Natalie’s POV
I stood right in the middle of my office, staring through the door Brandon had just walked out of. I indeed did have a thousand different thoughts swirling inside my head. His kiss was still fresh on my lips, his touch scorching to the tips, and the things he had said still echoing in my ears-that he cared for me, that he had feelings for me.
Now, it was as though everything that I had ever thought about this marriage, about us, lay toppling to the ground, over and lay there, topsy-turvy.
How could I set this straight? It was like grasping at smoke with my bare hands. That was supposed to be a concocted business contract, nothing now…now it had turned into something, something so much dirtier.
My door creaked just about when I was going down, lost in thoughts. I turned back to face Brandon again, but the head poking in was Hailey’s. Her eyebrows furrowed, a mix of worry and concern.
“Natalie?” she asked hesitantly. “Are you okay? I saw Brandon leaving… Is everything all right?”
I attempted to muster a smile in return, although I know that it was at best an effort. “Come on in, Hailey. I. I don’t know where to begin.”
She stepped in, closed the door behind her, and crossed the room to approach my stance.
She seemed to be eyeing me up and down, on the lookout for any obvious signs of what had happened. “What happened? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
My breath was shaking, and suddenly my knees felt weak as I sat down on the chair across from my desk. “I can’t even explain it,” I confessed, and my hand raked through my hair. “Everything is just… so messed up right now.”
Hailey flopped down in the chair across from me, then settled into a forward lean, her elbows to her knees. “Start at the beginning. What’s wrong?
It was a moment before the dam broke and the words came tumbling out of my lips. “It’s Arlys, the lady who came to see me.” I began.
My voice shook a little saying her name. “She’s… she’s Brandon’s ex-girlfriend, the girl I caught him kissing,” I started to explain. : He said Arlys almost jumped him and, before he could do anything about it, I came in. And… and then he proceeded to tell me that he wants to be more to me, that he likes me.”
Hailey’s head turned toward mine and her face softened, eyes filled with understanding. “And what are your feelings about that? About him?
I shook my head once more, feeling my eyes begin to sting as I continued, “I don’t know, Hailey. I don’t know what I am supposed to feel. It was a contract, a business arrangement. Now everything is so goddamn complicated. I don’t know if I can trust him or me for that matter. What if this is all another ploy, some other way he’s going to manipulate me?”
She reached over and pressed my hand, reassuringly. “Natalie, I’ve known you for years, and I know when you’re overthinking something. I understand this is a lot. But maybe, just maybe, Brandon is being sincere. Maybe he just cares about you a lot.”.
Not to our joined hands, but to the warmth of her skin. “But what if he isn’t? What if this is all some kind of game to him? I don’t want to get hurt, Hailey. I’ve been through enough already.”
She became serious then, her head nodding. “I get that, but you’re this far in, Natalie. You went ahead and married him. And if there be any slight chance that he’s telling the truth, he does care for you-wouldn’t that be worth considering? Worth at least trying to make this work?”
Something of a bitter laugh escaped my lips as I shook my head. “How can I do this if I no longer know what’s real? How will I ever know whether I should trust him?”
Hailey squeezed my hand once more and her tone was low. “Take it slow, Natalie. You don’t have to have the answers right now. Just…take it one step at a time. Get to know him; try and understand where he’s coming from. You never know what you might find.”
Then I looked at her luminous eyes, and my heart was full of doubts. “What if I find out it was just a mistake? That I never should have trusted him in the first place?”
Hailey gave me a pathetic smile; her eyes brimmed with pity as she told me, “And then you’ll know, and you can move on. At least you won’t be left with ‘what if’? You will have given it a real chance, and that’s all that anybody does.”
Her words were starting to sink in. She was right; I was already in, whether I liked it or not. Maybe, just maybe, something here all along was worth saving. The possibility of hurt hurt again, and opening myself to more pain was almost paralyzing.
“I’m so scared, Hailey,” I said. “I’m scared of getting hurt again. I don’t think that I can handle that.”
Her head bobbed. The understanding was written all over her face. “I know, Natalie. Seriously, you’re a lot more powerful than you think you are. It’s just that you have already gone through so much and come out just fine. You can do this. Just take it one day at a time.”
“I see,” I said very slowly, her words have been some kind of balm that just soothed the hurt a little. Maybe she was right, maybe I could do this. Didn’t make the fear any less real, any less smothering.
“What about Arlys?” I asked, my voice low, not wanting to start yelling. “She’s still after Brandon.”
Arlys’s name slightly darkened Hailey’s face, and brought out protective instincts. “If Arlys is gonna play the drama queen scene, you meet her head-on. Don’t let her get inside your head, Natalie. You’re smart; you’re stronger than that. If Brandon does care about you, then he’ll stand by your side.”
I bit my lip, and fire lit up within me. “You are right,” I found myself exclaiming, raising my voice. “She is not going to get under my skin. I will not let her take this marriage down if there is something worthy for us to fight for.”
Hailey smiled back at me, pride gleaming in her eyes. “See? You’ve got this, Natalie. Just remember, you’re not in this alone. I’ll stand by you, no matter what happens.”
Frowning a bit, I tried to smile back. Seeing pride in her eyes, I felt a small bit of relief. Knowing Hailey was behind me made this whole situation a little more palatable, a little less impossible.
“Thanks, Hailey,” I replied, thankful. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
She waved a hand, her eyes warm but dismissive of the thanks. “That’s what best friends are for. Now, are you going to be okay? Or do I need to drag you out of here for some much-needed retail therapy?”
I laughed then, a real laugh, and some of the tightness in my chest relaxed. “I think I’ll be okay. But I’ll keep that offer in mind.”
Hailey smiled down at me, reaching out to make one final squeeze of my hand before she stood. “Good. And if you need anything, anything at all, just call me. I’ll come running, no questions asked.
I nodded, and with her being there, all my doubts went away. “I will, thanks, Hailey.”
She turned at the door to give me one last smile. “Keep your chin up, Nat. You’re stronger than you think.”
She walked out the door, and I breathed a big sigh before leaning back into my chair.
Brandon’s confession, that kiss, shook me. It had woken some emotions in me that I did not even know were there, feelings that I was not sure if I was ready to face.
There was Arlys, Brandon’s shadow looming from the past, always threatening to cloud our present.