I squeeze my eyes shut. I’m not sure why his words hurts so much since I already thought they were together. But having him say it out loud makes it ten times worse.
“I’m sorry,” he says hoarsely. “It was a moment of poor judgement. Let me make it right.”
“I knew getting involved with you would hurt me too much,” I whimper.
“It doesn’t have to.”
“Did you sleep with her?”
“No,” he says firmly. “Absolutely not. I came close to kissing her but stopped it. That’s all. Let me wipe the slate clean. Even touching Gemina was a fuck-up. Blaming you for what happened with Daniel was a massive fuck-up. I couldn’t see the wood from the trees. The fear of losing Daniel made me irrational. I’m sorry.” Guilt flits across his face. “What happened with Daniel wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I should have been watching my own son. I was hurt and lashed out at you. Forgive me, Elly. I don’t handle stress related to my son well.”
“I don’t understand. I thought Daniel’s real dad was a one-night stand.” He stiffens when I say real.
“But I saw him at the hospital.”
His head drops, shoulders sagging. “I found out something a few weeks before you started Madison. It broke my heart. A couple years ago, I found out Daniel wasn’t my son. I had come to terms with that, it didn’t change anything. As long as Daniel’s paternal dad was faceless, I could deal with it. I forgave her and for over a year I tried to save my marriage.” He swallows hard in his throat. “But it wasn’t just a one-night stand. Gemina lied. She had been having an affair on and off for four years with her mentor. The man I had introduced her to, to get her career moving. He’s the birth father.”
I stare at him for a long beat. No wonder he is so troubled about his son. “But now… she wants you back?”
“Apparently, yes. She doesn’t know what she wants. That’s Gemina. She said she’s made a mistake. She wants us to be a family again. It’s irrelevant. I love you.”
My lips tremble hearing the words for the first time. These are the words I’ve longed to hear but… “Gemina will always have a hold over you. You won’t choose me over Daniel and I don’t expect you too.”
“I’ll figure it out. I can’t be with Gemina just to see my son. Just like we will figure out how to handle your IBD. Together.”
I bite by lip hard to stop my face from screwing up with tears.
A bell rings at reception meaning we have ten minutes left of visiting time. “It’s probably best that you…” I start.
He nods. “Can I visit you tomorrow?”
“No,” I say in a hard whisper. “You don’t get to waltz in and out of my life whenever you choose. I need time.”
Looking flustered, Tristan rubs the back of his neck. As if for once he has no idea how to handle a situation. Even when Daniel overdosed, he panicked but remained in control. “I’ll give you all the time in the world.”
Silence fills the space.
“Where are you living?” I ask.
His lips twitch. “In one of Jack’s smart apartments. Just until I buy somewhere else.” “How’s that?”
“Things keep beeping in the kitchen. They’re doing my head in. Less for Natalia to clean though so she’s happy.” Hr nods to my tray of compartmentalised dinner scraps. “How’s the food?” I let out a weak snort. “They ran out of horse tartare so I ended up going for the beef hotpot.” When he leans over to kiss my forehead I stiffen but don’t pull away.
He leans so close to my ear, for a moment I think he’s going to kiss it. “I love you, Elly. I fall a little more in love with you every day. Don’t give up on us.”
Rustling on the other side of the curtain snaps me out of my daze.
“I think they are wrapping up,” I hear Megan’s whisper on the other side of the curtain. Good,” Frank mutters. “Because it’s nearly into penalties.”
31
Tristan
Elly was released from hospital this afternoon. Now she has the rest of the week off on sick leave. She’s still requesting I give her space. I should be handed a medal for my restraint in not pounding down her door. It’s killing me not being able to see her.
Instead, I spend my free time researching ways to control IBD. The responses range from prescribed drugs to healers, fortune tellers, and magic potions. She was right, there is no magic cure, no quick fix. This will take time. But it’s time I’m willing to invest. Especially since this is all my fault.
At least she let me move her into one of Jack’s apartments. It’s near the hospital in Waterloo where she has been referred to as an outpatient. I know she must be bad if she’s so fearful of being on public transport she swallowed her pride and let me relocate her. I fibbed and said Madison healthcare would cover it.
Megan needed no convincing to move into the penthouse apartment and I think Elly didn’t have the strength to fight her.
Considering my thoughts are preoccupied with Elly, I’m mildly regretting agreeing to take Mum out for dinner this evening but it’s already too late. George has picked her up from St. Albans and he’s on his way to my apartment.
“Daniel,” I call down the hallway. “Are you ready for dinner with Granny?”
“Almost,” he shouts back from his bedroom. I walk down the hall and knock once on the door then push it open. He’s naked except for a superman cape around his shoulders. Bloody hell.
“That’s not what I would call almost.” I shake my head, stifling a laugh. I would let him away with blue murder right now so long as I can see him. I had to beg Gemina. “Can you get dressed please into something sensible? She’ll be here any minute now.”
He pulls the cape off with a flourish and sets it over a pile of something colourful on the ground.
I frown, bending down to find a bag of sweets under it.
“Where did you get those?” I ask sharply. That’s way too much sugar for him.