“Wha?” Hailey replies, giving us an innocent shrug.
“Your dad said don’t say anything,” Sebastian accuses her.
“Yeah, to you. He said the opposite to me. Anyway, it’s important to get your name out there, cementing you guys for the gig. I heard everyone is clamoring for it and there’s a huge list of bands just waiting to take over.”
“No kidding, like who?”
“Arctic Monkeys, Angus and Julia Stone, The String Flingers,” she rattles off.
“Whoa whoa, who? You’re kidding right? The String Flingers?” I ask her.
“Nope, not kidding. I heard they were in the running.”
“Good God why?” Jez sneers, totally unimpressed.
“Well, they got a lot of exposure when they played before you guys at Snow Fest and frankly, they’re cheap. They’d pretty much play for free, just for the publicity. And well-festivals aren’t cheap to run,” she explains.
“Ugh, I could fart into a microphone and sound better than those hacks,” I say, causing Marius to snort his herbal tea.
“Well, save it for the comeback tour, okay?” he says once he recovers. Grabbing onto my arm, he holds me back while the other guys keep walking. “Dude, you okay? I don’t usually see you so worked up.”
“Just. You know, Silas,” I say, the S’s in his name coming out just like I thought they would, like a snake in the grass.
“What’s going on with that?”
“I don’t know. I just… Man, I don’t know, I don’t know how to help her,” I tell him, feeling completely helpless.
“Just be there for her. I know what it’s like to feel helpless. But it’s not about you, it’s about her,” Marius says, a rare sensitive side showing.
“But I love her. I can’t just stand here and do nothing.”
“That’s why you gotta put your shit aside and do what needs to be done for her peace of mind.”
I smile at him, grateful. I know how hard it is for him to refrain from making jokes. “Thanks. You’re the best girlfriend a guy could ever have.”
“You’re welcome. Want to see my boobs now?”
“No thanks, we see enough of those on our album cover.”
“Hey, whatever gets us the sales, dude.”
***
I know Marius is right. I know I just need to not worry about what it all means for me, and worry about what I can do for her. For her and Ben.
I just don’t know what that is. I’ve never had to make decisions based on someone else before. In fact, I’ve never really had to make any decisions for my life at all. I’ve been sheltered in my life with the band. It’s always been about the music and the music first. Everything else came after.
Except for each other.
And I guess this is no different.
I knock on the adjoining room door to Emily’s room. There’s no answer and I knock again.
“Butter? Are you in there?”
I press my ear against the door. There’s a sound coming from inside but again, no answer.
“Emily! Are you okay? I can hear you in there. Open the door.”
There’s a pause, and then I hear soft footsteps.
She throws open the door and the look on her face makes my stomach sink.
She’s pale and her eyes are brimming with tears. She’s holding papers in her hands that shake as she steps aside, letting me walk past her and into the room.
“Baby, what’s wrong?”
“He…He…” She stares at me, unable to get the words out.
“He… what? Who?” I ask, trying to help her form words.
“Si-Silas.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” I don’t know what’s coming next, but it can’t be good.
“He’s suing me for custody of Ben.” She looks at me, her eyes red with tears, frantic, as she tries to process what’s happening.
“NO!”
“He…” She holds out the papers to me. “I’ve talked to my lawyer and…and she says he’s citing neglect. That I’ve been neglecting my child and he wants …wants custody of him. To take care of him. Because he says, he says…I’m a bad mother!” she repeats as if unable to comprehend it.
Pulling her into my arms, I hold her as she erupts into sobs. Her body shaking against me, every bone, every muscle, vibrating with her despair. I banish the hate rising up in me to deal with later as I try to comfort her as much as possible.
“He’s…he’s got no chance, angel. He’s just grasping at straws,” I say, squeezing her tight, trying to protect her in the circle of my arms.
“My lawyer said…they said…he cited Ben’s broken arm, and then taking him on this tour…and then losing him at the concert and then leaving the next day without him to Northville. They say that’s just in the last few months, and it’s all documented,” she says through her tears, her voice breaking as she relates back the list.
“None of that is your fault! And none of it proves you’re a bad mother or neglect him!”
“His arm is broken in three places, Brad!”
“I know, angel, and you know what? I broke my legs twice before I was ten. No one called my parents bad parents. Kids have accidents! And this tour? What’s so bad about that? Kids go on vacation all the time. You’ve seen us, we enjoy a drink now and then, but we’re not drug-addled fiends. And he wasn’t lost. We would’ve found him. He was right there. Maybe if Silas hadn’t taken him away. And as for Northville, we were barely gone ten hours.”
“But…” Her voice cracks before she can say anything more.
“He’s got nothing, angel.”
“He does. He’ll find something. You don’t know him.” She pulls away from me, her eyes darting back and forth as she if she’s trying to follow the thoughts flooding her brain. “You don’t know me.”
She sinks onto the bed, her head falling into her hands.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’m not perfect, Brad. Don’t make me out to be.”
“I’m not. But you’re not a bad mother. You’re a wonderful mother and you’ve got a shitload of people who are going to swear to that if it comes to it.”
“But…I’ve made mistakes…like you said, I fucked up.”
“We’re over that now. It’s over.”
“No, Brad. I mean…I fucked up big.”