“Oh my god, Noemie, I’ve missed you so much!” A smile breaks on his face and he looks so happy. He pulls me into a hug, his arms tight around my body. “Oh, baby! I’m so happy!”
I don’t hug him back, but I don’t pull away. I don’t want to hurt him.
“But you remember, or at least, you believe me now. Now we can be together, I’ll help you! Anything you need. And as soon as you get better, you can come home, with me, and I’ll take care of you!”
“Chris…”
He backs off a little, looking worried. “Oh, too fast? Sorry. Okay, we’ll take it as slow as you need. I don’t care. I’m just glad I can come and see you now, now that you kinda remember. We can start making plans! We can rebook the trip to see your mom, since she’s not coming out here. We can go somewhere for my birthday in a few weeks, as well. I’m going to take you to the new sushi place that’s just opened up!”
He jumps up, reeling things off, counting on his fingers. He really does look so happy.
I think… I think it’s because of me. Me. I made him happy. How could my brain forget something like this? Someone attached to me like this?
I’m broken. I really am.
He turns to smile at me, and nothing moves inside me.
Give it time, my mind tells me. Give me time to heal. Don’t be too rash and give up something that could mean so much to you… just because you don’t remember them.
But my heart, my hearts tell me, give it all up, for someone else I don’t remember from my past, but who means everything to me now, in the present.
***
Chris leaves about half an hour later.
It can’t have been soon enough. My head was pounding but he seemed so happy that I didn’t have the heart to ask him to leave. I fell asleep pretty much as soon as he left, my dreams filled with all the things he’d told me. What we’d done together, things we’d planned for the future.
It sounds like we were happy.
I can’t imagine what it must be like for him, to wake up one day and have his girlfriend, me, be gone.
I didn’t recognize him at all, the first time he came to visit me at the hospital, he says. And I’d been quite distressed. So, he’d stayed away, given me time to heal. But he couldn’t wait any longer, he’d said. Now he is back. For me.
And I still don’t remember him.
“Knock, knock,” Paige says, not knocking actually and walking straight in. “Who’s the heartbreaker sitting outside?”
“That’s Mike, my bodyguard. I told you about him.” I wave to him and he sits back down on his chair. I’d called her after the incident at the elevator. I thought she was going to explode with both excitement and anger. She loves a good celeb sighting, but she was pretty mad that I’d been in some sort of danger.
“Do you think he’s single?”
“Why don’t you ask him?”
“Because I’m a little scared of him. Scared and turned on. Which, as you know, is the best combination.”
I shake my head but can’t help smiling. To be honest, I’m happy to see her. I’m still shaken up from the day’s events; the paparazzi crazies and then finding out I’m dating Chris. Jez hasn’t even been by, and I’m sure he has a reason, but it’d be good to get to ask him a few questions about what happened, and to make sure he’s okay as well.
“What are these?” Paige says, pointing to the flowers Chris brought.
“Um, flowers.”
“Yeah, I can see that, where are they from?”
“Chris. My boyfriend,” I say, matter-of-factly. To see how she reacts.
Paige stops fussing with her bags and turns slowly toward me. I can’t read anything from her expression. And it’s like she’s waiting, in turn, to see how I react.
“I have a boyfriend. Chris. You know Chris.”
She takes a long breath and comes to sit by me on the couch.
“I do know Chris,” she nods.
“And do you know he’s my boyfriend?” And I can’t help but silently beg that she says no. It would make it all easier to deal with.
She pauses, then nods again, slowly. “Yes.”
Fuck.
“Paige.” I say, trying to urge her to give me more information but it sounds more accusatory than I meant to.
“I’m sorry. We, um, he and I agreed that it would be better to give you some time to heal first. You were pretty distressed when he came the first time.”
“Oh my god.” My head suddenly starts to pound, and I close my eyes, trying to brush away the stars that appear. I was barely dealing with one forgotten, let alone two, one who I’ve obviously had an intimate relationship with.
“It’s okay, honey. We’ll sort it out,” she says, squeezing my hand.
“I don’t want to sort it out!” I burst out loud, and she flinches but doesn’t say anything. “I don’t feel ANYTHING for him, in fact, the last thing I DO remember is being utterly disgusted by him!” I shout even louder, finally ready to verbalize the feelings I’ve been having since he came into my room. “I don’t understand how this happened. It just doesn’t make any sense!!”
“Honey,” she says softly, patting my shoulder. “You’ve got an injury. This is part of the recovery.”
“Then I don’t want to fucking recover,” I yell, the anger still bubbling inside me.
“I know. I’m sorry. It sucks,” she says. And I feel instantly bad for yelling, even if it wasn’t meant to be at her. Not after everything she’s done for me. “Maybe, though. Maybe just give him a chance. I mean you are starting to remember a few more things slowly, maybe he’ll come back to you soon.”
“But what about Jez?” I say. Asking her the question, I’ve been asking myself since I found out I apparently have a boyfriend.
“What about him? Is he your boyfriend?”
“No. Not that I know of,” I have to admit.
“Not that I know of either. You never mentioned him to me before. But Chris… Chris I know about.”
“Shit.” I lay my head down on her shoulder.
She sighs and brushes the hair from my forehead. “Don’t think about it too much more tonight, honey. You need some rest.”
“Yes, she does,” we hear a voice at the door. “You are going to need your rest… so that you can go home in a few days.”
“What?” Paige says, jumping to her feet, her mouth dropping open.
“What are you saying, doctor?” I ask him, afraid he’s going to say it’s a joke.