I wasn’t sure how I’d feel once I saw him. He had an effect on me. I was just about to knock on his bedroom door when I heard something. I put my ear against his door. He was playing guitar. Softly. I closed my eyes and listened. I didn’t recognize the song, but it sounded sad. I couldn’t help the tears welling in my eyes. Could I do this? Did I even want to?
I listened to the rest of the song. It was beautiful. I had never heard him play before. When it ended I quickly knocked on the door before I had time to chicken out.
The guitar made a weird noise and then everything was quiet. “Umm, just a sec,” I heard Tyler say. A moment later he opened his door a crack. “Shit, Penny.” He came out and closed his door quietly behind him. He was wearing just his boxers. He still had sex hair. But the inside corners of both his eyes were bruised and his nose looked swollen. Professor Hunter must have broken his nose.
“Penny.” He touched the side of my face. “Penny, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“God.” He put his hand over his mouth. “I called you a million times. Didn’t you get any of my messages?”
I hadn’t checked my phone. I shook my head.
“Penny.” He wrapped his arms around me. “I was so worried.”
I still liked how comfortable I felt in his arms. “Tyler can we sit down?”
Tyler glanced at his door. He suddenly looked nervous. “Yeah, let’s go downstairs.” He grabbed my hand and led me down the stairs. We sat down on the couch in his living room.
“Are you okay?” He eyed my bandage.
“It’s nothing.”
“Penny.” He pushed my bangs out of my face.
“I have a concussion. I needed a few stitches. It’s not a big deal. I feel okay now.”
“I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I just got so angry when I saw him yelling at you.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay.” He put his hand over his mouth again. “I punched you. I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I punched you.”
“It was an accident.”
“I’m so sorry,” he repeated. His fingers traced the hem of my tank top. I could tell he wanted to see where he had hit me. But I didn’t want him to see the bruise. I didn’t want him to feel bad.
“I’m okay.”
He shook his head. He pushed my tank top up.
I grabbed his hand. “Don’t, Tyler.”
“I need to see.” There was so much pain in his eyes. I let go of his hand. He pushed my tank top up to my ribcage. “Fuck.” He put his hands over his face. “Fuck. Penny, I can’t apologize enough. I’m so sorry.”
“Tyler, I’m fine. Really, I’m okay.” I pushed my tank top back down.
“It really doesn’t hurt?”
“Not as much as my head.” I tried to laugh. It came out forced.
“Which is also my fault.”
“I slipped. It wasn’t your fault.”
“You slipped because I knocked the wind out of you.”
“Tyler.” I put my hand on top of his. “Are you okay?”
“You mean my busted up nose? Yeah I’m fine. I kind of deserved it, didn’t I? I provoked him enough.”
“You both acted stupid. But it was my fault for putting you in that situation.”
Tyler shook his head. “I don’t regret being with you. Not for a second.”
“I don’t either.”
Tyler sighed. “When you fell I didn’t know what to do. I let him take you. I didn’t know how to take care of you.”
“It’s okay.”
“I was scared. I was so scared that you wouldn’t be okay.”
“I’m okay, Tyler.”
“He knew exactly what to do. I just stood there like an idiot and watched.”
“I wouldn’t have known what to do either.”
“I’ll never forgive myself for what I did to you.”
“I’ve forgiven you. Actually, scratch that, because there’s nothing to forgive. It was an accident. You’re being too hard on yourself.”
“You wouldn’t open your eyes. I was yelling your name and you just laid there. Penny so many thoughts went through my head.”
“It’s over. Please stop, I don’t want to hear about it.” I let go of his hand and touched my forehead. It was hurting more and more as I sat there.
“I’m sorry.” He looked distraught.
“It’s just a headache. I’m okay.” I took a deep breath. I needed to tell him that I wanted to be with Professor Hunter. But he looked so upset. And he was barely wearing any clothes. I closed my eyes. “I heard you playing your guitar.”
“Oh. Yeah.”
I opened my eyes. “What was the song? I didn’t recognize it. But it was beautiful.”
“I wrote it.”
“It sounded sad.” I wanted to cry. I swallowed hard. This was so painful.
“Does he know you’re here? I’m pretty sure he’d come back and break my nose again if he knew you were talking to me.” Tyler gave me a small smile. I could tell that smiling hurt his nose.
“He doesn’t know.”
“Did you walk here? I feel like you shouldn’t be walking around by yourself.”
“Tyler, I’m fine. I needed to come talk to you.”
“I guess you and Professor Hunter had some time to talk then?”
“Time to argue, yes.”
“I want you to be happy.”
I shifted in my seat. “He told me that he stopped talking to me because he thought he wasn’t good for me. It wasn’t because he didn’t want me. He was being… selfless.”
“And you believe him?”
“I’m choosing to. I want to believe him. You were right. I’m still in love with him.”
Tyler nodded his head.
“It’s hard, because I do have feelings for you.”
“I know.” He leaned in and placed a soft kiss against my lips. “But you don’t love me.”
“I do love you. I love who you are as a person. But I’m not in love with you.”
He nodded.
“I’m sorry.”
“I could tell you weren’t over him. If I had agreed to be your boyfriend, would things be different right now?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”
“Tyler?” A girls voice sounded from upstairs.
“I’ll be right there!” he called back. He grabbed my hand. “It’s not what you think.”
Wow, Brendan was right. Tyler got me and now the chase was over. How could Brendan’s awful advice actually be right? Was everything really just about sex? “So that’s why you didn’t ask me to come into your room? Of course. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come here.”
“Penny…”