Kamara’s POV
I hate to admit it, but Chantelle was right after all. It’s exactly ten days today out of the fourteen days I was given as an ultimatum, and nothing appears to be forthcoming. None of the banks I went to were willing to take the risk. We are really in for it.
It’s more scary, seeing how everything is happening all at once. I wish I can put a pause to the world for a brief moment, just for me to catch my breath. But, of course, life will go on whether you have a shitty life or not. It’s heartbreaking just thinking about it.
For some time, I always blamed suicide victims for not holding on a bit longer. Now I know they were right, it is suffocating. That evil man will never win, I won’t give in to such a devious scheme. Yanking off the duvet, I stood up to get ready. I will have to try something else. Dr. Scott might be able to help me one way or the other. She said I could come to her office this morning. I just have to do something.
“Andrew! Call 911!” I heard mum scream from her room.
Rushing out to see what’s happening, I found her on the floor shaking my lifeless looking dad, with an empty drug container. My heart dropped to the pit of my belly, I turned around with shaky hands when my siblings rushed in to see him.
The last child, Jason had called for an ambulance. In no time, we were all running into the hospital while dad was getting rolled into the emergency room. My breath hitched as I leaned against the wall, feeling my entire world spin.
My eyes searched around the hallway, mum looked hysterical as she kept ruffling her hair. June and Jason sat on both sides, trying to calm her down while they sobbed. Ciara stood still like a zombie.
One would think she is no longer breathing. I can’t believe my dad attempted suicide, has it really gotten to this? The door finally opened and the doctor in charge stepped out. We all rushed towards him.
“Talk to me, doctor. How is he?” Mum asked.
“He is stable now, but he would be spending a while here. The nurses will let you know which room he is taken to.” The doctor said, nodding his head lightly before walking away.
Mum gasped for breath as the tears rolled down her face uncontrollably. “Why would Andrew even think of leaving me after everything we have been through? How could he?”
I sniffed back the tears, wrapping my arms around her. “It’s alright, mum. Let’s be thankful that he is fine now. Please, calm down.” I pleaded, guiding her back to the chair. I checked my wristwatch and realized I was almost late for my meeting with Dr. Scott. “June?”
“Yeah.” She replied in her usual gentle tone.
“Ensure to look after mum and Ciara.” I said, looking towards Ciara, she still had the dazed look in her eyes. “I will be back soon, uhn.”
“Okay.”
I rushed off, flagging down a taxi while dropping a text for Chantelle about what happened. I have no one else to share my woes with, just her. Dr. Scott was waiting when I arrived. My racing heart seemed to relax at the smile on his face. This should be good.
“Kamara, darling. How are you?” He greeted.
I smiled weakly, sitting down. “I’m fine, thank you, Dr. Scott. Thank you for having me.”
“The pleasure is mine. I can always squeeze time out for my best student.”
I scratched the back of my neck, clearing my throat awkwardly. “Dr. Scott, I know this might seem unlikely, but I am really stuck as it is, and I need all the help that I can get.”
“Okay, what is this about?”
“I… I am hoping you can help me out with a one hundred and fifty thousand dollar debt. I promise to pay back in installment. You don’t need to worry about that. But for now, I require the money urgently. My family and I are bound to lose our home if the debt isn’t paid.”
He kept mute for a few seconds and took off his glasses. “Kamara what you are asking of me is beyond my reach. I can’t help you. I am still paying off the loan I got from the bank for my mortgage. Furthermore, I really wish I can help. What happened? Why do you need such a large sum of money?” He inquired.
I already felt too deflated to answer the question. The ground seemed to be shaking underneath me so bad. I want it all to end right now. If only the world can come to an end and I wouldn’t have to bother about paying debts or seeing my family suffer. A rush of tears blinded my eyes for a few seconds. This must be how my dad felt after trying every option possible and nothing came out positive. His mind couldn’t take it anymore, and he resorted to ending it.
I feel like that right now. I would rather not see tomorrow and end up worrying about what would be one of my family and me.
“Kamara? Kamara? Talk to me, please.” Dr. Scott said, shaking me back to my reality.
“Please excuse me.” I said quickly and ran out of the office.
As I got out of the building and stood rigidly, everything moved at a fast pace and I could envision the coming future for my family.
We all end up on the streets, and we are subjected to doing whatever is good enough to bring food to the table.
Jason ends up doing drugs and the rest of us living recklessly. I will definitely run mad at this point. But what other option do I have? It’s either death or shame. I have to choose one. Death doesn’t seem likely, I have a dream that I intend to achieve. If I can endure the shame, I will eventually get what I want. Never did it occur to me that this might be my only way out. I have always prided myself to beat against the odds, but here I am clueless.
Knowing my dad is suicidal and might contemplate on it again if nothing is done makes my heart rip apart. I know how hard he works, how relentless he is. Seeing him so broken weakens me. And there is Ciara, what if she does something stupid too. It’s only nine months. I should be able to sacrifice that much for my family. It’s either now or never, I have to.
Giving myself reassuring words that I am doing what’s best for my family. I hastened up my steps, watching out for a cab. I heard my name faintly from behind, but I was too deep in thought to pay mind.
Flagging down a cab, I called the address. Luckily, for me, he was just driving out of the premises. Swallowing hard with tear-filled eyes, I exhaled deeply, blocking his way.
“I’m ready!” I blurted.