“Matthias didn’t trust you because of me. I’d done nothing but talk about all the ways you weren’t to be trusted that when it came time to make a choice, all he heard was my voice. And for that, I’m sorry.
I see you’ve changed, Clarissa. And I trust you now. I’m so sorry it took so long.”
I’m scared to breathe in case I wake up from this dream. “What are you trying to say, Damien?”
“I’m saying that Matthias loves you so much, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. I’m saying that he’s hurting, not from anything you’ve done, but because he hurt you. I’m saying that for the part I played in that, I’m sorry. And so much has happened between us that I don’t know if we can ever be friends again. But that I hope we can. Because if my brother had to choose between you and me. I know who he’d choose. He loves you. He’s always going to love you. And he fucked up, but haven’t we all?”
He gives me a look that takes me back eight months. Sitting there with him at a Sydney rooftop restaurant, about to make the biggest mistake of my life.
It’s been a long time getting here, but even Damien doesn’t see me as the same person anymore. And I don’t know if I could’ve gotten here without Matthias. In the time we were together, he did nothing but make me feel like I could do anything. I miss that.
“I have anxiety attacks,” I blurt out. “I’ve always had them, but they get worse when… when I left Sydney. And I had a really bad one before Matthias was supposed to come to Australia. That’s the only reason he took me. I didn’t want to ambush your wedding.”
He sighs, tugging at a napkin. “Did you have them when we were together?”
I nod. “But nobody knew.”
“I’m sorry you couldn’t tell me. I was a bad friend.” Damien slides off the bar stool and tucks his hands into his pockets. “He didn’t tell me why he wanted you to come to Australia. He just told me that he couldn’t leave you. And that’s when I knew that what you two have… it’s real. Don’t waste it, Clarissa.”
And for a moment, we stand there, old friends, wanting the best for each other.
“Thank you, Damien. And… I need to say something. I should’ve said a long time ago.”
He smiles and stops me to say, “I’m sorry too.” He takes one last look around the club. “And I’m proud of you, Clarissa. You’re going to do amazing things.”
And when he leaves, for the first time in a long time, I wonder if there’s a chance for Matthias and me after all.
MATTHIAS
P
atrick Linzer faces charges of multiple counts of sexual assault. Investigators say they have been combing through an anonymous report containing evidence of years of Linzer’s treatment of sex workers and women he met on dating apps. He’s currently in custody and bail has been denied. This follows weeks of reports that Linzer’s firm is leaking funds after a mass exodus of his highest ticket clients. Stay tuned for updates.
I press the button on the remote and the TV fades to black.
“Well, I guess that’s that,” I say to Dmitrik over the phone. “Job well done.” “What’s next?”
“The same thing we’ve been working on for years. Clock’s ticking. We have six months left.” “I’m on it,” Dmitrik answers, hanging up the phone.
Hannah comes in, her face worried. Which is a rare sight.
“Your uncle just called. He’s called an emergency board meeting. They’re meeting in an hour; your brothers have all been informed.”
I’d expected this. After Terry Masters’s resignation two days ago, I’ve been waiting for Gerry to make his next move. The board is split, half in our camp, half firmly in Gerry’s camp.
It’s going to be a dog fight. And Gerry fights dirty.
“Call Paula. I need to see her five minutes ago,” I say, sitting up in my chair.
The corners of Hannah’s mouth twitch. She knows, she knows, I don’t give up without a fight either.
***
Half an hour later, Paula is standing at a podium in the lobby of the Baxter Tower, reporters surrounding her. “Guys, we’re going to start in just one minute, okay?”
She turns to me. “You sure you don’t want me to look over your statements?”
“Paula, they would require that I have written some down.” I grin. The look on her face is priceless, and I only hope that the bonus she gets when this is over will help her pay for the Botox from all the wrinkles I’ve given her this year. “I’m ready.”
She nods, and speaks into the microphone. “In light of the recent allegations about Mr. Matthias Baxter’s personal life, it is only fair that he gets a chance to respond. Please hold for questions until he is finished.” She steps off and gives my arm a tight squeeze.
As soon as I step in front of the microphones, the flashbulbs go off at double speed. It takes me a moment to adjust to the flashing lights in my face, but I can’t stand here forever. The longer I take to get to my point, the hungrier they’re going to be.
I take a deep breath and speak from the heart.
“I lied.” Well, that’s a good start. And I thought the flashbulbs were going off before. “I’m thirtyseven years old and up until a few months ago, I told myself I didn’t believe in love, I didn’t look for it, and I never expected that I’d find it. And I realize now that I lied. I lied to myself. I was just scared because I thought that I would never find the right person for me. It turns out she was right in front of my face the whole time.”
“I know you’ve heard so many stories about me being a playboy, about me breaking hearts everywhere I go. Well, that is only half true. I enjoyed the company of many amazing women, but no heart was ever broken. And if you hear that, then it’s not the truth.”
“But the media coverage was getting out of control, and with the Kids & Care IPO coming up, the focus was on me when it should’ve been about the company. Kids & Care has been consistently ranked as the best child’s care and pre-kindergarten service country-wide. We provide parents with peace of mind when they leave their children with us. And they know that at the end of the day, their children will be safe, well fed, have their emotional needs taken care of, as well as giving them ample opportunity to learn more about the world in a fun environment. There are so many things that we want to achieve with the company, take it into rural areas and lower socio-economic communities who deserve to have access to childcare they can trust as well so they can go to work without worrying.”