***
Gasping for breath, Chris watched the closed door of the study, willing himself to wake up from whatever nightmare he was trapped in. He felt numb all over but at the same time, felt so much pain within his chest. Had Shane just broken up with him? He’d never seen so much anger and decisiveness on Shane’s face as he’d seen moments before. It was as though Shane had made up his mind and there was no going back. Chris allowed himself to slide to the floor, wrapping his arms around himself. He couldn’t believe what had just happened. He felt like his world had actually come to an end.
“Oh my God, no.” He muttered, shivering as though he were standing in the snow, naked. “This can’t be happening.” He mumbled. “I’ve lost him.” He whispered as the tears streamed down his cheeks.
After sitting on the floor of the study for a while, Chris dragged himself off the floor and got out of the study. As if in a trance, his feet carried him directly to his childhood bedroom, where he’d spent a lot of time with Chris…and where he’d committed the greatest sin ever…in his opinion.
When Chris entered the room, he switched on the light and looked around. His room had always been big. Like an adult’s room. His father had always said he was only one after all…no siblings…so why not make the most of it? The room was just as he remembered. Except for the LED TV on the wall. Everything had been left as it was all those years ago. Well, those had been his exact orders. It was obvious, however, that the room was cleaned very often as it looked extremely clean.
Chris turned to stare at a spot on the carpet. The carpet hadn’t been changed but it still looked as good as new. There was no bloodstain or anything of that sort but Chris knew exactly where to look…where he’d left Shane lying in blood and snort that night. That night he’d beaten Shane to a pulp and attempted to take his own life afterward. Chris locked the door after him and walked slowly forward till he got to that spot.
Then he completely broke down.
***
Shane came awake, drenched with sweat. He scrubbed at his eyes as he sat up on the bed. He didn’t remember having a nightmare but there was a heaviness around his heart that made him so uncomfortable and sad. Then he remembered! Chris. Shane turned to look at Chris’ side of the bed and noticed that it didn’t look slept in at all. Chris had still not come to bed. Shane turned to the clock on this bedside table and noticed that it was five-eleven a. m. Where the fuck was Chris, he thought worriedly. He remembered the tears on Chris’ face when he left him in the study earlier and groaned.
“Shit,” Shane muttered as he got off the bed and headed towards the bathroom.
Shane had gone to bed around a quarter to three a. m. after taking a quick shower. He’d contemplated going back to check up on Chris, remembering his tear-streaked face. But he’d felt too drained after the humiliating revelation and their fight so had fallen into a restless sleep. His plan was to wait till morning to decide whether to leave Florida or to simply move into a hotel till Sunday.
Though he preferred the first option, he felt he could at least take it easy in a hotel till Sunday…just to relax. Then at least, he would have had a week’s vacation. Chris had still not come up by the time Shane was about to sleep. Well, he’d obviously not been to bed at all. After rinsing his mouth with a minty mouthwash, Shane pulled on sweatpants and a t-shirt and went in search of Chris.
Chris wasn’t in the study. Shane went to every possible place he thought Chris could be but couldn’t find him. He went outside but the car was still parked, an indication that Chris hadn’t gone out of the house either. Shane had never felt so much panic as he felt at that particular moment. He couldn’t help but be angry at himself for leaving Chris in that state. He should have known better than to do that, knowing what Chris had tried to do to himself the first time he thought he’d hurt and in effect, lost Shane.
“Oh God, no.” Shane groaned as he ran back to the study to check the drawer in which he’d seen Chris putting his father’s gun. He almost passed out with relief when he found it inside the drawer. “Where the fuck are you, you idiot?” Shane muttered to himself. He just wanted to find Chris…needed to see that he was okay. “His room,” Shane mumbled suddenly and broke into a run.
“Chris?” Shane called out when he tried to open the door and realized it was locked. He knew Chris was in there because he could hear him sobbing. “Chris, open the door.” Shane couldn’t mask the desperation in his voice. “Please.” He pleaded but Chris didn’t open the door.
Shane contemplated going to ask the caretaker, Jon, for a spare key. But apart from the fact that he didn’t want to alarm the guy, he knew that once the key inside remained in the keyhole, he couldn’t open it with another key from outside.
“If you don’t open this door, I’m going to break it in, Chris,” Shane growled. “Come on, open it.”