“Miss. Miss, we’re here.”
I jolt awake and stumble out of the cab and out onto the street outside of Malt. “Hey.”
Matthias.
It momentarily awakens me.
I never get used to seeing him. He’s a god, a goliath. Physical perfection. Emotions destroyer.
“What -”
“Really? Are we still doing that?” I can’t tell from his voice what he’s feeling right now.
I shuffle on my feet. They’re still aching from being on them all night. My eyes burn in my head, but I don’t think it’s from fatigue. It took an hour of driving around New York for my anxiety to ease enough for me to give the cab driver the address to the club. I’m so tired and can barely stand. “I had to leave. I didn’t want to hear what he was saying.”
Matthias nods. “He was out of line.”
“He said I was going to ruin your life. You didn’t argue. I didn’t know if you agreed or not. So I thought I’d make it easy for you.”
“You didn’t know if I agree that you’re going to ruin my life or not?” His voice is light, smooth, nothing in it to tell me what he’s feeling.
He steps toward me, and presses against me until even the thinnest sliver of light wouldn’t be able to squeeze between us. “Clarissa, I asked you a question. Do you think I think you’re going to ruin my life?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper, scared it might scare him away.
“Do you want to know the answer?”
I don’t.
I don’t think I can stand to hear any more truth tonight.
He grabs me by the shoulders and pushes me down into the alleyway. One more step and we fall into the shadows of the buildings.
Pinning me against the wall, his face moves to within an inch of mine.
“Ask me the question, Clarissa. You know you want to know.”
This close, I can’t say no to anything he asks. “Matthias, am I going to ruin your life?”
The palm of his hand cups my cheek, and I forget when there was a time when I didn’t want him.
“Darling, my sweetest torture, hellion of my heart, you already have.” Then he kisses me like there is nothing in this world but us.
Desperately, ravenously, painfully.
Like he’s trying to suck the hurt out of me, and breathe me back to life, forever branded by his breath in my lungs.
“You have already ruined me,” he growls roughly against my ear. “There is nothing that came before you, and there’s nothing that’s going to come after. I don’t know how, and I don’t know why, but in the last few days, you have become my everything.” His thumb leaves an imprint on my cheek when he grips my face, pulling me in for another kiss. “Nod if you understand, Clarissa.” But I don’t.
I don’t know if I believe him, and I don’t know if I want to.
I don’t know what it means. I don’t know what it means for now and I don’t know what it means for the future.
This was never supposed to happen.
These declarations, these kisses, these promises. They were never meant to happen. That’s why I thought I would be safe with him. The one person I never ever had to worry about complicating our relationship. But now, I don’t know how to return to a time when I wanted anything but Matthias’s mouth on mine.
He pulls away, his eyes deep and dark. “Tell me you believe me.” I shake my head. I can’t.
He kisses me again, this time like he’s punishing me, the taste of blood spreads in my mouth as his lips crush mine, his tongue ramming into my mouth, sweet, the lingering of cocktails he’d had at the bar.
He moans against my mouth, “You’re going to be the fucking death of me, my hellion.” And my resolve crumples into a pile of ashes in the inferno of our arousal.
He takes my hands and pins them over my head against the paint chipped wall, pressing his hardness into my stomach.
“Feel how hard you make me? Feel how you drive me fucking crazy? Do you think anyone has ever made me feel this way? Do you think I’ve ever stayed in bed with another woman while she slept next to me? Wondering what she’s dreaming about, if it’s me she sees?”
He pulls away and stares at me, his other hand pulling at my dress, bunching it around my waist as he unzips his pants.
Wetness pools in my panties, my body cleaving to the idea touching me.
“Do you think any woman drives me so mad, I can’t even wait to get her inside to fuck her?” He yanks my panties aside and drives his fingers inside me.
“Matthias…” I moan, my legs stepping apart to make room for him.
“Good girl,” he murmurs huskily, watching my face as he slides a second finger inside me, fucking me. “So wet already, my own little hellion, waiting for me to fuck her right here. Right now.”
“Fuck… yes,” another moan falls out of me. His words ignite a fire in me that blazes hotter than anything I felt I could withstand. I meet his fingers with a grind of my hips. I want to touch him, but his hands still pin mine over my head, and it makes everything more intense.
“You ready?”
“Ready?” I say through gasps, as his fingers curl inside me.
“Ready for me to destroy any doubt you ever had about me out of you?”
He lets go of my hands and there’s the faint sound of a foil wrapper tearing. I rest my head against the wall, waiting.
He lifts me up by my hips, hands gripping at my ass as he pulls me to him.
“Wrap your legs around me, Clarissa. Take my cock like a good girl.”
He slams me back against the wall and in one movement slides into me all the way, into the hilt. I’m so wet my thigh thighs slick with want, his cock still stretches me almost to my limit.
“Oh, god…” I moan, my pussy contracting and relaxing around him, making room for him inside me.
Sounds from the street mix with our breaths, he kisses me, and it’s like all other kisses in one. My legs pull him in tighter as he pulls out and slams back in.
The look in his eyes rake at my heart as he fucks me, without rhythm, with total abandonment.
“Yes, darling, god, you feel so fucking good. My cock belongs inside you, doesn’t it? This perfect little cunt was made for me. Ruining me. Fucking with my mind, fucking with my life. Ruin me, darling. Make me yours, you sweet demon from hell,” The words all roll into one. He thrusts into me with such force, I forget to breathe.