There is a knock on her door.
You have to go, says Cassie. Her pale face is stained bright red with tears. She’s an easy crier-something I love about her. Please. Please, Kaya.
But I root myself onto the ground.
Who the hell just knocked ?
Her voice is raw. You just need to-to trust me.
Cassie, if you’re talking to another little fucking friend in there, I swear to God I’ll bust down this fucking door.
What does Gavin want ? I say in a low voice, but Cassie is already pushing me to the ground, motioning under the bed.
I’m-I’m coming, Dad, Cassie says in a trembling voice. I see her tuck back strands of her pink hair, quickly smudging away the tears from her face. I’ll just open it. One sec.
Why is the door locked ? Gavin snarls. We’ve already had this fucking conversation. Your door should never even be closed.
But . . . when I change . . .
Especially not when you change, he growls.
My stomach lurches, and I hear the door click open.
From under the bed, I see my stepfather’s footsteps as he meets Cassie. Too close for comfort. My heart is pounding so fast I can barely hear, but I see it when his large, callused hands drifts to her chest.
I see the realization stab him.
Your hair, he says in a stony voice.
Gavin never liked me-no, my stepfather hated me with every fiber of his being. But Cassie . . . he always had a soft spot for sweet Cassie. I just never imagined, I never thought-
I-I like it, says Cassie. It sounds like she is holding back tears.
Why the fuck would you ruin it ?
And then . . . then, I am reminded of two years ago. Gavin had a strange, unnatural obsession with my mother’s ginger hair. But I imagine now that she’s older, it’s lost some of its fire.
I understand, Cassie, I think. I know why you did it.
He loved her red hair, so she dyed it.
I notice as Gavin’s touch gets rougher. He pushes her against her dresser, and the little lipstick tubes and compact mirrors and hairbrushes rattle.
I thought you-you said we would wait until marriage, Cassie says, her voice getting higher. Right, Gavin ?
It’s Dad, he snaps, and I notice he is slurring.
Once, when I was eighteen and afraid, I wouldn’t have rolled out from underneath this bed. I wouldn’t have made a noise ; I would have been shocked, terrified to the bone, and my reaction would have been slow.
But now I slide out from underneath Cassie’s blue-quilted bed. I still have the gun Veah gave me to fight off the Yakuza men two days ago.
I have no idea how to shoot a gun.
But I aim it at my stepfather anyway.
Step away from her, I say fiercely. My hand is shaking. Leave her alone.
Kaya, no, Cassie cries.
This isn’t like me at all. I’m not a fighter-far from it. I’d consider myself more of an intellect, actually. Books, code, puzzles.
Genius and idiot, two for one ideal, Tommy always told me.
I’d consider this one an idiot move.
Get away from her ! I say, my voice rising, when Gavin doesn’t move.
And then he smiles. Look at you, he slurs. Kaya. Pretty thing. Guess you’re still a lesbian, aren’t you ? Shame.
You’d have never had a chance anyway, I snap. Get away from her.
Alright, alright, he says, raising his hands. Mocking. What are you going to do now ? Are you going to shoot me, in my own fucking house ? I’ll snap your neck, little girl, I swear to God I’ll snap your pretty little neck.
No, Dad, please, Cassie sobs.
Cassie, walk out the door, I say.
Two seconds. I make a choice.
You’re going to let us leave, I whisper. Or you’re going to have the Mafia to answer to.
The blood drains from Cassie’s face.
But Gavin only sneers. You ? Involved with the Mafia ? You’re a pussy, little girl. And you’re bluffing.
There is one thing I learned from Veah.
I unclick the safety of the gun. Maybe I am bluffing, I breathe. But do you want to see what I’ve learned ?
This time, he is silent.
Cassie backs away into the hallway, and I follow.
A door opens at the end of the corridor-the bathroom. My mother comes out, wrapped snugly in a white towel, her face damp and pink from a shower.
When she sees us-my gun pointed at Gavin, ushering Cassie down the stairs-her mouth drops open. She freezes.
In that moment, I think of all the things I could say to her.
You’re a terrible mother.
How could you ?
You chose him over me.
But I don’t say any of it. I only give her one last searing look, and I follow Cassie out the door.
Start the engine ! I call out to Veah, as we sprint across the law.
Her eyes flicker-I can’t tell what she’s thinking.
But then I hear Gavin roaring from the porch behind us, and I hear the unmistakable sound of a rifle assembling.
Go ! Go ! Go ! I shout, throwing myself into the passenger seat.
Cassie climbs into the back, and Veah jerks the car forward.
What the hell was that ? Cassie gasps. Did you just . . . Kaya, did you just threaten to shoot our stepfather ?
Has he been doing that to you this whole time ? I spit out. And you never told me ?
How could I ? Cassie cries. You’re already sending me money for med school, and I know how much it’s costing you ! How much more would a place to stay be while I finish high school here ?
I don’t care how much it would have costed ! I care about you ! And he was touching you, Cassie, you should have told me-
The car slams to a stop.
Veah’s eyes are dark and full of fury as she says, He did what to her ?
Danger. There is something fatal, lethal to the way she gets out of the car in one fluid motion. She tosses me the keys.