It’s time to snap out of it.
I’m just making her a box but sprucing it up with a window for pictures and some custom Celtic designs. God knows what Killian is buying her. Teagan has more electronics and accessories at thirteen than I do at twenty-four.
It’s small, so it won’t take up much space if she doesn’t like it. My mom used to tell me that the beauty of a box is that it can be whatever you want it to be.
Back when I was living in Ireland, I made them out of farmers’ disused pallets and sold them as vintage items. Although I wasn’t exactly rolling in money, there was a sense of gratification in what I’d created.
My ex filled my head full of shit that I could make a business out of it.
The following two hours are spent constructing my design, taking measurements, and carving and sanding the wood. I use grit sandpaper rather than tools to sand the wood since it’s a lightweight, delicate wood that easily marks.
This is as much for my benefit as it is for Teagan’s. Sanding helps me release some of my pent-up tension.
Carving Teagan’s name and the Celtic Knot takes about an hour.
After finishing the job, I send a picture to the Kelly family group chat and smile for the first time today.
Mam messages back. How wonderful! Your American family must love you! X
That’s all it takes for my smile to die.
***
I’m late. Shit. I run through the hallway into the kitchen to see Killian is already back from his run. It’s six o’clock.
I brace myself as he turns, scowling. He’s not happy.
“Morning. I’m so sorry. I slept in.”
I avert my eyes from the distracting sweat glistening on his thick bare biceps. Now I know they feel as good as they look. Lucky for me, he’s wearing a T-shirt. His stubble is thicker than it usually is as if he hasn’t shaved in a few days. It suits him.
His eyes move over me, reminding me he knows what I look like naked. “Week three, and you’re taking liberties already?” He raises an annoyed brow.
My face reddens. “Sorry. I didn’t sleep well last night.” Because I was running through every possible outcome of this morning in my head.
“Don’t think I’ll let you take advantage because of what happened between us.”
I gape at him. I can’t believe I thought I was falling for this guy. Am I a glutton for punishment? “It’s got nothing to do with what happened. Like I said, I overslept. It won’t happen again,” I say with more steel in my voice. Can’t he drop it now?
He sighs, and his expression softens somewhat. He looks like he didn’t sleep well, either.
“Teagan and I are heading out tonight for dinner, so you don’t have to worry about making something. That’ll give you time to catch up on sleep.”
“Sure,” I say, forcing a smile. Is he trying to get away from me? “Do you want your breakfast now?”
“Since you slept in, I don’t have time.”
His tone, his stance, his eyes. All cold as ice. Freezing.
I get a flashback of the heat in his eyes when we were fucking. Of how his large hands roamed my body like he worshiped it.
“Sorry.” I cringe. How many apologies can one make in a single morning?
“Should we talk about what happened on Saturday night?” I immediately regret asking the damn question the moment I see his jaw tighten.
“Let’s put Saturday behind us and move forward, okay?” He says it in the same tone he uses to ask Teagan to remove her eyeliner. “Can you do that?”
I feel fucking patronized.
Of course he doesn’t want to talk about Saturday night; it meant nothing to him.
I attempt to mask my hurt. I know he can see it. I don’t know why I feel so burned. I had a few one-night stands before but always managed to walk away just fine. Maybe this situation is different because he’s my boss, and I can’t simply walk away.
I hate that I wear my feelings on my face.
I hate that Saturday night meant more to me than him.
I hate that I’m the naive, small-town girl who imagined this whole scene would end with Killian apologizing to me.
“It’s fine,” I joke weakly. “Sex with the nanny isn’t in the manual.”
He manages a slight smile. “No, it most certainly is not.”
I busy myself with loading the dishwasher as he drinks down a glass of water behind me. At least this way, he can’t read my face.
The tension in the air is unbearable. I need him to leave.
“From now on, I promise to keep my hands to myself,” he says softly behind me.
My heart flutters.
“It’s all good, Killian. Let’s go back to how things were before.” I plaster a false smile on my face. I have to protect my heart. We are two puzzle pieces that don’t fit together. “Pretend it never happened. I’ll only be working for you for another two months.”
I especially hate that he looks so relieved.
Killian
Connor swings the door to my office open, grinning wide. “Miss me?”
He looks far too fresh to have spent three days in Vegas. Then again, at thirty-two, he’s got an advantage on me.
“I’m surprised the place didn’t go up in flames while you were away,” I say sarcastically, looking up from my screen. “Successful trip?”
He strolls in and rests a shoulder against the wall. “Expansion of The Regency Casino finally agreed. I thought we were going to have another situation with the building contractors. But way more importantly, I got to squeeze in watching the fight at the MGM. Best heavyweight title fight I’ve seen in decades.”