Emily
There’s a beeping from the kitchen and the sound of ice falling in the machine.
It wakes me and then I realize it’s not the only foreign sound.
Seagulls, or some seafaring birds, are hungry and calling out their food orders. Others reply. I can’t help but giggle at my translation. “Get it yourself, Norm. I’m tired.”
The soft wish-wash sounds like waves crashing onto shore and I wonder how far away they are. I roll across the bed, and there’s no warm body to stop me. The dip in the mattress is cold and I wonder how long he’s been gone.
Pulling myself up onto my elbows, for the first time since we arrived last night I see sky. Sky and sea. The sun is just rising and the view out of the ceiling-to-floor window is divine. Literally divined by God.
The sky spreads out in front of me, a soft pink hue blending with light blue, blending right into the ocean, as if they were but one.
It’s so seamless it takes me a while to realize we’re on a cliff. I sit up higher, but I can’t quite see where land drops into the sea.
I scan the horizon, and see him. Sitting on a bench, staring out at the same marvel I am.
Picking up his shirt from the ground, I pull it around me, and then add the blanket for good measure.
The sliding door is still cracked and I push it open, shivering as the cold, winter morning air hits me. I wander over to the bench and stand behind it, leaning over him, sliding my arms down his chest and pressing a gentle kiss to his neck.
“Mornin’.”
“Hmm, mornin’ angel.”
“You’re going to have to stop calling me that or else I’ll start to think I am one.”
“One what?”
“An angel.”
“But you are.”
“Of mercy?”
“Hell no, you weren’t very merciful last night,” he whispers into my ear, then presses a kiss to my jaw.
“I didn’t hear you complaining.”
“Oh, but I wouldn’t. I like the little evil you have in you.”
I stand up straight and walk around the bench. He pulls me onto his lap, the blanket enveloping us both. Nuzzling against his neck, I wonder how I could become so addicted to his scent so quickly.
“Evil. Dirty. What happened to all the compliments?”
“Fine, you’re also nefarious and a total nymphet.”
“Don’t forget ‘bossy.'”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I giggle, stupidly content. We’re quiet as we watch the sun rise from its lazy perch on the horizon and up in the sky. I can’t remember the last time I watched the sunrise.
“Can we stay here forever?” I sigh.
“I didn’t have any plans of leaving.”
“Did you mean it…that you always meant to bring me here.?”
“Never meant anything more.”
“Bet you didn’t plan on there being a Ben though.”
“No, but it doesn’t change anything…except we might need to build a wall.”
“Really?”
“Well, yeah, I intend on devouring you on a regular basis. That’s not compatible with Ben sleeping in the same bed.”
“No, I mean…really, it doesn’t change anything?”
“What doesn’t change anything?”
“Me having Ben.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You really don’t, do you?”
“No. And now you’re making me feel dumb.”
“I mean, me having Ben, it doesn’t change how you feel? About me, about wanting to be with me?”
“You’re kidding me, right?” He pulls away and his eyes search mine.
“Kidding how?”
“Oh, God, now you’re the dumb one,” he says and I poke him hard in the stomach. “Ow! I just mean, that’s a silly question. You don’t know how I feel about Ben? Really?”
“I guess…”
“I love that little bugger like he was my own. I love him because he’s just like you. And if you weren’t his mother, I would love him just as much. I just wish he were mine.”
I don’t know what to say.
So I don’t sully the moment with words. I just curl up in his lap, the safest place in the world, and wish I never, ever have to leave.
***
“It’s your phone,” I say to Brad an hour later. We’ve both emerged from the joint shower, and I’m trying to find something in his closet that doesn’t scream “I left in the middle of the night in a nightie for a sex marathon.”
“Thanks, babe,” he says, walking past me, but not before landing a loud smack on my ass.
“Hey!”
“Shush, I’m on the phone, can’t you see?” he teases.
“Ittttt’s Brad!” he jokes into the phone.
His face immediately turns serious. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. What’s going on?”
His eyes flick to me, and I try not to panic. Unsuccessfully.
“What is it? Is Ben okay?” I whisper to him.
He nods and presses his fingers to his lips, quietening me, listening to the words coming at him a mile a minute over the phone.
“Okay, okay, we’ll be right there. Just…just don’t do anything and keep B-…just make sure everyone’s okay. An hour, tops.” He presses a button on the phone and looks up at me.
“Well?”
“Let’s …I’ll explain in the car.” He grabs my hand and pulls me into a hug.
I know better than to ask right now. I will when we’re on the road. I don’t know why. It’s not usually my way to not panic, but Brad seems calm, and if he’s there, whatever it is can’t be too bad.
***
It’s bad.
It’s…it’s my worst nightmare. The one I’ve been having ever since Ben was born. The one that’s been coming on strong these last few weeks.
In the car, Brad waits until we’re on the highway before he takes my hand and tells me. The guys woke up to a loud knocking on my bus door. Hailey knows better than to answer things like that, and waited until Jez and Sebastian came out to see who it was and what they wanted.