“Come on, don’t be like that, Emily.”
“Like what?”
“Like this-like I’m evil.”
“You find a better word for it you let me know.” I pick up my bag and head to the exit. “I’m leaving.”
“Hey, we’re still here,” he says, grabbing my arm, his voice tense.
“Unless you want me to write about your groupies, then my job here for tonight is done!”
I pull my arm out of his grip and push myself out the door.
“Emily!”
I stop in my tracks, not turning around to look at him.
“You could make this easier on yourself, you know.”
“How?”
He moves up behind me, pressing his hot, sweaty body against my back. My lip can’t help but curl up into a sneer. He leans over and whispers into my ear.
“You could stop fighting this. I know you want me. Why do you keep pretending you don’t? Haven’t we always been meant for each other? Ever since we were teenagers? Because I know I want you.” His breath clings to me like sticky tar.
I try to shrug him away. But he moves closer, a finger tracing down my arm. There’s acid in my throat.
“No.”
“Em, come on. We have a kid together!”
“Silas, I said no. And trust me. I mean it.”
I feel him back off, the cold air whooshing in between our bodies, filling me with relief.
The relief is short-lived before he grabs my arm and spins me around to face him.
“Why are you being such a bitch? Huh?!” His breath is hot and dank in my face. And I struggle to get out of his hold. “Is this because of him, because of pretty boy Brad?”
“No, it’s because of you. Let me go, Silas!” I try to shake him off, but he’s too strong. I can feel the bruises as he’s digging into my bicep with his fingers.
“No, admit it, admit that you want to go back to be his little slut. What I can’t understand is why? Why, when I can give you the world?”
“Let me go!” I yell again, ignoring his words, just wanting him to release me. So I can run, run away and never see him again.
“Why? So you can go and fuck him? Cheat on me behind my back again?” He spits out each word like it’s poison as he riles himself up.
“What are you talking about?”
“You think I don’t know you fucked him that night after prom? That clown? That loser? When we were still together? You think I don’t know that you’ve been nothing but gagging for it from him ever since? But I saved you. I saved you by deleting his messages. Or else where would you be now? Just another groupie, another notch on his belt.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing, what he’s saying. It can’t be true. “What did you say?”
“You want me to repeat the whole thing?”
“No, just the part about deleting his messages.”
“Oh yeah, his weepy whiny, why don’t you love me, I’m going away, come wave goodbye to me message. What a man.”
I shake my head. Even after everything, and knowing what kind of person he was, I can’t believe that Silas would stoop so low. “Oh my God. You’re unbelievable.”
“I did it for you.”
“No, you did it for yourself, like you do everything. What makes you think you can be a father to Ben?”
“You’re really one to talk. You’re here because you claim I blackmailed you.”
“You did.”
“I didn’t have to try too hard. One threat that I’d look into your past and you crumbled. What you did must’ve been pretty despicable. So how does that make you a better parent than me?”
“Because I gave up everything to be here, for him!” I yell, all the hurt and frustration boiling to the surface. I gave up everything for my son, and Silas wasn’t going to cheapen that.
“Then you might as well enjoy it while you’re here.” He leans in to kiss me, and I reach up to scratch his face, spitting in his eye.
“Get away from me you narcissistic fuck! LET ME GO!” I yell again, hoping it will surprise him into loosening his hold on me. The way he’s acting, there’s no telling what he’s capable of.
“You fucking bitch!” he snarls and grabs my throat, the other hand coming up as if to strike me.
“Hey!”
The voice startles us and we both turn to in its direction. It’s the club’s bouncer, standing a few yards away. Silas’s hand lets go of my throat but moves down to grab my wrist.
“Are you okay?” he asks me, and my knees almost buckle with relief.
I can barely breathe, and only shake my head in response.
“Yeah she’s okay,” Silas answers and waves his hand as if dismissing the bouncer.
“I was asking her,” the guy responds, not moving.
I shake myself out of Silas’s loosened hold.
“Uh, yeah, thank you. Could you, could you please maybe call me a cab?” I ask, my hand coming up to rub my neck.
“Yeah, no problem, ma’am. Maybe you should go back inside, buddy.”
“Maybe you should mind your own business,” Silas growls, glaring at me.
“I’d like to see you try to make me,” the bouncer says, as if wishing Silas would make a move.
“Just go, Silas,” I whisper, closing my eyes, begging him to leave.
“Fine. I’ll…I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Whatever. Just go.” Forever. Just go away, forever.
I feel his eyes on me for a long, torturous moment, before he strolls back into the building. I make sure he’s gone before I sink down onto my knees, my body shaking with sobs, my head falling into my hands.
“Ma’am. He’s gone now. I’ll wait with you until your cab comes.”
I can only nod in reply as I try to catch my breath.
But I know he’s there. And it stops me from completely falling apart.
***
I stand under the shower for over an hour.