“Hellion.”
“Manwhore,” she spits back.
“Guilty.”
I can see she’s trying to think of a comeback when the elevator comes to a smooth stop and the doors open.
She’s about to step off the elevator when her eyes go blank.
And then her face floods with fear as I turn to see what’s she’s looking at.
Before I can step in front of her, he says, “What the fuck are you doing here?”
CLARISSA
I
think I’m going to throw up.
The retort I was about to fling at Matthias after he admitted being a manwhore chokes me.
“I said, what the fuck are you doing here?” Damien shouts, his face red, the grin that he had when the elevator doors opened, sliding off his face into an angry mask.
“Damien. Wait,” Matthias says, stepping in front of me.
“Wait for what? Don’t make me ask again.”
I take a step back into the elevator, my back up against the wall. Past Damien, I see Kingsley standing there, his face frozen in shock. But if Damien is usually quiet, Kingsley is practically mute. A man of the fewest words I’ve ever known.
“Damien, easy. Let’s go inside,” Matthias says, extending his hand behind him. What for, I don’t know. Is he trying to take my hand? Does he want Damien to actually kill me?
“What the hell am I waiting for?” Damien roars.
He tries to rush past Matthias, his finger pointing at my face. ” Clarissa, I told you to stay the fuck away from me and my family. You soul sucking, fucking bitch!”
Matthias shoves his brother, and Damien stumbles back into the apartment. “Hey! I said take it easy. I’ll explain everything, but you need to calm the fuck down, okay? I’m not going to let you talk to her like that.”
Damien’s face blanches, then flashes red again. “I’ll talk to her any way I want. In case you want me to remind you what she did to me. To us.”
“I know. You don’t need to remind me. But… we’re going to need to put that in the past, Damien. Because, Clarissa are I… we’re getting married…” Well. So much for breaking it to them gently.
Matthias turns to me, his eyes softening to reassure me, checking on me, taking charge.
“I’m sorry, what?” Kingsley finally speaks up, while Damien stares at Matthias.
“I said Clarissa and I are getting married. It’s going to be announced on Saturday, Paula leaked that we’re dating tonight.”
Damien clenches his fists and hisses at me, “What the fuck are you doing to him?”
“I’m not-” I speak for the first time. “This isn’t anything like that.”
“Then what the hell is it?” He pushes his face up into Matthias’s face. “You hate her, Matthias. You’ve always hated her.”
“Well, yes, I did.” Matthias agrees as he takes a step back to stand next to me. Maybe it’s for a united front, but frankly, I was okay with him shielding me from Damien, Damien, who’s always just waiting to erupt.
A traumatic childhood, so many pressures from his job, with no outlet, left him angry, brooding, and unreasonable when he was with me.
He’s never hurt me, but his anger is intimidating.
Matthias continues, “But I don’t anymore. Look guys, we’ll talk about this inside. It’s for the best, I promise.”
Damien narrows his eyes. “You’re making a mistake.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t think so.” I’m not sure I don’t agree with Damien about this. Maybe we have made a big mistake.
My ex snickers as he glances back at me with hatred. “Trust me, you are. You don’t know what she’s capable of.”
Somehow, Matthias remains calm as he responds. “I think I do.”
His composure lends me temporary courage. “Damien… I promise you, it’s not what you think.”
But all it does is stoke his fury. “I’m pretty sure I told you that I never want to see or hear you ever again. So, your promises are worth fuck all to me, Clarissa. I don’t know what spell you’ve put on my brother, but you listen to me, I’m not going to let you do to him what you did to me. Do you hear me? If I have to spend every last fucking dollar, every last second I have, I’m going to make sure he doesn’t fall into the same trap I did.”
Matthias holds his hand out, pushing on Damien’s arm. “Okay, that’s enough. I said stop it.”
Damien hisses again. I’ve never seen him this angry, not even when I screwed up his life. “You’re going to choose her over me? Really?”
“It’s not about choice, it’s about doing what’s best for us. And what’s best is us getting married.” “Do you love her?” he flings the question like a weapon.
Matthias stiffens.
“I said, do you love her?” Damien looks from Matthias to me and back to his brother.
“Damien…” Matthias says, his voice tight.
“Answer the fucking question, man! Are you marrying for love?”
Matthias doesn’t even look at me when he answers. “No. This isn’t about love. It’s about business.” The answer is clear, simple. Of course that’s the answer, I never expected him to answer any differently. But it stings, it more than stings, it slashes at me.
He reaches out to touch me, but I duck out of reach. “Clarissa-”
I don’t hear what else he has to stay. The air feels like incense burning my lungs, choking me.
Fuck.
No. Not now.
I can’t.
I can’t do this in front of them. Not Matthias, not again. And definitely not Damien.
My cells suck in whatever oxygen is left in my blood and with two hands, I push on Matthias’s back, shoving him out of the elevator and pressing a button on the elevator floor panel.
Matthias realizes too late what I’m doing and by the time he turns and tries to step back into the elevator, the door slam shut.
Breathe.
You can breathe, Clarissa.
But the claustrophobia kicks in and I dig my hands into the gap between the elevator doors, willing them to open, to let me out.
By the time they open in the lobby, I’m drenched with sweat, each breath feeling like a fight to the death. And I’m on the losing end.
I run out to the street, flagging down the first taxi. Collapsing on the seat, I say, “Drive. Anywhere, just go.”
And close my eyes, willing for escape.
***