Christian paced the sidewalk, the anger radiated off him with each step he took, with each stomp he made on the damp grass.
How could they be so callous?
As if seeing Antonia so hurt wasn’t enough, Laura had to add salt to injury by humiliating him, like he was a mere pest she couldn’t wait to be rid of, after calling him to come, and worse, Rian had been there to witness it all!
He ran a hand through his already messy hair. What made it all worse was he had no idea how he could make Antonia feel better, he wanted more than anything to take her pain away, but how?
He punched the wall with all his might as the memory invaded his mind yet again. The wall crumbled in the shape of his fist, the dusty bits from the damage remained on his fist. His fist throbbed painfully but it didn’t matter, none of it mattered. Not when Antonia was probably at home blaming herself for something she couldn’t change.
He groaned and shoved a hand through his hair, the sting of hair rubbing against bare flesh sharp enough to make him stop his pacing.
He huffed and walked the final steps back to the house, there was no point looking like a mad man on the sidewalk for just anyone to see. He was frustrated, yes, he was mad, yes, but he could handle it, he didn’t have to break down publicly.
The drizzling rain relieved the ache in his shoulders, albeit slightly. The familiar structure of his car came into view and he quickened his pace till he was right beside the car.
He pulled the door forcefully and slipped into the backseat. He couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty for refusing to go in, to go back home, to go back to Antonia, but he couldn’t shake how horrible he felt either, how helpless he felt, if he stayed or went in, he would only make things worse for everyone, she would think the news made him sad and feel worse when it was in fact the pain she felt that bit at his gut.
The exhaustion from the entire day weighed heavy on his eyes and he felt the creeping but sure temptation that was sleep. He curled up in the back seat, his back already ached from how much he had to curve to fit in the small car, but he would rather that than face Antonia at that moment.
His shoulder sagged as he drifted into a peaceful sleep.
—
The cold morning air was furious on Antonia’s cheeks as she stepped out of the house in her usual jogging outfit which was basically a black tank top and a pair of stretchy pants. Her white Nike sneakers squeaked with each step she took down the little front stairs.
She shoved her hair back and held it tight with a hair tie. Her eyes fluttered closed briefly as she let out a calming breath. It’s been a crazy couple of days and never had she needed a jog as bad as she did that morning. She needed to clear her head and that was the only way she knew how to.
She stretched to the left and right and began brisk walking to warm up. She had only taken a few quick steps towards the sidewalk when her eyes caught movement at the back of a car, a car that belonged to Micheal.
Her brows scrunched in confusion as she moved closer to see Christian curled up in the backseat of the car, he looked so peaceful despite how uncomfortable the position looked. Why hadn’t he just come in? She wondered as she moved closer to the car to be sure he was actually in fact the one sleeping in the backseat of the car when the house was just a few steps away from it.
Her hand rapt against the transparent glass, her curiosity growing with each tap. Christian turned to the side but didn’t steer awake. She tapped on the glass again and he steered but didn’t still wake up. She shut her eyes and forced them open before tapping on the glass again, harder.
Christian ‘s eyes snapped open. It was slow but his eyes eventually slid to her, without recognition at first then it clicked. She fought the urge to shake her head at how predictable he was when he was forced to wake up.
The door was pushed open and he stepped out of the car. She watched still with a question in her eyes as he stretched lazily.
“How come you didn’t come in last night?”She asked since he wanted to take all day stretching. It was either he didn’t hear her or he was deliberately ignoring her, she was going to choose the former.
“The door wasn’t locked, you could have come in, why didn’t you?”She repeated. His eyes met hers, an emotion she couldn’t quite place her finger on swirled in them, he looked away before she could place a pin on it and walked inside the house without a word.
Antonia’s jaw dropped and she stared at the door dumbstruck. What was that about? She considered finishing her jog but shoved the thought off. Whatever it is that would make him sleep outside, in an uncomfortable position like that had to be serious.
She followed in after him, “what was that about?”She demanded.
“What was what Antonia?”He asked barely above a whisper and dumped into the couch.
“That!”She gestures towards him, “that attitude!”
“What attitude?”His eyes remained shut, his shoulder slack like he had no will in him.
“You know what I’m talking about, don’t play dumb.”
“I really don’t want to make things worse.”He said, his voice defeated. He opened his eyes and the moment their eyes met, she found the pin, he was sad, worried and lost.
Her eyes softened. It finally clicked. The way he had avoided her gaze, avoided her in general.”It’s really not your fault, it’s not something you could control or do to yourself and I just wished you would see that.”He muttered, the sadness in his voice broke her heart.
“I can’t help it, what about bearing kids for you.”She blew a breath as she took a seat beside him. She wrapped an arm around his shoulder. She couldn’t help but feel mad at herself, why couldn’t she just have been like every other woman, why did she have to be cursed. All she wanted was to have his babies, but she couldn’t.
He turned to face her, his hand cradling her cheeks, “Antonia I don’t really care about all of that, you’re all that matters to me.”He whispered, his eyes searched hers.”You’re the only thing that matters, your happiness is.”
Antonia’s eyes fluttered closed as his thumb rubbed circles on her cheek. He pulled his hands away, “I understand if you need space, I’m willing to give it to you, but I just need you to know that what you give me, the love you share with me, is more than enough for me, you’re all I want.”He placed a kiss on her cheeks and walked into the bedroom.
She watched him walk away conflicted. She knew he was right but she couldn’t help but feel inadequate, but then again, it wasn’t her fault she couldn’t bear children. Just as she was about to run after him to tell him she was willing to push past it, her ringtone blared, she groaned as she snatched the device from the center table.
“What next?”The voice asked from the other end.