The pictures could be explained. He went for closure with Rachel. Isabella kissed him, not the other way around. Those could all be logically excused. But these notes? He lied to me. James had loved Isabella. He didn’t have to lie to me about that. He could have said he loved her. And that she cheated on him and it broke his heart. The only reason you lied about a divorce was for one reason: if you were still in love with the person. And you wanted to convince yourself you weren’t.
I wanted to grab a box of notes James had written for me, get lost in them, and forget about everything he had ever said to Isabella. But I didn’t have a box of notes from James. I mostly had emails and texts. And the few handwritten notes I did have weren’t anything like this. They were telling me he had gone for a run. Or to remind me about a dinner we had to go to.
James was my first love. He was my only love. But I wasn’t his. He had made it seem like I was. At least his first love like this. A great love. The kind you see in movies and read about in books. But it didn’t seem like I was.
I didn’t know him at all.
Saturday
I wasn’t sure how long I stood there, staring out the window. The sun had set over Central Park and the lights were coming on, lighting up the walking paths. It was so beautiful that it didn’t even seem real. That was the same conclusion I had come to about my relationship with James too. It was too good and too perfect to be real.
I knew he was out of my league. But I thought he loved me. I knelt down in front of the window and pressed my forehead against the glass. I closed my eyes and savored the feeling of the cool glass on my forehead. There weren’t any tears left inside of me. I had tried to call James a few times, but it always went straight to voicemail. It wasn’t his fault, but each time he didn’t pick up it just validated all my fears.
This was how Isabella wanted me to feel. She had won. It hadn’t been a fair fight at all. I touched my cheek where she had slapped me. She had even warned me. I shook my head. No. Isabella had said she had two weeks to win James back. If she was sending me this stuff, I didn’t even want to know what she was doing to him. I already knew she had kissed him. Maybe that wasn’t the end of it.
My phone started buzzing in my pocket. I pulled it out. Mason. I quickly answered it. “Mason!”
He laughed. “Hey, Penny. Having a good weekend?”
“Can I talk to him?”
Mason laughed again. “Jumping right into things, then? So, about that… you need to stop calling. You’re distracting him from having fun.”
“I’m sure he’s having quite enough fun.”
My comment was greeted by silence.
“Where are you guys?”
“Costa Rica.”
What the hell were they doing in Costa Rica? “What hotel?”
“Nice try, Penny. I’m not telling you where we are. You’re not allowed to infiltrate his bachelor party.”
“Mason, I really, really need to talk to him.”
“Umm… I would hand the phone over, but he’s currently indisposed.”
“Indisposed? What have you been doing?”
He laughed. “I’m just kidding. He’s taking a shower.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. It didn’t matter how upset I was, I would always worry about him. “Has he been getting packages? Or any mail there?”
“No?”
“Has he been acting weird?”
Mason laughed. “He’s not getting cold feet, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Okay.” Well, that’s good. Isabella probably didn’t know where they were.
“I promise I’m taking good care of your fiance. You don’t need to worry. I’m not going to let him fuck up the best thing that’s ever happened to him.”
That was sweet. It was also apparently untrue. “That’s not what I’m worried about.”
“Are you okay, Penny? You can talk to me you know.”
Talk to James’ best friend about this? No, I can’t. “I need to talk to him, Mason.”
“I’ll give him a message for you.”
“That’s okay. I’ll just… see him tomorrow night. Right?”
“I’ll have him back before midnight. I promise.”
“Okay. Bye, Mason”
“Wait. There was a reason I was calling.”
I didn’t say anything.
“I think Bee’s phone died. I haven’t heard from her all day. Could you go over there and see if she’s okay? And tell her to call me?”
“So you want me to tell Bee to call you, but you won’t let me talk to James?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re a terrible person.” I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony.
“And that’s why you love me.”
There was some noise in the background.
“Rob’s back,” Mason said. “I have to go. Please check on her, Penny.” The line went dead.
***
Even though I wasn’t allowed to talk to James, at least I knew he was safe. That was the only reason I had walked over to Trump International. And because Bee’s phone had gone straight to voicemail when I called her.
I paused in the lobby, remembering the day that James had brought me here when he was still my professor. It had been perfect in every way. I laughed to myself. This was also the first place I had ever met Mason. I remembered how his stare had made me uncomfortable.
It was almost like he could see me. Really see me. But he was probably just sizing me up for his side business.
Bee worked hard. She had probably just fallen asleep early in front of the T. V. or something. I got onto the elevator and listened to the fancy elevator music playing. It was strange that Bee and Mason lived in a hotel. But they had made their apartment very homey. I always felt comfortable there. Besides, living like you were in a hotel was kind of fun. Even though their apartment was technically classified as a condo in the hotel, they could still order room service whenever they wanted.