And I am selfish. Because I want you to be with me despite my demons. I want to kiss you every morning when you wake up in my arms. I want to whisper I love you in your ear before we fall asleep at night. I want my days to be consumed by your love. And I want you to love me back even though I am telling you that I am not good for you. Because it is your choice. I tried to stay away from you and I cannot. I am not a good man. But if you choose me I will not push you away again. I will trust your judgment. And every ounce of me hopes that you’ll make a mistake and come back to me. Every fiber of my being wants you to make the wrong choice. And if you do, I promise to be the best that I can be for you.
I don’t care that you lied to me. I don’t care that you only just turned 20. I don’t care that you are a student in my class. All I care about is you, Penny. My greatest love.
Tears were streaming down my cheeks. He opened up to me. He finally opened up to me. He had written this before my birthday. He had almost ripped it up that night because he wanted to protect me. But I was so glad that he couldn’t stay away. Because I loved him too. I loved him so much. I couldn’t seem to stop my tears. I wept for a long time, sitting there in the middle of Main Street.
I went to fold the paper to put it back when I realized there was another sheet behind it. I put the tickets and the note back into the envelope. I wiped my eyes so I could read what was on the last sheet of paper. It was a bunch of legal jargon. I scanned it. New York City Supreme Court. December 29th, 2014. It felt like my heart stopped beating. I looked down at the bottom. James Hunter. His signature was above his printed name. And beside it was Isabella Hunter. There was a blank line above her name. His divorce papers. She hadn’t signed them, but he had. Last year, just like he had said. This was the proof that he was done. It was the proof that I needed to trust him. He was getting divorced. I quickly stood up and began walking back to his apartment. I needed to see him. I needed to tell him that I still loved him.
The street began to wobble in front of me. I slowed down and then stopped completely. My vision was blurry. The pain in my head seared. I tried to reach out for something to steady myself but there was nothing there. I gasped for breath. I reached into my pocket for my phone. Oh God.
“James,” I mumbled as I fell to the ground.
PART 2
Saturday
I sat up with a start and blinked hard as the room came into focus. Where am I? “James?”
“Shhh. Penny.”
I looked up into the familiar eyes of my mother. “Mom?” My voice caught a little. It was so good to see her.
“It’s okay, sweetie, I’m here.”
“Where’s James?” I lifted my arm but it was attached to an IV. I was in a hospital bed. I looked down at the tubes in my hand.
“Penny, who’s James? Do you mean Brendan?”
“What?” My mom’s eyes were red. I wasn’t sure if it was because she had been crying or because she was tired. But it made me want to cry. I was so happy to see her. But where was Professor Hunter? I needed to talk to him.
“The nice young man that found you?”
“Found me?” I pulled on the IV. Shit that hurts.
“Penny.”
I looked over at my dad. He had just stood up from a chair. He put his hand on my shoulder.
“Take it easy, Pen. You have a concussion.” He looked over at my mom and then back down at me. “You need some more rest.”
I looked over at my jacket. It was draped across the back of the chair my dad had been sitting in. I wanted the envelope. I wanted to read what Professor Hunter had written again. I needed to see him. “I know I have a concussion. But I’m fine. I don’t need to be here. This is silly.”
“Penny,” my mom said.
“Really, I’m fine.”
“You fainted in the middle of Main Street. You’re not going anywhere.” She leaned down and hugged me. I automatically relaxed and rested my head on her shoulder.
“It’s so good to see both of you.” I swallowed hard, trying to hold back my tears.
“Aw, Penny. We’ve missed you. When we got the phone call we were both so worried. If Brendan hadn’t been here to tell us what happened, I would have gotten in a fist fight with that incompetent doctor.”