“Tell him, Clarissa, tell him you would not like to go on a date with him.” His voice is low, almost inaudible, but the message is clear. He’s jealous.
Emotion kicks up like a dust storm around the two of us, air cracking with electricity. When’s the last time I was this close to him?
“Tell him,” he repeats, eyes boring down on me. “Now.”
My hackles rise at the command. “You can’t tell me what to do, Matthias.”
“I’m not. I’m telling my fiancee she shouldn’t go on a date with another man. I shouldn’t even have to tell her. She should know.”
“I’m not y-” I don’t even get to finish the sentence; he grabs my arm and drags me to my feet. “Matthias!
It never took much effort for him to move my body into any position he wanted, but I’d never fought against him in bed before.
I struggle to pull my arm from his hold, he swings me around so that we’re face to face. Shoulders and chests heave from the effort of our struggle, and then his mouth is on mine.
The rest of the world burns away, leaving nothing but the two us, intertwined. He kisses me like he hasn’t seen me in a century, and in many ways, it feels that way. I wish we could stay like this, but the ever present hurt in my stomach intensifies with each second that we’re kissing. Because nothing has changed.
We are still Matthias and Clarissa, two people cleaving towards each other on opposite ends of the universe with no way to reach the middle without tearing ourselves apart.
Every part of my soul wants nothing except to fall into his orbit again, but the gravitational pull of my hurt keeps him just out of reach.
I can’t do this.
I push him away, my lips being the past of my body to pull away from him.
“You are my fiancee. You will be my wife. It’s fated. Don’t you understand that?” His voice howls with a pain I know is mirrored in my own heart.
“Matthias.”
His fingers press against my lips. “You are. If being married means being forever bonded to you, then I’m already your husband. Always and forever.” An arm snakes around behind me, and he molds his body to mine, brushing another kiss against my lips. “These lips are yours. My body is yours. My heart is yours. My life is yours. And I’m going to spend the rest of it showing you that no one will ever make you as happy as I’ll make you. And that no one will come close to making me as happy as you do.”
One more kiss, and he lets me go, trailing a finger down my cheek.
On the way to the door, he walks back to our table and lays a hand on Halifax’s shoulder. “Halifax. you’re a good guy. So, I’d appreciate it if you kept your hands off my fiancee. No matter what she says, she’s mine. ”
***
“Hi, Clarissa, it’s John here. Just letting you know that I’ve submitted your application for a business green card as Mr. Baxter has withdrawn the spousal green card application. I think we should have no problem; I’ve already gotten verbal confirmation that it will be processed today. They really don’t want too much scrutiny over that immigration agent taking bribes. I’ll call you with good news soon.”
***
“Mr. Baxter is here to see you,” Clementine says later that day, a glazed look in her eyes.
Which one?” I ask. Because it really could be any of them, and I’m done being ambushed in my own place of business. Unfortunately the glazed look in her eyes doesn’t help narrow it down They all have that effect on women on some level. Except Gerry. It’s definitely not him. “Um,” she says, her cheeks blazing. “I don’t know this one.” Okay, good, so it’s not Matthias either.
Kingsley is a force of nature, like a Greek god. A really good-looking, grumpy Greek God, so while women can’t take their eyes off him, he also scared him. If it was Kylian, Clementine would be laughing. It’s got to be Damien.
And I’m right.
“Damien. I’m surprised to see you here,” I say, walking into the club room.
He has his back to me, head tilting toward the ceiling. Turning slowly on his heel, he looks like he’s taking everything in.
“Clarissa, this place is remarkable,” he says, genuine surprise in his voice. I’m not offended. I’m surprised every day by this place. But I also know, I was only a very small part of what made it what it is. But getting a compliment from Damien Baxter is not really what I’m expecting today.
“What can I do for you?”
He looks at me unblinking. “I came to see you.”
“Well, you’ve seen me. What else?” I know I’m being rude, but I don’t really feel like standing there waiting to be accosted by my ex-fiance.
“Have you talked to Matthias?” he asks, throwing me off guard. “He said you’re not really returning his calls.”
I shake my head, not quite trusting my voice. “I ran into him a few days ago. He showed up at a meeting I was having. Again.”
“He’s a mess.”
Me too. “What are you doing here, Damien?” Apparently, that’s a question I’ll be asking the Baxter men until the end of time. “I’m very busy.”
“Can we sit somewhere and talk? Like, really talk?”
I know I shouldn’t. Nothing good can come of it. I know I should just tell him to fuck off and enjoy his married life. But I know it must’ve taken a lot for him to come here. And I like to think that teenage Clarissa, who followed him and his brothers around like a puppy dog, would never forgive me if I didn’t let her have this moment.
I gesture to the bar, and James discreetly makes himself scarce.
Before he even has a chance to say anything, I confess what I’ve been feeling. “I guess karma did a good job on me. Everything I did to you, happened to me. I actually…I feel relieved. Like I’ve paid back my debt. I know I have a long way to go to make myself a better person, Damien. But I’m working on it.”
He doesn’t say anything right away, just rubs his forehead the way he does whenever he’s trying to find the right words. Then finally speaks. “In Barossa Valley, the day before the wedding, when Matthias came to see me, I told him that even though he was my flesh and blood, My-Linh is my heart and soul. And that if I had to choose, it wouldn’t be him. I don’t know if he knew what I meant when I said that, or if he just thought I was making some grand statement to make a point. But… now, I think he knows. He’s experiencing it for himself.” He takes a breath. It’s the longest speech I’ve ever heard Damien give outside of a board room.
He continues, “He loves you. He loved you that day. I saw it on his face, he just didn’t know it yet. Sometimes… it takes something to happen for you to realize. Especially if you’re a Baxter. Eight months ago, you gave me that push. I’ve spent so much time resenting you, it blinded me to what you did for me. You’re the reason My-Linh and I made it. Sometimes it takes an outside source. So… that’s why I’m here. I’m that outside source.”