-Both can be. It is beneficial for both parties. You don’t want to see me without concealer very often.
“You always look good to me.” With concealer, without concealer. Elegant dress, Harvey tracksuit. Straight hair – his hand greets me with a giggle – whatever it is. Does not matter. You are you.
I swallow hard and do my best not to melt into the floor.
“That’s probably what you tell all the girls, Gervais.
“No, Sunny. You are my only girl.
A clumsy laugh escapes my throat as I search for what I think is a close enough color. I do the same with a soft, bright pink blush and a smooth, black mascara.
Then I rush out of that hallway, hoping that Jasper will follow me and leave that awkward exchange behind.
But it’s a joke, because the next stop is underwear, and my wish came true.
Jasper followed me. Right behind me.
I look again at the shelf full of different cuts of black underwear.
High waist, bikini cut or thong? Or does your rule that everything suits me also apply here? I blurt out in an attempt to make this less awkward than it is in my head right now.
Failed. Things officially are no less awkward.
Jasper groans quietly and avoids eye contact.
“It applies,” he replies strangled.
When I look at him again, I can’t miss the pink stain on his cheeks, and I laugh, shrill and forced, really trying to save myself after what I just asked him out loud.
Then I buy a pack of thongs and a matching bra, avoiding Jasper’s eyes as I head to the checkout. Within minutes we’ve paid and we’re back in his SUV, heading wordlessly toward the city, the place neither of us wants to be.
I see Jasper skate out of the mouth of a huge, fire-breathing bear head placed in the corner of the rink. His image is imposing, his pads adding volume to his already imposing stature.
Under the flashing lights, he glides across the ice toward his goal, timing his every move to the rhythm of the Metallica song playing over the speakers. He lowers his head and the audience goes crazy.
The Grizzlies are coming off a bad season. A really bad season. Some players left the team, but not Jasper. He already has an Olympic gold under his belt, and he is not one of those who go from one place to another chasing a championship whatever. He wants to win here.
He doubted Jasper would waive his tenure clause. He had signed a long contract with the goal of staying close to his family, on the ranch, probably until the end of his career.
What child doesn’t dream of playing on their city’s team?
Between the tubes, it starts at one end of its fold, methodically cutting its blades through the space, scratching the surface of the ice for more grip.
There is something about this moment that always fascinates me. It seems so smooth, so rhythmic, so in the zone that I can never look away.
I love a lot of things about Jasper, but him being so good at something never makes him less attractive. To me or other women.
I suppress envy as I glance at the box of family and friends. I’ve been here a couple of times, but always with my cousins.
Never alone.
The atmosphere is fun and light-hearted, but there is no doubt that they are looking at me. Especially since I’m wearing an oversized Gervais t-shirt and I’m a pretty recognizable face in this city.
“Are you here with Jasper?” “A perfectly groomed brunette woman appears next to me, bouncing a baby in her arms.
-Yeah. I smile.
He looks at me, but not in an unfriendly way.
-What is your name?
Sloane. And you?
Callie. “He picks up the baby and holds out a hand to me.
We shake hands and I like the woman. His handshake is firm, but he doesn’t squeeze my hand in a strange display of aggression.
“Jasper doesn’t usually have anyone up here.
My eyes are drawn back to the ice, where Jasper is squirting water into his open mouth through the cage across his face.
-No? I ask in a low voice because I have always made it a point not to ask about his private life.
I always felt like it would hurt me too much to know.
I’ve been swallowing the green-eyed monster for decades, but she hasn’t stayed still. He jumps on me unexpectedly.
Powerfully.
“He has all the girls talking. “Her personal life is a real mystery to all of us,” Callie continues, throwing her chin over her shoulder as the puck drops and the game clock starts.
Ah. I look in that direction and see several heads that quickly move away, like children caught looking. If it’s any consolation, I’ve known Jasper since he was ten years old and he’s still a mystery to me.
-Ten! His eyes widen comically and then he sighs. Well, that’s adorable.
I smile, but forced. Adorable. Rather painful.
And that pain only grows as the minutes go by. Because circumstances doomed this match from the beginning. Jasper is legitimately distracted. His head is not in the discs that are heading towards him at breakneck speeds.
The opposing team scores first, less than a minute into the game. And it’s not a good goal.
I know Jasper would want to come back. They score again five minutes later.
I bite my nails and the pink bridal polish comes off. Two minutes later, a third shot finds the back of the net.
I moan and bite my bottom lip so hard it bleeds inside.
And when Jasper concedes a fourth goal before the first twenty minutes of play have elapsed, I have to hold back tears. Not because they’re losing, but because watching him skate-head down and shoulders slumped-after being kicked out of the game makes my chest hurt.
I know you consider yourself responsible.
He looks like the boy I knew all those years ago: devastated.
And over the next few games, it doesn’t get better.