kissing him.
My fingers run through his hair and my chest is pressed against his, feeling every hard inch of him.
“Oh, Malynda,” he whispers against my mouth.
And for a moment I forget that’s not my name any more.
His tongue grazes against my lower lip, and his cheek is deliciously rough against mine.
Need for breath forces us apart, finally. My fingers instantly coming up to touch my lips.
They feel different already.
He leans forward again, but this time, I stop him.
I shake my head, and hope that that’s enough.
He sighs and rests his forehead against mine, waiting for our breath to steady before he pulls away and stares out into the night, resting his hands on the wall’s edge, keeping us from falling off the roof.
“There were more stars out last time. On your birthday. It’s almost like it’s a different sky.”
I look up, aware that our arms are still touching, my skin raising into goosebumps.
“Same sky. Different city. Too much light here, I guess. It’s not Maine.”
“Have you been back?” he asks.
And I answer honestly, “No. You?”
“Not once.” I hadn’t expected that. I didn’t know what I was expecting. “Not even when my Dad died and he was buried there.”
“Can I ask you something?”
He nods.
“Why did you buy your old family home?”
“Because I could.”
I’m not surprised. Xavier has never been lacking in pride. I understand that more now than back then how hard it must have been for him to live in the circumstances he did.
“Is that where your mom still lives?” I ask, not sure how much he wants to talk about it.
“No. She lives here now. She’s been here for about seven years. I moved her here as soon as I could. ”
“And the boys?”
“All here as well. Well, Brian’s serving.”
“Wow. Things are different,” I sigh.
He turns to me, brushing a hair off my face. It sends a shiver through my body. “What about your parents?” he asks. And he has every right to.
“Um, they moved.”
“I know.”
I must look confused, so he explains. “I went to them first, when I got your letter, when you changed our plans. They didn’t know anything. And trust me when I tell you, I hounded them. It took me a long time to believe them. And, er, then when I looked them up again a few years later to see if there was anything new they could tell me, they had moved. Didn’t leave a forwarding address. I couldn’t find them. I tried. I tried everything to find you.”
I just nod. I don’t know what else to say. I don’t know how to tell him that I’d kept my secrets from them too, that it took me years to get back in touch with them. That my life has been a complete and utter mess. And since I left Maine, I haven’t been as happy as I am right this very moment.
We’re quiet. Each lost in our own memories.
“So, um, why didn’t you go back more often?” I wonder.
“Honestly?”
“Why not?”
He faces me, and I know what he’s about to say might hurt me as much as it hurts him. “I never left because I didn’t want to miss running into you. From the moment I got your letter, I’ve been looking for you. I didn’t know where you were in the world, but if it was here, then I wasn’t ever going to leave in case today was supposed to be the day I’d find you. And I was right.”
“You’ve really been here all this time?”
“Yeah, I mean, I roughed it on the streets for a while after I used up all my savings. Then a guy I met took pity on me and took me in, trained me up and got me a job as a bouncer. I kept getting into fights, though and one particularly bad night Kaine came across my sorry ass, scooped me out of the gutter, cleaned me up and put me in law school. And here we are”
“Good thing you met him then.”
“He saved my life.”
“I’m… I don’t know what to say, Xavier. I didn’t know that this is what would happen.”
He shrugs. “I was lucky. I met good people.”
Lucky him, I think. Luckier than I was.
“So, do any of my confessions buy me some of yours?”
“Not tonight, Xavier. Please. Just let me enjoy this. Enjoy you. Us.”
He nods.
“Can I just ask one question? You can reply or not.”
“You can.”
“Do you miss dancing?”
I tell him the utter truth. “The only thing I miss more than dancing is you.”
Somewhere out there, it’s time for someone to finally go home, and a light turns off on the Empire State Building.
“I guess I should go home,” I sigh.
“Okay, let me call the car,” he says, giving in easier than I thought he would.
I stare down looking at the lines of cars on the street as he dials his phone.
All this time, we’ve been just circling this city, never meeting. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d known he was here the whole time. I honestly didn’t think he would be. I guess it was fair to think he might’ve come to look for me. But I thought he would’ve left, once he couldn’t find me, that he would just give up.
But he stayed to find me. And he did.
Was it fate? Serendipity? Pure luck?
I may never know, but I can’t help but think that it’s better we found each other now than then. He wouldn’t have wanted to find me twelve years ago. Then it wouldn’t have just been my life that was ruined, but his as well.
“Car’s just around the corner,” he says, coming back over to join me, taking a sip from his wine glass and handing it to me.
I take it from him, our eyes locking over the glass rim.
My last birthday’s memories with him sustained me for twelve years.
I wonder how long it will be before I would forget this one.